Am I over reacting? Or is my mom just crazy?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
3978 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@BakerBee16:  You gave her the keys. You told her to come get the eggrolls. I don’t think it’s a big deal here. You’re only giving her keys (I’m assuming) for this period that you’ll be away, it’s not like she’s going to be coming over on the daily. However, her reaction is a little intense. 

Post # 5
2355 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

This wouldn’t be a big deal to me. You invited her over to get the eggrolls. She’s your mother. I wouldn’t expect my mother to wait out in her car for me if I knew she was coming by – even if I meant for her to just pick something up and leave. Asking for the gas money back was also pretty petty on your part. I imagine she is pretty hurt at the moment.


Post # 6
2243 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

You gave her the keys & explicitly told her to come over. It sounds to me like you were sending mixed signals and your expectations aren’t so realistic. You’re overreacting…

Post # 7
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@BakerBee16:  To be honest… I probably wouldn’t have had an issue. If she had keys and could get inside, why would she sit outside and wait in her car? If it were me, I would rather she be comfortable rather than just sitting in a car waiting. It’s not like she was going through your stuff, or anything like that. No harm caused?

Also, I think texting her to ask for money back just aggravated the issue. Did you text it to her straight after she stormed out? Surely it could have waited?

I don’t know… perhaps I’m in the minority here! But I still have keys to my parent’s place and let myself in whenever they’re not home.

Post # 8
3633 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

That’s weird to me. DH’s family is super close and even for us, that would be weird. We’ve given our keys to FIL before to pick up stuff from our house but he literally picks up the stuff, maybe plays with our dogs for a few minutes (because they’re pushing him to play), and then he leaves. If they did want to lounge or use our pool, they would call us and ask us first as a courtesy. It’s weird to me that she literally made herself at home, down to lighting candles and watching TV, without telling you ahead of time.

Post # 9
22 posts
  • Wedding: April 2012

If my mom had a key to my apartment and I told her to come get something I would not expect her to wait in the car until I got home. my mom would have knocked first and when I didn’t answer she would just use the key. no biggie, but she probably would have called and said hey im at your place. but I agree that your moms reaction was probably a bit over the top considering the situation.

Post # 11
138 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

While her reaction was dramatic, I think that if you allow her to be in your home to check on your cats…. I don’t know why she couldn’t let herself in and wait for you. Was she supposed to wait in the car for you to get back? I have a VERY dramatic eggroll throwing mother so I totally feel your pain. While I don’t think she should have sped off like that, I really don’t think this should have been an issue to begin with.

Post # 12
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m on the fence, I think the feet up, candles lit, watching tv eating egg rolls thing is weird. However, as PP’s said you gave her the keys and told her to have at it. You also were being petty to ask for the gas money back just cause you were annoyed that she was in your apartment. And I do think she over reacted, that wasn’t really a mature way to handle the situation on both accounts.

Post # 14
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I would have no issue with my Mom coming inside, she’s my Mother I would never expect her to wait in the driveway in her car! I agree with everyone else, you gave her keys and invited her over to get egg rolls. I am sure she only thought you stepped out for a second (which you did) It wasn’t like she was going through your bedside table drawer (that would be invasion of privacy.) Think of it like this, would you be mad if your best friend did what your mother did? If not then you should defiantly apologies to your Mother. I am sure she didn’t do what she did maliciously and I am sure she is pretty embarrassed that you reacted that way.

Post # 15
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@xoCATox:  I still have keys to my parents’ house too and both my and FI’s parent’s have keys to our apartment.
@BakerBee16:  My mom is pretty emotional/volatile and I can imagine her doing something like this. I guess I just try to avoid it. You just have to remember she is your mom and loves you. I’m sure children (regardless of age) pull crap that annoy their parents too. It is remembering you love each other, and all put up with crazy once in a while, that keeps a family strong.


Post # 16
2474 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Sounds like it was just a misunderstanding. You gave her keys and said you had for for her. She misunderstood *when* the food was available to her and just went over, since that’s how you made it sound.

Both of you guys need to chill out. 

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