Am I over-reacting to friend's no-show at wedding?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
9949 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Did she know exactly when you got back?  Just text her and say, “Hey, can we catch up?  I’ve been thinking about you!  Hope everything’s okay.”

Post # 4
5905 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@KatieBklyn:  I would abstain from judgement until I actually heard what happened, I understand your feelings, but you honestly don’t know what was going on and until you do, making a decision or acting too harshly is a bad idea. 


Post # 5
42101 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Ditto with the pp.

Post # 6
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think it’s hard to know how peeved you should be without an explanation.  I agree it’s totally annoying she hasn’t given you one yet.  I had a few no-shows.  I wrote them out of my life, and never received an explanation.

Post # 7
2642 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Nona99:  I agree.

OP, I’d wait and hear what she has to say before you jump to any conclusions.  I’d definitely go ahead and reach out to her.  She might be waiting to contact you so you can unwind and things settle down.  I know I’d wait about a week after someone got back from their HM before contacting them.

Post # 8
1303 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I think all you can do is give her the benefit of the doubt until she can give you an explanation.  It could be something serious like a death in the family or maybe nothing at all (in which case, you have a right to be upset).  You could reach out to her and say hey I’m back from my honeymoon, when do you wanna grab dinner.

Post # 9
3948 posts
Honey bee

@KatieBklyn:  I wish I could be as understanding as the PP’s, but I would be pissed too.

Post # 10
6158 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

it sounds like she didn’t want to ruin your wedding and honeymoon with whatever bad thing happened to her.  and maybe she doesn’t know you are back. 

call her and ask her to get together.  she sounded like she was going to tell you the reason when you got together after your honeymoon.


Post # 11
480 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Yeah, I agree with the above.  Does she know you’re back?

peachacid‘s advice is good.

Post # 12
1168 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@KatieBklyn:  Definitely hear her out. Depending on how you are and handle things, you may want to wait to talk to her. I am someone who likes to get things off my chest right away BUTTTTT I do have a very hard letting go of negative feelings. So knowing myself I would wait till after the honeymoon to talk to her. But if you dont have a hard time letting go and resolving things then talk to her before. 




What she did is definitely not right. I dont care HOW bad of a day you are having- unless you are hurt/ill or someone died – there is no real excuse to miss a wedding. I dont even care if you got served with divorce papers, found out your spouse was cheating, lost your job….


TO ME!- missing a wedding (A ONCE IN A LIFE TIME EVENT) of a loved one is something you cant take back- you cant redo. She better have a damn good reason!


Post # 13
1625 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@KatieBklyn:  Text her and see if she can get together asap. Hear her out! 

Post # 15
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I would wait to hear her out… it could be something devastating to her that she doesn’t want to openly share on facebook. You said she’d been married for a few months, what if she had a miscarriage? That’s certainly something devastating enough to keep her from attending a wedding, but not something that she’d openly share with everyone she knew. I’d definitely reach out to her, and see what she says.

Post # 16
1468 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Maybe she’s waiting for you to reach out to her.  In the grand scheme of things her missing your wedding is not an earth shattering event.  You can’t control the actions or lives of others so even if in the end you determine her excuse is not a valid one for attending the wedding you have to decide if it’s worth losing a friend over.  In most cases the reasonable answer is probably no.

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