(Closed) Am I in the wrong here?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Should I go out for FI's birthday, despite hating going to bars?
    Suck it up princess - it's only one night : (57 votes)
    76 %
    Stay home, you shouldn't be forced into something you hate doing : (18 votes)
    24 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    7175 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    I think your compromise is a good one and he’s overreacting.  Has he said specifically why he’s upset?  Does he realize why you don’t want to join?

    Post # 4
    Member
    858 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    No, its not so bad. I always end up being sober driver too. It sucks, because sometimes you’d like to cut loose too, but you never feel comfortable without someone else stepping up first.

    I also understand why he’s mad; he wants his special gal there on his special day. But I’d say your grievance trumps his, just because I can relate.

    Post # 5
    Member
    7779 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    No. I really dont think its so bad. You are not being snotty or making a big deal over it. I think he needs to simmer down a little.

    Just maybe tell him, “Hey babe. I really want you to have an awesome birthday and I think you’d have more fun with just the guys than you would if I were tagging along.” Then maybe offer to have a private birthday dinner or something with him beforehand so that he feels like you are still celebrating with him.

    Post # 7
    Member
    5273 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    I don’t know, I turn into a bit of a baby on my birthday Kiss

    I can see where he is coming from, I love spending my birthday with good friends AND my SO. So while he is being a baby, I do think we should all get our wish that one day 😉

    Post # 8
    Member
    8354 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2011

    @Gingersnap: Although, you compromise is very good, I do have to agree with him that it is his birthday and it seems to be very important to him that you spend it with him, so if I were you, I would probably go anyway. What would you do if it was your birthday and you wanted him to spend your birthday with you and he didn’t want to spend your entire birthday with you?

    Post # 9
    Member
    74 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Unless he is constantly dragging you around from bar to bar as you plead with him to go somewhere else, then yes I can see his side of the story. If he’s just asking you to do it today, because it’s his birthday, I don’t think that’s asking a whole lot.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1851 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    Ehhhh I’m going to be the black sheep on this one. As annoying as it is that when y’all go out you end up having to take care of people, I think that maybe you should suck it up for the night and just do what he wants to do. It is his birthday, and it’s kind of sweet that he’d rather spend it with you as opposed to just his friends. You could always preface it by telling him that he’s going to owe you big on your birthday;)

     

    EDT: Maybe not such a black sheep after all 🙂

    Post # 10
    Member
    426 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    @Gingersnap: If it were a random Tuesday I’d say, sure stay home. But it’s his birthday. I think it’s sweet that he wants you to come with him and spend the night with him. It means he loves you. You don’t have to get totally smashed, and you don’t have to take care of anyone else if you don’t want to. BUT I think you should go. If you’re lucky you’ll have another 60+ birthdays with him, and they may not seem special to you, but if it means it’s 60+ days that you put your thoughts/comforts aside and slightly adjust to his then that’s not really that much.

    Post # 12
    Member
    4824 posts
    Honey bee

    @Gingersnap: Actually, I would think yes.  Especially if you rarely ever do it.  Or plan ahead some and see if its OK if you stick around for the first two hours and plan to leave early.

    If I really wanted to go to the ballet which I know my FI hates on my birthday you better believe I would expect him to take me.

    Post # 13
    Member
    426 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    @Gingersnap: If you expect him to do the same for your birthday (obviously not drinking, but a movie, play, dinner with your parents) then yes.

    Post # 14
    Member
    7976 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    Is it possible he thinks you’re being passive aggressive and trying to get HIM not to go? Because that’s what my husband would probably assume, hahahaha…

    The topic ‘Am I in the wrong here?’ is closed to new replies.

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