(Closed) Am I over-reacting??

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2091 posts
Buzzing bee

I think you’re overreacting just a little bit… I mean, at this point your wedding will be over. That sort of makes the farewell breakfast more about the family and you and your husband all together as a whole, rather than just you and your husband. Personally what I would do is let her do the cake and speech, but save it for the very end so it’s not like the whole party becomes about her. After cake and the birthday speech, have someone bring the attention back to you for the big farewell.

If you’re uncomfortable with it, that’s totally fine though! It is your event that you’re paying for afterall.

Post # 4
Member
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Honestly? Yeah… you’re overreacting a bit. It’s cake and a little toast. It’s not going to harm anyone, and it’s going to make the Great-Aunt feel really special and loved. And she’s 90!!! That’s a big milestone! Let her have her cake and eat it too 🙂 You will have had your day. The breakfast isn’t anything formal, and it would really be appreciated by his family. Besides – if you say no, it’ll make you look like a big brat.

Post # 5
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I 100% agree with Gingersnap.  

Post # 6
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

You’re overreacting quite a bit. It’s a huge family deal can’t you spare 15 mintues of attention? To me that sounds quite nice actaully.

Post # 7
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

IMO, you’re overreacting. The wedding is what celebrates the wedding.  I think it’s kind of self-absorbed to deny the family a chance to honor a 90-year-old relative’s birthday when they wouldn’t otherwise get the chance.

Post # 8
Member
3525 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Definitely overreacting.

Post # 9
Member
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1999

Yep, you’re over-reacting and being a bit self-indulgent.  I think a 90th b.day is a HUGE milestone and deserves to be recognized.  When else would they do it?  Have a separate gathering?  At the rehearsal dinner?  At the reception?  I think recognition of her b.day at the breakfast would be most appropriate and a kind gesture as well.   

Post # 10
Member
2550 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Ok, 90 is a definite milestone so I would allow it.  Maybe my feelings are due to my Grandmother being the same age and she’s my only leaving grandparent. 

I personally would have your FI announce to the whole group after breakfast has already started that a milestone by his great Aunt.  Give everyone a chance to celebrate such a milestone.  I wouldn’t let her daughter speak because its not the time.  The family can celebrate fully on another occasion.

BTW- Since my Grandmother is the eldest @ my wedding, she’s going to Bless our wedding.  I cry just thinking about it:)

 

Post # 11
Member
6824 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Yeah you are overreacting.  Geez the woman is turning 90 for pete’s sake. I think you can let them celebrate her birthday along with your brunch

Post # 12
Member
550 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

 

@JrzyGurl: <–what she said 🙂

Post # 13
Member
528 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I again have to agree that it’s a bit of an over-reaction. If it were me I would absolutely allow it, welcome it even. The wedding is the day you celebrate your marriage, your wedding breakfast is that too, but also a chance to spend some more time with family. What a lovely opportunity to honour a member of your new family at such an impressive milestone in her life. I really don’t see the harm and if your fiance has no problem with it, I think you should allow it. I think it will top off your wedding nicely! Of course, we are all different, this is just my opinion and I’m sure plenty would agree with your reaction aswell.

Post # 14
Member
746 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@squeak35:

Agreed. I wouldn’t let the daughter speak and would get the cake toward the end of the brunch so the people interested can gather at the same time, but beside that, I wouldn’t see why the great aunt wouldn’t get her minute of glory. You only get one day, unfortunately…

Post # 15
Member
241 posts
Helper bee

I sort of understand being taken aback by someone asking if they can do a little celebration at your event but I think considering it’s the morning after breakfast and she is 90, it would be ok BUT I would ask them to hold off a little and not do it right at the start so it becomes a part of the breakfast and not the entire reason for it.

Post # 16
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

To be honest, i also think you’re over-reacting. Your wedding will be finished, its not as if they’re asking to make the announcement during your wedding speeches. I think it sounds super sweet to honour her in this way, regardless of whether or not you know her, she is a part of the family you will have just married into – what better way is there of celebrating joining this family then including your new great aunt in your post wedding celebration?!

If you’re scared it will become her party why not, as Gingersnap said, make the announcement at the end.

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