Am I in the wrong? HELP!

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

If I was your fiancé I would probably be a little bit mad too. 50th birthdays aren’t just any old get together, they’re a pretty big deal, and it wouldn’t kill you to go along for an hour or two, make polite small talk and then leave. I think the fact that you were so adamant about not going, especially if your FI goes to things for you (as indicated in your post) is kind of not fair to him.

i don’t know what TMJ is so for my answer, that doesn’t factor in to it.

Post # 4
Hostess
7630 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

Unless this is a common thing, it sounds like he was just frustrated and taking it out on you (and the cat.) He may not have wanted to go but felt like he had to and wanted you to share the awkwardness. It doesn’t sound like he expressed that well. Hopefully when he comes home he will be calm and apologize. 

Post # 6
Member
1619 posts
Bumble bee

Even if you are the only ‘young’ people at the party it shouldn’t be too difficult to make conversation for a couple of hours and make an appearance – especially if he does things and goes places for you.  Perhaps he says he doesn’t really want to go, but his actions, say otherwise. 

As to his behavior, I’d not be thrilled with anyone who pushes an animal around out of anger.  That actually might bother me more than anything else you said. 

Post # 8
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Part of being married (and an adult for that matter) is that sometimes you have to do things/go places that you don’t particularly want to. Saying it will be awkward is a shitty excuse, and i would have been irritated too.

Post # 11
Member
1599 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Sounds like he’s frustrated about something else, or just in a crappy mood.  To be honest, I don’t see the issue with going to the party even though you’re “young.”  Most of our best friends are 15-25 years older than us (and we met most of them when we were in our early 20s, while they were in their late 30s-early 50s.)   It’s only an issue if you act immature or make it an issue.

Give him some space.  Its just a little tiff, one of probably many you will have. Go run some errands and leave him alone for a while, I’m sure it’ll be fine.

Post # 13
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Jw1724:  because obviously he changed his mind and decided the right thing to do is to make an appearance. You don’t have to be thrilled about it, but as a supportive partner you could go, have a drink, and move on with your night.

He said he goes to things he doesn’t want to for you, and wants the same support from you. Maybe he didn’t express it in the best way, but those are still valid feelings.

Post # 15
Member
1619 posts
Bumble bee

Even if you agreed not to go, he’s changed his mind.  I’d bet there are times you’ve changed your mind about something too.  He could have talked with you sooner, and that would have been nice. but didn’t. 

Going to a bar for a drink, especially if there are lots of people around,  shouldn’t be that awkward. 

This just sounds like it’s turning into a power struggle over what should be a nothing issue.  What else is prompting each of you to dig in your heels? 

 

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