Post # 1
ok so lets put the stupid out there first, this has to do with Facebook. I know I know I know…..He barely uses his fb. he goes on simply to keep in touch with his friends and family back home as he is not from the city we currently live in. There have been a few instances where these two girls in particular have posted stuff that TO ME were very inapporpriate. Ever hear of bad juju? I get that from the one girl in particular. I have never met her but from the first time I saw one of her stupid posts on his page I just got bad vibes. Turns out she’s an ex of his. her post said “will you be the love of my life forever and everrr?! haha” . he never responded and when I got upset he agreed it was inappropriate coming from an ex especially. He ended up deleting her posts. The other girl is supposedly a good friend of his that he’s known since high school who is engaged. I dont get the same vibes from her but as of last night I cant help but feel annoyed all over again at the both of these girls (btw I only gave the one example of how the ex’s posts sounded there were many more, all deleted by him once i expressed my anger). the other girl, not the ex, went on his facebook and said “i love you! im so ready for you to come home! oh and me and brit decided you are going to *insert location i cant remember* lol” …ok so brit is his ex. I immediately felt like her posting that was done on purpose to see if he would remove it because he removed all of brits posts. it was like she was purposely mentioning her name. He thinks fb is stupid which, lets face it, it is. but if its so stupid why not just avoid the issues between us and delete stuff that he knows is going to get under my skin. I guess what it boils down to is this, I trust him, I dont think he’s up to anything and I think those girls are just being girls and trying to be irritating, however, knowing that this sort of thing bothers me so much why wouldnt he just remove it? why do i have to mention it every time it happens and get upset for him to even acknowledge it? And lastly, he still hasnt removed that last post. This for some reason really really is just bothering me and I can’t shake it. I dont know what im asking for here exactly. Maybe just some comforting words? advice on how to approach this better without looking like a psycho? ( i swear in general im the least jealous person and he knows it but this particular thing with these particular girls just drives me nuts) Or maybe help talk me down from the ledge so I dont create unnecessary problems. Im trying really hard to just say screw it and move on but its just eating away at me. so stupid i know ……..
Post # 3
Is sounds like you might be being baited. Like the older brother that keeps teasing the younger sister, its best to ignore and eventually they will lose interest.
I would ask him to just ignore any posts in the future. Do not respond to them at all or delete. Even deleting is a reaction/response. They will get tired of writing him if they get no response (even if no harm is meant) and if it is meant to be annoying, they wont get the reaction they want and will stop.
Post # 4
@lefeymw: I agree. Even though I know it’s so hard to just let them continue. Hopefully they will quit the petty BS once they stop getting a reaction. Sorry hun 🙁
Post # 5
if i were you i would be irratated too – it just seems like theyre really juvenile and like theyre trying to make you look crazy – that theyre just being “friendly” and you come off as the lunatic who freaks out when they post
totally agree with @lefeymw: i would tell him that it bothers you, ask him his feelings on it, and then try to ignore it – i hate to say it but the more he deletes what they say, the more theyre going to post to try to get to you
just remember – he loves you, and thats what’s getting to them 😉
Post # 6
@lefeymw: I totally agree with the OP being baited!
@stardustintheeyes: Do you have a FB page? I’m thinking you do since you can see his wall (unless you’re logging in as him). I would comment on her post and just say, “I know…isn’t he great? Can’t wait to meet you both!” Kill em with kindness and let them know that they aren’t getting under your skin, but you’re keeping an eye on them. Fight fire with fire girl!
Post # 7
Ugh! I feel the same way when FI’s exes facebook him. I just try and not let it get to me (even though simetimes it does!). These girls are just looking for attention. Hopefully when your boy doesn’t give it to them, the girls will look for attention elsewhere.
Post # 8
Facebook is the devil. I am obsessed. It’s not healthy though.
My ex just put his relationship status on Facebook (mind you, we ended our engagement and 5-year relationship just months ago), and it left me feeling bitter, even though I know they have been dating for a few months now.
