am i invited or not?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
6518 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

sounds like you are not invited.

engeged couples are a unit and  should be invited together.

either your FI can call the groom and ask if it was an oversite or decline the invitation.


Post # 4
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m sorry to say I do not think you are invited. 

Post # 5
2179 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

Your FI needs to clear this up with his bestfriend and explain that you guys are engaged and live together and therefore are a package deal, if you aren’t invited he will be declining all invites.

This is super rude of his bestfriend and FI.

Post # 6
4576 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I would expect my BF/FI/DH to decline the invitation.

And did you say the shower is being held at your FI ex girlfriends house? So you have bad blood with the bride AND a relative of hers? There’s no way we’d be going to that, sounds like an awkward situation waiting to happen.

Post # 7
7298 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Sounds like only your FI was invited. I’d have him call his so called “best friend” and ask what the deal is. My man would not be going without me.

Post # 8
689 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Legare Waring House

This happened to me, in the opposite direction. I am friends with the groom, and I was chatting with him one day and said, oh hey…is FI invited? He said yes. So I had gotten upset over nothing.

Take it from my mistake, and ask questions first, get upset later!

Post # 10
409 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

You were not invited. Your FI should call his friend and tell him that he will be declining any invitiations to wedding events (or the wedding itself) that you are also not invited to.

Post # 13
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Wow, that’s rude! Your FI needs to tell his friend that either you’re both invited, or neither will be attending. You’re engaged and living together, that clearly means you’re a packaged deal, even for couples trying to limit +1s.

Post # 14
689 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Legare Waring House

@labride15:  Gotcha, seems like they either don’t know how to address invitations…or I don’t know. 

Post # 15
466 posts
Helper bee

Honestly, it could be an oversight.  He could just be listed on the guest list incorrectly.  I know when I was planning a surprise bridal shower, I accidently did not invite a bridesmaid, but I DID invite a male guest to an all female shower.  Luckily, the male guest figured it out.  I didn’t realize I had neglected to invite a BM until the day of the shower.  I called her in person to apologize and ask her to come.  I felt totally guilty.  

With a large guestlist sometimes mistakes happen.

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