- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
I have had minimal guest list drama. But the other day my cousin sent back her RSVP. I invited her, a guest for her (she has been dating someone for a few months), and her 3 children, who range in age from 18 to 3. All the names (including her boyfriend’s name) were written on the envelope. I got her RSVP back and where it said # attending she wrote in 6. I was perplexed for a moment, and then realized she added a guest for her oldest son. Her oldest son is a very nice kid, and he’s dating a very nice girl who I’ve met once, and they live together now I guess.
Well, we have a very limited venue size, and we were hoping for a very intimate wedding (<120 people, which is bigger than we were hoping for initially). If we go over this number of people, we have to pay A LOT (thousands) more to the venue, not to mention the additional cost for food, drinks, rentals, etc, and not to mention that the bigger wedding will go against the intimate vibe we were hoping for. Many people we invited and thought would not be able to attend are coming, so we will likely be right at the 120 mark – we really don’t have room for extra people that were not initially invited, though there are a few people I wish I could have inivted but didn’t for that reason.
We gave all of our cousins (all in their 20s or 30s) +1s, and all of our friends +1s. I did not give cousins’ children +1s (obviously, the point of this whole discussion) because they are all 18 or younger and I felt we had to draw the line somewhere…
I called my cousin, told her we were really happy they were coming, BUT, we don’t have enough room to extend a +1 to her son, unfortunately. She got back to me today and said her son understood, but wouldn’t be coming. I thanked her for letting me know, appologized, and said we were very excited the rest of them were able to come.
My aunt (cousin’s mom, who I love to death) sounded very disappointed when I was talking to her about this, and my parents told me they’d give me money (something we’ve adamantly turned down, for many complicated reasons) if we went over and I should just let the girlfriend come. I’ve stuck to my guns, but I feel like my fiance is the only one who really has my back on this decision…
What do you think? Let the girl come, have to spend lots more money, lose some of the intimacy? Or say, “I’m sorry” and stick to our guest list?
Also, part of what annoys me in this situation is that no one called me to ask if this girlfriend could come, it was just written in on the RSVP. And, I saw on facebook that like the minute before she texted me about her son deciding not to come, she wrote “today sucks! I hate today!” She hasn’t said what that’s all about, but I can’t help but feel like it’s about me, and I feel bad…