- 4 years ago
- Wedding: June 2014
My roommate from college got married several years ago and I was her maid of honor. I was shocked that she asked me and that they were even getting married at all. He was her first boyfriend and they met, were engaged, and married within 6 months. They had a very simple wedding (ceremony only) and they were divorced in less than 2 years.
Here is the problem though. We were not what I would consider close but she has very few friends and I was pretty much her only option for maid of honor. This is because she is very socially awkward, anxious, and suffers from depression and suicidal thoughts. Being her friend is a full time job that most people cannot handle. Her problems become your problems. We do not see each other very often and rarely speak. Again, I do not consider her a close friend; but to her, we are.
Now that I’m getting married and choosing who will be in the bridal party, do readings, etc. I’ve received mixed advice on how to handle the situation. I just want to invite her as a guest. Some people say leave her out of it, she’s too toxic. Others have said that it’s terrible that I was her maid of honor and now I’m not including her in my wedding. I have very close friends and family members who are in the bridal party, doing readings, and being ushers. Her social anxiety would be a disaster if she were to do a reading and she cannot handle regular day to day adult responsibilities so being a bridesmaid would be a nightmare. I feel like asking her to be in the wedding would add a lot of extra stress to my plate. I’m also afraid that not including her will result in an emotional breakdown for her. So advice please, am I obligated to include her?