Post # 1
Things we have or have done:Date is set for April 9, 2011; we have put a deposit of $250 down for ceremony and reception hall. Rings are bought, Ring pillow made (need to add ribbon and flower), toasting flutes (painted), 4 made pomanders (items to make 4 more), Card box (almost completed), Letters for gift table done (“Welcome” “Celebrate” “Love”), Letters for Sweetheart table done “BCD” our initials, 5 yards of fuchsia satin to make table runners, flower basket (needs ribbon), 2 boxes of print your own invitations (not opened). Besides the rings and deposit we have about $200 invested in the other items and nothing else planned…if they can book the room for that day we can get our $250 back, but if they don’t we lose it. Does anyone think that I am too far in at this point to change my mind about the wedding and just go to the courthouse instead?
The more I think of all the things we have to do and decisions to make and all the money we will spend the more I just don’t want to do it… we planned to spend no more than $5,000 and while to most that’s not a lot of money we could so use that for other things that we need, like another bathroom in the house or to finish our basement. Also if we don’t spend that money on a wedding we just might be able to have a “nicer” honeymoon than we would if we had the wedding…. I am just so torn and my fiancé is fine with it either way. He wants me to do what I want and I don’t know what I want? Some aspects of a wedding I like and some I don’t, some aspects of going to the courthouse appeal to me and some don’t…. How am I supposed to make this decision and quickly? Have any of you been in my spot and how did you decide?
Post # 3
I think its a hard decision but we all got to that stage in planning where going to the courthouse just sounds so much more appealing.
I say its probably not too late, but is that what you really want? Will you regret it later on? A wedding is much more memorable in 20 years than a new basement or bathroom.
I think there are a lot of things you mentioned that you could cut back on. Things like ring bearer pillows, toasting flutes, etc are all realtively cheap projects but do add up in the end. Get a detailed budget of where you want your money to go and stick to it. Maybe see if you can pull this wedding off for $4,000 and that gives you some money left over for a honeymoon and some new bathroom decorations.
Post # 4
If I was only going to loose $250 I would cancel my reception right now! We are getting married in the Bahamas with just 8 people and I wouldnt change that but we are also having a hometown reception and I wish I could cancel that!
Post # 5
Not everyone needs a traditional wedding. I would have been fine with eloping if my fiance hadn’t wanted to have ALL of his family there.
I really believe that it’s more important to work on a marriage, instead of a wedding.
Post # 6
Here’s what I thought about weddings before I had one: I thought they were a waste of money. We had one because my hubby wanted one, so I planned and DIYd and found this website. When the actual day came, I was so excited and I loved every minute. Yes, it was stressful, not perfect, tears, and we could’ve used the money for something else, but I loved that day and I loved marrying my hubby in front of so many people who love us.
Do what you want, but I truly believe you can have a gorgeous wedding cheaply which you will love. However, going the simpler route can be extremely special too. I’ve seen pictures of beautiful courthouse weddings.
Post # 7
I second caszos–we have ALL wanted to just scrap it and run to the courthouse. In fact, I’m sure that I put up a post exactly like this several months ago. I can tell you that at this point, I’m glad that we didn’t, though I am relieved that it’s almost over. If the big wedding isn’t what you WANT, that’s different, but if you’re just feeling stressed and overwhelmed, I wouldn’t necessarily run off just to get it over with.
Post # 8
I wavered a LOT on skipping the wedding and going to the court house, or eloping somewhere. In a lot of ways, I think it would have been just fine to do that. I ended up sticking it out and going through with the wedding, but we did an awesome wedding on a severe budget (3k). We had a lot of family and friends help, and the different wedding events (shower, rehersal, wedding) were all really great.
There are a lot of things we could have done with the time and money spent on the wedding. However, it meant so much to our family that we had the wedding and shared the day with everyone. Before you decide to cancel, think about your family and friends and what it means to them.
In our case, if we couldn’t have done the wedding on our budget, we wouldn’t have had the wedding, or would have gone much smaller 25-30 ppl instead of 125. While a wedding is a great event to share with friends and family and to really celebrate, to me it’s not worth spending more money than we did. Even if someone had given us 30k to spend on our wedding or not use at all, I wouldn’t have changed it.
Post # 9
If I thought I would regret it later, I would stick with the plan. If I KNEW I wouldn’t have any regrets…I wouldn’t hesitate to cancel the whole thing and head to the courthouse. It’s just about what decision you can live with.
Post # 10
Sometimes I think of the money we’ve spent and I cry a little, but then I also think of this: how often do you get to throw a party like that and would I regret it in 20 years if we didn’t have one?
If the answers are “as often as I’d like” and “No”, then just go to the courthouse. But if you think you might regret it, stick with it and do it all on your terms.
Post # 11
Looks as though it’s pretty split down the middle.. I can’t decide how I will feel about this years down the road? I do feel as though I might only be having a actual wedding because I am afraid not too. I don’t want to regret it if I don’t, but then again I might regret that I had one too. I just want to marry the love of my life, I don’t care how or where, I just want to be his wife. Why does this have to be so difficult?
Post # 12
It’s not too late to do the courthouse thing. Save your sanity! If it’s something you think you might regret then a good compromise might be to have a vow renewal ceremony a year later or on your 5th anniversay.
Post # 13
$250 is nothing, I say you can definitely change your mind! I’m actually really surprised that most people think you are too far in! We had wayyyyyy more to put down in deposits that we would have lost (like, almost $10,000) by the time we were in your shoes. THAT is too far in to turn back. But you? You’ve got the leeway to change your mind 🙂