Post # 1
I posted previously that my mother was letting my son’s father who is fresh out of prison live with her until he gets on his feet.
My son’s father was released from prison (drug related charges) in Jan of this year after 5 years. He spent the next 6 months in a half way house and then at the end of June moved in with my mother. My husband and I asked her not to let him move in but he did anyway.
We went into this with an open mind thinking this could be good for my son. He is 12 and has never had a real relationship with his father.
His father has made a lot of promises over the past 5 years. He told my son how when he got out that everything was going to be different and that he was going to be a better father. He wasn’t going to drink anymore or put women or his friend first. I had high hopes for him.
The first week he was back he was drinking and bringing girls around my kid. Took him to the liquor store and I found out on Sat that 2 weeks after he moved in with my mother he was arrested for a PI and his gf for a DWI. My mother knew the night it happened but he asked her not to tell me so she didn’t (for 2 weeks) she finally decided to tell me while my son was in a car with these two idiots. She also told me that he has come home sloppy drunk several nights and that he let his gf sleep over after my mother told them she couldn’t. I asked my mom to leave my house because I felt betrayed. I would hold her responsible if something were to happen to my son while he was with his father and it could have been prevented.
I immediately called my sons father and demanded he bring him home. I told him that he needed to tell our son the truth. He is going to end up back in prison and I don’t want to have to see the look on my son’s face when I have to tell him that his father is gone again.
J (my son’s father) told me that it was non of my business what he does. I feel if it affects my child then I have every right to know. Regardless if it’s him or his gf. I told him if me or my husband were to ever get arrested that he has a right to know as well.
So am I wrong for being mad and hurt by not only my son’s father but more so my mom?
Post # 3
You are not wrong at all. I’d be livid!
Post # 4
Are his visits ordered to be supervised, if not that is the first thing I would do.
Post # 5
Absolutely agree with the PP. I’d say supervised visits are 100% warranted here. Then you know he’s safe but you don’t have to take away their time together. Its so hard in situations like this because as much as you want you kid to have a relationship with his Dad, if its an unhealthy one then its not worth it. Hopefully he can sort his shit out before he gets himself in trouble again!!
Post # 6
Unless the court ordered visitation, my child would not be going near that man.
My ex husband was an alcholic and a drug user. The court ordered one unsupervised visit and because of it my children almost died.
Please dont send your child back to your mom’s. Sounds like she is enabling his behavior.
What if your child had died?
It is your business. As far as Im concerned. Your child should not go back. If he wants to see his child then he should get an attorney and fight for his visitation. However I can tell you that most courts will require him to prove his sobriety and take drug test before they would approve a visitation.
Good luck and keep your child away from your mother and your ex.
Post # 7
@TexasSpringBride: ita with you.
OP – I would see a lawyer about visitation.
Post # 8
You are absolutely not in the wrong.
Post # 9
Wow, your mom is really off her rocker, letting your EX live with her, and supporting these bad habits (even though not directly, she IS, because she is allowing him to live with her, and I am assuming there are no consequences for his bad behaviour).
You are most definitely not in the wrong, you have every right to be concerned and upset. It is your kids’ safety at stake here. Your ex and your mother need to grow up.
Post # 10
Thank you ladies! I knew I wasn’t crazy for being so upset. He does not have visitation. And I know that even if we did go to court no judge would grant him visitation. He is allowed to visit our son whenever he wants under my roof so that I know exactly what is going on. I don’t want to keep my son away from him but I need to know that my son is safe at all times. My kids are my world.
Post # 11
@MrsUNClover: You are not wrong at all. I would be absolutely furious! You’re mom should have told you about these things that have been happening because they affect you and your son directly. I would not trust your mom, and since she wants to let your son’s father stay with her knowing that he disregards her house rules that’s her problem.
Post # 12
You are most definitely not in the wrong, and it is most certainly your business. By the way, your mom needs to wise up.