Post # 1
…should I just slap him!!!!!!!!!!!!
A single woman on one income, I have had to be…economy minded…when it came to shopping for the baby. 90% of her clothing came from thrift stores and second hand shops (thanks Once Upon A Child) the rest was clearance, given to me, or bought for her via the baby shower or christmas. All of the things that I have (bouncer, pack n play, bassinet, stroller, etc) is all second hand, nothing is brand new. I do still plan on getting some things new like the bottles, nipples, pacifiers, etc (obviously).
So why is the baby daddy saying I am going overboard by wanting to use one specific type of bottle and/or one type of pacifier. I have done some research and found them to be highly recommended and used, and he said “you are not thinking logically and you’re not thinking things through, its a waste of money to use one brand of anything”…
Huh? Excuse me? How is that not thinking things through? If my baby is really collic-y or gassy, how do I know which bottle or product caused it, if at all? If something comes highly recommended, wouldnt that make it a little more easier to find what works best?
Post # 3
I think you are making all of the best decisions you can! You are doing a great job and are going to be a wonderful mom. I say ignore him!
Post # 4
Not a parent but in my daycare experience every single infant (out of probably 100 I dealt with) ALL used the only one type of bottle. Furthermore I know my baby cousin only uses one type and refuses to drink out of others. Also you can’t just go switching things on a baby they won’t have that. All the infants/toddlers knew “their” pacificer. Ignore that guy.
Post # 5
@MrsH1010: he is a whackadoodle. Totally agree with you. My daughter would not let us “switch” on her. She didn’t use the pacifier for very long but she KNEW if I tried a new one.
Post # 6
Wow! He’s being a bit crazy (not that that’s anything new!)
My friends daughter will only take 1 kind of pacifier and only in the 0-3 month size (she’s almost a year now). She immediately spits out anything else.
Post # 7
See! I knew I wasnt being sensitive! My mom told me that I would only ever use on type of pacifier and that I refused to use any others! I dont think he knows and he is going to be very upset when he finds out I went “over his head” on this one! I still felt so crazy when he told me I was going overboard and that I was cutting him out of decisions because I was being stubborn.
Post # 8
My advice is to not go decision by decision with him. Hopefully he will agree with an amount he will contribute, or a range, and you can ask if for some reason the baby needs more. You don’t want to be questioned on every little purchase. There are so many ‘right’ answers, it will wear on you to go through this every time there is a money decision to be made, especially the ‘small’ stuff. You don’t want his mood about his financial state (which will likely be in flux day to day) to affect your confidence in making decisions for your baby based on research and mommy-know-how.
You may have to use a baby calculator to convince him of reasonable costs (babyzone or babycenter has a good one) or show him a spreadsheet of what you already have and how much you saved by going second hand, so he knows you are being reasonable and using your money savvy skills when deciding what is the best. OH, and if you go that route, better hold back on the slapping, since YOU ARE the reasonable one.
Post # 9
@MrsH1010:I am so glad the baby has a wonderful mommy. Daddy’s are great too but sometimes they don’t understand. Ignore him.
Post # 10
To me it would be way more money to use a variety of bottles…..different liners, lids, nipples, etc.
At 3am do you want to make a bottle or do you want to spend 15 minutes trying to find all the parts that go with that one bottle. Interchangeable parts seems to be a lot easier.
Ignore him! You are a smart woman!
Post # 11
Oops, just saw this was a rant and not an advice request so disregard my previous post.
And I agree with PPosters. He needs to educate himself or open to learn from you if he wants to be included in the decisions or you will have to ignore all this questioning. 🙂
Post # 12
I think you are doing a great job! Getting secondhand baby stuff is an awesome idea and I hope I can find as many treasures as you have found. Ignore him. Unless he has hours of research backing up his claims, ignore him! You know what you are doing. He doesn’t.
Post # 13
You are doing great! Stick to what you know and other mom’s tell you. Not everything will be true for your child, but advice from other moms can really help you figure things out. Some babies will take any bottle, others won’t.
And really, there are few people who can’t be economically minded these days! DH and I have a registry since it’s our first and both families are throwing small showers, but it’s only got the essentials on it. We’re using a few awesome second hand baby stores to get the rest of our clothing and gear.
Post # 14
Ignore him! From the sounds of it you are doing everything right! More power to you 🙂 keep your head up!!!