- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2016
Let me preface this with this is something that we ( fi and I) both do not know what to do, so we are turning to the bees for advice. This will be long so sorry. 🙁
FI and I have had this friend for YEARS. She has always been more than slightly inapropreate. I have never had a problem with her, until recently. I want to know if I an over reacting, or if i am in crazy ville- population me.
She has always made off color comments, which has made both myself and FI slightly uncomfortable, but we embraced it as one of her quirks. She has allways been “one of the guys”. She got married,had a baby and settled down a bit, little to nothing on the inappropreate scale.
Then she decides to tell her husband that she had cheated on him just before they got married. She did not tell him at this time who it was. She olny told him “a male friend”. He began to guess who it was and he guessed my Fi.
Now I know for a Fact that my Fi has NOTstrayed, ( he bacicly lives with me, and we work together and go to school together, I am very sure all is kosher in my world ) however, this bothers me because what has she said/ done to give her DH the impression that it was my FI that she dallied with. I mentioned my discomfort with this, but i also said that i did not want to put a wedge between him and his friend with my ( I felt ) irritional insecurity.
Now it turns out that it was another mutual friend that she cheated on her DH with. She was upfront with us about it, and while I do not approve, it is not my life.
Now She has begun her old tricks again, being overly inappropreate. Fi says that washe is just joking, since that is the way she is, however he does agree that some of the things she says does make him uncomfortable.
He does relate her texts to me, and does not hide them. The inappropreate joke texts have been becoming more and more frequent. Tonight were on our way home from class and she began texting him again. He asked me to respond since he was driving. I typed his responces and added a few of my own, keeping them as neutral as possible.
This caused me to have some issues with boundies and her lack of respect for them. I talked to Fi about it, and he does agree. He is willing to talk to her and tell her that we both find her joking inapropreate.
I talked to my mom and she told me that I am over reacting and that I am trying to control my Fi’s friendships. I don’t feel I am, I have no issue with opposite sex friends, but i do have issues with what i feel is disrespectful to not olny me, but my relationship with FI as well.
I want to know if I am over reacting or if my discomfort is warrented.
If so, FI would like to know what to say to her.
I have Fi’s permsision to post the conversation for you bees to read, so please tell us what you think.
This is a sample of the type of conversations that happen, with more and more frequency. Am I in crazy town for this bothering me? or am I over reacting?