Post # 1
so long story short
I work for a financial insitiuion & today i had a man call that had a joint account with his wife. long story short they are in the process of a divorce and she went crazy and spent all the money in there joint bank account & credit card. It was heart-breaking.
when i told my fiance this and told him that myself & co-worker were talking about it and how my fiance & i have had the discussion that if anything should happen we would take whats ours and part ways(not that anything will ever happen like that). I told my co-worker i could never do that to my fiance no matter the circumstance.
When i told my fiance this, his response was” thats what you say now…”
i was speechless, it was so hurtful that he would even THINK i would do that to him if we were ever in that situation (we`ve been together for 6 years have a mortgage and everything joint!!!)
am i over-reacting? my feelings are really hurt but he says i take everything too seriously so i didnt tell him this
Post # 3
A little bit yeah. I can see how it would be hurtful, but if he’s jaded or has seen nasty divorces then I don’t think it was meant to be hurtful. Pretty much everyone who’s been divorced was at one point madly, head over heels, I would NEVER hurt you, in love with that person. And then things happen, and some people turn nasty for whatever reason.
Also, remember you’re only hearing one side. That guy could have beat the daylights out of his wife any chance he got, so she took the money and ran. You just never know.
I wouldn’t read much into it. But I am sorry that it hurt you.
Post # 4
Thanks for your response, i hate that im so sensitive!! && your absoutely right that man could have done things to his wife to make her do that. But im happy to know im just over-reacting LOL
Post # 5
@ashley050406: Yes you are over reacting.
I bet that guy and his ex-wife, never thought on their wedding day, that one of them would flip out and take all their money. No one thinks that when they get married, or why would they marry that person?
Post # 6
Yup! Don’t worry about it. If you all are worried about finances, consider signing a pre-nup?
Post # 7
Yes. Because you don’t know what that womans dear husband did to perhaps deserve such a “payback”.
I mean let’s be real… if my husband after years of being a seemingly good wife… and he ups and cheats on me for years on end, partying out with the friends, living what seems to be the goodlife while I’m at home being the good wife and taking care of the children. Would I attempt to make him pay? Yeah, probably… as some would say “karma’s a bitch”. So I’m going to just have to say don’t dwell on what he said.
If it’s “never gonna happen” why dwell on it?
Post # 8
What he said was insensitive, but try not to take it personally. I’d guess that the vast majority of people go into marriage thinking that if things ended, they would behave like grown ups. I’m sure that’s what my own parents thought, and over 25 years after their divorce, they still can’t have a civil conversation. Just remember that YOU are not those people, and just because they exist, doesn’t mean that you will become them.
A month or so before I got married my mom sent me an article that included a reference to divorce and I cried for a full day – then I reread the article a while later and saw that it was completely innocuous. I know where you’re coming from 🙂
Post # 9
Very few people “expect” when they are happily in love that they would ever do something like this. And usually they won’t. While they are in love.
There are many reasons I steer clear of matrimonial law, and people doing stuff like this is certainly one of the many. Certainly not all do, but there are enough who do.
Post # 11
Sometimes men say the first thing they’re thinking, and women take it personally and react in a sensitive way and the man barely even remembers what he said lol.. I underestand how that could hurt your feelings but I think he was probably more joking than anything. I wouldn’t let it get to you.
Post # 12
That’s why we did a pre-nup. I agree with your fiance.. yes that’s what you say now. I’ve seen too many divorces and they’re typically nasty… and not nice.. and people are hurt and want to hurt back.. and panic.. and want to look out for themselves…
Sadly it is what it is and statistics are not in our favor:(
Post # 13
your FI said exactly what i would have said. no one knows how we will really react in a bad situation in the future
example: you find out that your husband is not travelling for work but somewhere in the bahamas with his mistress spending your joint money at a 5 star hotel – my first reaction would be to transfer as much money as i can to protect myself