Post # 1
I am just so upset now. I called my Fiance and asking him to go to the invitation printing vendor to proof read our invitation sample this Sat. He said this easy thing I can just do it myself. He said he does not need/want to go. He has other stuff to take care of. Yeah sure we are going to have lunch together with both our parents this Sat so I made the appointment at 11am. Lunch is at 11:45am or so. I told him we can all go to proofread the invitation before lunch. He seems annoyed and said I am self-center and acting childish. I was so frustrated and did not want to talk about it anymore.
So I hang up on him. This is the first time. Am I over-reacting? Am I too self-fish? I just want to do the proofread with him and not just go there by myself. He just DOES NO CARE and that pissed me off.
What do you guys think? 🙁
Post # 3
@LittleBruin: I think you should chill out. Guys don’t really care about stuff like invitations so just respect him and leave him out of the choices. Ask your Mom to proofread it! What is the big deal?
Post # 4
Guys care about different things and this may be something that he just doesn’t care about. I think you were over-reacting by hanging up on him. Maybe just ask him what things he would like some input on. My Fiance and I worked together on a theme and colors and then we split everything into 3 lists..one I do, one he does, and one we do together. We spend about an hour once a week to go over our progress and it has really helped.
Post # 5
He simply does not care about anything! Photog, ceremony venue, decor…you name it!
Post # 6
That’s the kind of thing guys just don’t get into … it’s like them asking us to go to the auto body shop with them. Uh, no thanks. So don’t be surprised by his reaction and know that it’s not personal.
Still, he should be more sensitive to your feelings, and certainly shouldn’t call you self-centered for it.
Next time, try to approach it differently: Don’t expect that he should want to go, and acknowledge that you’re asking him to do something *for you.*
“Honey, I know it’s not your favorite thing, but I would really love it if you would accompany me to proofread the invitations before meeting our parents for lunch. I promise it won’t be too painful; it will just take a couple of minutes and we’ll be out of there.” The trick is to acknowledge that you’re asking him to do something he doesn’t want to do…
Post # 7
Another vote for overreacting. Bottom line is you can’t force him to care. You can force him to grudgingly come along to various meetings, ect, but you can’t force him to care. Like someone said upthread, he cares about you so just make it like a favor to you, not something he “should” be doing. If it were up to him, he’d probably be fine with jumping in the car and heading to vegas, right?
Post # 8
Boys generally don’t care about wedding details and proof reading invites is one of the more tedious wedding tasks so I don’t blame him for not wanting to go.
Post # 9
My advice is to pick your battles. Do your best to get an opinion out of him on the bigger stuff, but leave him out of the details unless he expresses interest, especially when it comes to invites, which are pretty much a big yawn to every guy I know. I get that it’s good to have a second pair of eyes when proofreading, but it doesn’t have to be him.
And as much as I love all things stationery, I would be miffed if I had to make an appointment and go all the way to the printer’s just to proof my invites too. Our stationer scanned the proofs and emailed them to me instead of making me come see her.
Post # 10
I can understand why you’re fustrated. I feel like I try to make things as EASY as possible for him, like you did by just making it a quick stop before lunch, but Fiance still complains about having to go. I get it… they don’t care as much, and really DONT want to go no matter how easy you make it for them. It’s just really fustrating that you want them to do this with you and make it easy, but they still whine about it. It shouldn’t be about whether or not you can do it yourself or if you can take your mother or someone else, its the fact that you WANT him to go with you and he just doesnt care to. Just call him back and talk to him about it….
Post # 11
His comments about you bing selfish and childish are not helpful. I can understand why that upset you. Not wanting to proofread the invitations is totally normal, and I think you over reacted. This is probably going to happen a few more times in wedding planning. I had a total breakdown in a crowded restaurant because my Fiance said he would rather have open seating at the rehearsal dinner instead of assigned seating. I cried for 2 hours about how he didn’t care, was unhelpful, blah blah blah. This is a stressful time. You need to explain to him that while you may have over reacted, his unkind words are going to always make things worse
Post # 12
If my Fiance didn’t want to help out with any wedding stuff and then called me self-centered for asking him to do one little thing with me then I would probably hang up on his ass, too. It sounds like he’s not interested in any of the details so maybe your frustrations over that have been building up. I don’t think you really overreacted all that much. It sounds like he was a jerk about it. Sure, maybe guys don’t “care” about the details all that much but it is still his wedding and he shouldn’t just leave it all up to you, especially if you’re asking for his input.
Post # 13
Most guys don’t know or care about anything related to wedding planning. Chill out, pick your battles and don’t make everything an ordeal. Casually run things by him when he’s in a good mood.
Post # 14
I think hanging up on him is a little much, but I understand why you’re upset. My Fiance wants very little to do with the wedding planning and gives me a hard time when I’m blatantly asking for help. There are some things I want his opinion on and decisions I just don’t want to make myself (it was seriously challenging getting him to interview DJ’s with me!) but he doesn’t get it. I have plenty of things I’m already taking care of on my own, I wish he wouldn’t freak out when I ask him to come to an appointment or make a quick phone call for me. Men are a pain in the rear!
Post # 15
I dont really dont think he has to proof read it with you. Guys dont care about that stuff at all.
Post # 16
We are going to the vendor to see the actual printouts. She made one sample for us. I have already proofread the wording via her scanned images already. Maybe I am being too detailed?
As far as my frustration, it did build up over the past few months. At first I gave him some tasks to do. Then when I told him what to do, he complains that there are too many questions I want to ask the vendors, so he said might as well I do it by myself. Then I ask him to interview some photogs with me. (I really want a good photog so I interviewed a several) He complains if I am the one asking the questions and making the final decision, he said he feels he was wasting his time interviewing these photogs.
Basically his attitude is like I am asking too much for this wedding. He said his sister’s wedding is good enough- just married by the judge and have a simple reception. No need to have a prof. photog, no need to have a garden ceremony, no need to write own vows, no need to decorate the venue, no need to make a picture mountage vedio clip…etc. etc.
But I am NOT his sister!!!!