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I don't think so - if I were you, I'd pull the ones I didn't want to share. You have a really good reason!
OF COURSE NOT!!!!!
They are your photos - definitely pull the ones you don't like before handing them out!
Is there any way to touch up the photos so the cleavage looks a little less pronounced? Could you talk to the photographer or someone who knows something about photo programs?
I figure even if we don't have formal photos of all of us in a line, we could make a really nice photo collage of pictures where everyone looks great and that shows everyone from the family who was there.
On an aside, maybe I'm naive, but it would have been nice for someone to tell you you were on display.
I guess we could touch some up. And if it is that important to her, I will. But it seems unnecessary when there are enough good photos of everyone in all different combinations of people. Seems like a waste of time and money. I am done with the wedding! And as wonderful as it was I don't want to dwell on it and spend more time and money on it! There are enough great photos and memories to go around!
Photoshop that dress back up! even if your photographer just fixes one of those group shots and pulls the rest.
MissACS - no kidding. I was mortified when I saw the photos. But at the time, short of putting on a sweater, there wasn't much I could have done, so maybe people just didn't want to stress me out.
I think I am going to make that a directive to the photographer. "Feel free to tell me my make up is screwed up, my hair is a mess, my jello arms are on display or I am full on or quasi flashing people..."
I'd pull them and just tell her "these are the ones that you can pick from". Period. End of story.
That is what I am going to do, I think. I just have a sneaking suspicion this will not go very well.
Pull out the pictures that you don't like and let her pick from the rest. You have every right not to want prints made of the ones that you find embarrasing. Talk to your photographer about what he/she can edit. Some people are really into the formal shots with everyone in them.
When we metioned my little problem to the photographer, he indicated that he either cannot or does not want to do anything. He doesn't think anything is wrong with them.
I would talk to the photographer or company and see if they can edit it like suggested above or else I would just pull the pictures you do not want. You have a VERY good reason to pull the pictures and hopefully your MIL will understand (if she even has to know)
I definitely don't think you're obligated to show all of the photos, especially the more revealing ones. It's too bad your photographer wasn't more flexible when you talked to him about it. You'd think he'd be willing to pull them for you from the proofs.
Grrr photographer. Pull them (but don't delete, you never know if they'll grow on you). If your IL keep pester you can always find someone to touch them up.
Do you own the rights to your photos? If you do, I would just take out the photos you don't like for now and let your MIL choose from them. Then, find someone else who can edit them for you and give some of the formal shots to your MIL as a gift for Christmas or order a book from somewhere else for her after they are edited.
I think it's totally within your rights to pull out ones that you'd feel uncomfortable being displayed in a house or given out to people. Maybe it's harsh, but if she doesn't like it, tough. It's fair for you to deny access to photos that you feel look too revealing.
You definitely don't have to share them all with her. Just give her the proofs where you're comfortable with your dress' positioning (oy) and tell her that those are the ones that are available. If it doesn't go over well, don't cave! You have a right not to have photos printed of you where you're uncomfortable with what your dress is showing.
If the photographer isn't willing to fix them (Boo!) I'd say just let her pick from the ones you offer... pull out whatever you don't like.
I posted another thread about photos and my mother-in-law. She is already upset that we didn't get a formal photo of her entire extended family and is going to hire a professional photographer to come on Christmas to get the photos we didn't get at the wedding. I feel like telling her that she won't have a photo of me and my husband with his parents from the wedding is going to really upset her, even if I explain why.
Reading this last post from you makes me change my mind. It does sound like she is going way overboard. If she want all these formal shots and they do not exist, then, yes, she can arrange for them to be taken during a holiday or family reunion (that she can host:-))
Well, the family photo of me, my fiance, and his parents does exist. Only problem is that it is me, my fiance, his parents, and my boobs.
Well, my point was, that she doesn't know that it exists, right? There are a lot of things that you will not tell MIL about and this will just be one of them.
