(Closed) Am I overreacting?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1057 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Oh I’d be PISSED. FI did this to me when we first started dating but told me that he “wasn’t feeling well and was just going to go home.” One of his friends texted me asking if I was coming to the ball game too and I flipped out. I think they just want to look cool in front of their friends. 

Post # 5
Member
1057 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@MsJ26: A lot of people will tell you not to worry about the little things he says, but let me tell you that those little remarks are what make the big issues.

Post # 7
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Your not over reacting, i cant believe he was so snippy with you and HUNG UP, i hate it when people hang up on me. Its so rude.

Although i CAN see where he is coming from, as my DH and I have had the same conversation, he could have gone about it MUCH better!!

Hope you have a pleasant night anyways!

Post # 8
Member
1480 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I don’t think you’re overreacting. I’d be SO pissed!

Post # 9
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Ya I’d be pretty pissed. He definitely used the wrong choice of words. If he wants to go out because he really really really loves this team and there’s a free ticket, fine, whatever, but it’s not fair to belittle you and freak out and say mean things. He owes you a big apology. Big.

Post # 11
Member
739 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I think it’s pretty crappy to back out on plans with anyone, much less your fiance!  To treat you rudely on top of that is definitely frustrating!

Post # 12
Member
7779 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Um, I’d be LIVID. His ass would be grass when he got home.

Post # 14
Member
238 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

For sure I’d be hurt if he told me that! I agree that he definitely used the wrong words, sounds very selfish. I  trust my BF to be considerate of my feelings although I wouldn’t be upset if he wanted to go but I would expect him to first consider my feelings. Yeah, I’d probably let him go do his thing and hopefully find something to do -Barnes & Noble, watch wedding shows, etc. But I know he’d be appreciative and not act selfish about it.

Post # 15
Member
9057 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Ugh, not good.  My husband sometimes has difficulty understanding about ditching me too.  We get into fights that I sometimes feel like he only hangs out with me when he has nothing “better” to do.  We really got into it once, when he’d been talking about date night all week, and then made plans with his friend last minute and his rationale was “but I promised ‘Jeff’ I’d hang out with him and I can’t just ditch him”.  Right.  So, you can’t ditch your friend, but you can easily ditch your WIFE, who you had plans with first.

I would definitely discuss it with him later.  I see two main points here:  1) when he makes a plan to spend time with you, you look forward to it, and it’s disappointing when it doesn’t happen, 2) discuss what you consider to be “having plans”, vs everyday living together life.  I think it’s sometimes hard for them to differentiate…

Post # 16
Member
4355 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Sounds like a cop out comment (the – I don’t know if I can spend my life with someone who wont let me do spontaneous things) he felt guilty and turned it on you to feel better. That’s a jerk move and I’m sure he’d of loved if you called and said you were going clubbing with the girls instead. In the end, it’s inconsiderate and disrespectful and I would be upset too.

So no, you’re not overreacting. I would say you need to have a chat about it, but that goes without saying.

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