Am I overreacting?

posted 3 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
5460 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@alysee:  You could always host it yourself?  Or if it’s a budget issue for her, see about doing something cheaper like pasta and salads, pizza, or BBQ?

Post # 4
Member
5932 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@alysee:  Her reasoning is stupid, but sandwiches and fruit salad it is….you got your rehearsal….lunch.  I get the whole FMIL is a tool thing though….my MIL sucks so hard I’m surprised that people within a thirty foot radius of her don’t orgasm….its all part of the marriage contract, get some chocolate, take a bath and check that rehearsal meal off your list.

Post # 5
Member
2092 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@alysee:  Ah ya I think you are overreacting and you seem very entitled. Since she is offering to arrange and pay for the party I think you should be grateful for whatever she does. If you’re not happy with it then arrange it and pay for it yourself. Didn’t you say that all you cared about in the first place was that FMIL pay for it rather than you or your family?

Geez. She must think you are a lovely daughter-in-law to be.

Post # 6
Member
6510 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Why don’t you guys host it? I understand that her reasoning is stupid, but if you want a dinner then you should host it. Did your FMIL offer to host it or did you guys ask her?

Post # 7
Member
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@alysee:  Whoa. I agree that a rehearsal lunch is… odd, unless you’re having a morning rehearsal, but throwing a fit that someone else is not paying for as much for your party as you want is, yeah, overreacting. If you radiate the feelings about her you expressed here in person, it’s unlikely she’s thrilled to be around you, either.

Unless someone else has already offered to pay, don’t plan more than you can afford. If her sandwiches aren’t going to make you and your fiance happy, make up the difference yourselves.

Post # 9
Member
6510 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@alysee:  does everyone have Friday off so that they can make an afternoon rehearsal? That would be my biggest concern.

Post # 11
Member
2363 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@alysee:  Your MIL isn’t the one that sounds like a tool here. It’s never ok to ask someone what they plan on contributing to your party since any contribution is a gift and not obligatory. Since it sounds like your parents are hosting the bulk of the wedding it’s totally reasonable for you and your FI to pay for a rehearsal if you don’t like her proposed gift. So, yeah you’re overreacting. 

Post # 13
Member
2363 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@alysee: Well I still think it’s pretty hypocritical to call someone a tool when you asked them what they plan to host for your event (toolish behavior IMO), but I agree the reasoning/excuse behind it is silly. Maybe she doesn’t want to host a dinner and that was her way of getting out of it. 

Post # 15
Member
1689 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@alysee:  Ugh!  I wish I had this problem!

My FMIL wanted to invite 75 people out to a 5 star restaurant.  I kept arguing I’d prefer pizza at my house with the wedding party.  We compromised and now 30 people are going out to a family Italian restaurant (which is, to be honest, what I really wanted).

Good luck!

Post # 16
Member
2363 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@alysee: Ok, but it’s still rude to ask what she wants to do for the rehearsal dinner – regardless of how it is worded. Unless she offers to host it, it is your responsibility. What I’m saying has nothing to do with your relationship with your MIL although I do sympathize. If you think it’s her way of getting out of it then you really should host it yourself. 

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