BUT she doesn't know if the photog screwed something up on those shots. I'd still just pull what you don't like. She can always hire someone to retake family photos.
Can't you just tell her that the shot didn't come out? Not every photo a phtographer takes turns out. That's why they have certan caluses in their contracts. I know that this would be making your photog look bad, but under the circumstances, it might be the best option.
Just get them touched up - you probably can get it done super cheap from someone on etsy or somewhere, just send them the file and they'll send it back and then no lies or fighting or headache if she's going to keep pestering and really wants the photo
She e-mailed me wondering when she would get to look at the pro pics and specifically mentioned wanting to see certain portraits and that she wanted to be able to choose for herself which ones to order. I responded and told her I am pulling out the boob shots and that some portraits might get tossed. I'd rather be honest than try to convince her that an otherwise decent photographer managed to screw up the occassional formal photo here and there.
If she really wants a certain photo, I will very reluctantly look into photoshopping a few.
I just hate dealing with this stuff.
We have been e-mailing back and forth and she is super understanding. I guess I panicked over nothing.
But thanks for the feedback. Knowing I wasn't being totally unreasonable about wanting to keep my boobs out of the photos made it easier to tell her some of the photos were being tossed.
Thanks!
Hi! I've been reading through some posts on here to get back into a "bride" frame of mind (so much has changed, even in five years!).
I'm fairly handy with Photoshop. Do you have the hi-res files? I'd be glad to do one for you at no cost. I just feel so bad for you--you shouldn't have to hide your wedding pics! (And this speaks to me--my high school senior picture STILL drives me nuts because the photog didn't bother to tell me to hike up my dress!)
If you have a number of them, I could negotiate something with you.... But I'd gladly do one for you just so you can have *something*!
Please let me know if I can help.
Best,
Alicia
Wow! What a generous offer! I am going to go home and dig through them and see if I can scrape up enough photos, but I will e-mail you if we really need to make more of them work.
That is really kind. This place is amazing.
Honestly, it's my pleasure. It really might be because I cringe every time I see that picture on my parent's mantel. WAY too much cleavage for my folks' family room!
If you have one that you love *except* for the dress issue, please do send it along and I'll do my best.
Erm NO! You're totally justified in your feelings about these photos. Can you maybe say there was a problem with some of them when they were getting developed, and get the photographer to remove them from any web based albums?
Or you could look into photo shopping them with @alicia :-)
I know how you feel though, my FI's family are really snap happy at parties etc, and it annoys the living p**s out of me, because every time I turn on the computer and log onto facebook there's a wonderful shot of my double chin and boobs practically hanging out posted, not just the one I might add!
while you have an EXTREMELY valid reason for not wanting her to see them, consider her position...as well as how much she contributed to the wedding budget. you are definitely not in the wrong, but just try to see it from her side?
I think for the sake of your relationship w/ the hubs and his mom, it might be worth giving in on *one or two* of these kinds of photos, but asking her to display them at her discretion (e.g. not on the mantle over the fireplace).
If anyone else asks for them, I'd politely decline & tell them that you didn't do a lot of formal shots - you can always blame it on the photojournalism trend in wedding photography these days :)
If it were me, easy option, i would pull them. But if that means that you'd have NO shots of some "groups" of the family, I actually might even ask the photographer to digitally edit them. Not sure what kind of photographer you went with, but most these days should be able to touch them up so that it looks more modest (i am a photographer myself, but do not do weddings).
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My wedding was wonderful. But my dress didn't hold up (literally) as well as I would have liked. My photos are embarassingly revealing. Frankly, I look like I am literally falling out in some of them. My mother-in-law wants access to all the professional proofs so she can choose the ones she wants. I want to pull some out first because I don't want to pass around photos of my boobs that could end up in frames or on websites. Unfortunately, some of the group shots are the worst. I am completely on display.
Do I have discretion to toss those aside even if it means we are going to lose some of the family shots? It's bad enough that they were out for all to see at the wedding. Am I unjustified for not wanting to immortalize myself that way in photos forever?