I agree with PP, try to ignore as much as possible. Discuss your concerns with your SO. Even though he thinks FB is stupid (which it is), it means something to you, and it is offensive to you and your relationship. I think you just ignore and don’t give them (the girls) the power. Block their posts from your FB account if you can, so you don’t see them.
Post # 9
I truly do feel like im being “baited”. I think thats why this last one really got to me. I feel almost like its a test that the two of them thought of to see if he would delete her post too or if he was just going to delete brit’s posts (the ex). I feel like they sat on the phone like “ok you post something and see if he deletes it”. Its just so stupid and I have already wasted like way too many brain cells on this situation lol but ugh!!!!! girls just suck sometimes. I go on his page and leave him sweet messages and he does the same on mine but these two just wont leave it alone. And yes its very petty and immature of them to do that if they are in fact just doing it to get to me.
Post # 10
@2PeasinaPod: love your idea! killing with kindess usually always works
it really really irks me when girls do that – i have no respect for women (or men) who attempt to stir up trouble when they know someone is in a relationship. its just disrespectful and trashy.
It seems FI has a good handle on it though – be happy he isnt involving himself in it.
Post # 11
FI and I don’t have facebook and this is partly the reason. You can not control what people will say on your page, therefore you can not prevent your SO’s feelings from getting hurt.
With that being said, I would agree with the other people that have posted, just ignore these girls. Silence is the killer, and this will die out!!
Post # 12
@snugglesKD….yes facebook is evil. And I too am obsessed. Its really embarrassing how often I am on facebook. And im a total creeper. I log in just to go and do a once over on his page to see what nonsense they post. its ridiculous because other than me they are the only people to post stuff on his page! except maybe stuff like his buddies from work putting little things here and there. Oh and I feel that pain with the ex putting his status up. its so dumb but its like a stab in the heart to see that. Facebook lets you see and know things that otherwise you wouldnt and it puts it like all in your face. so evil lol
Post # 13
They are being very immature and looking for (and wanting) him to delete their posts. They want that reaction from you. Think of how irritated they will be if you ignore it!!! I think that is the best revenge. They will get bored with it, or even feel foolish for trying to upset you.
Post # 14
I just put something like “Cant wait to see you later after work, its only been x amount of time and I already miss you!” or “im so lucky to have you” or “why are you so good to me? im the luckiest girl ever :)” . Its not directed at them so I dont give them any kind of attention but I know if i were in thier shoes it would kill me to see that. And the BF just couldnt care less about facebook so i know hes like wtf!!!!! evertime I have a meltdown over it.
Post # 15
Do you know these girls? Have you met them before?
You guys are all much nicer than I. This kind of stunt, imo, should result in your S.O blocking them on FB or at the very least, deleting them as friends. I am sure that he is keenly aware they are posting that stuff just to be B*tchy.
When my FH changed his FB status to ‘in a relationship’ after we’d been together for a bit, a girl who he’d had a casual fling with about 8 months prior to meeting me, commented on the status and said “I’m so happy for you”. I didn’t really care but he thought it was stupid and deleted it and her. (he thinks FB is geigh and only goes on for the same reasons your SO does)
Post # 16
@oneeleven…No I dont know them personally. They are from his hometown. he has only been in chicago for a few years. he goes home every now and then and has invited me before but its not happened yet due to things out of our control. The first time he invited me it fell on a weekend that i had my son (he goes with his dad every other weekend) the second time I was planning on going and two days before we were supposed to leave his grandfather died and we didnt feel like a funeral was the proper place for me to meet his family. since then he has only been home for xmas and I spent it with my family and he with his (we havent blended holidays yet, this was our first holiday season as a couple). he makes it clear to me that I am the one he wants and that I can post and say whatever i want when I want on his fb. Its not hidden that we are together. So I hate to give these girls so much attention.