(Closed) Am I overreacting and being jealous?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
8316 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I don’t know- it doesn;t sound like you have anything to worry about from the way you describe your FI, which at the end of the day is the only thing you have to worry about. He didn’t hide it and the fact that he was having a conversation in space that you could easily walk into says a lot about the situation.

Maybe she is just one of those overly friendly people. I have a male friend (not a male gay friend) who kisses all the girls on the lips (not a pash but a quick kiss). First few times it freaked me out but that is just the way he is. I also have a male friend who is gay that does the same thing. I have another friend who is a flirt- she would do the same and call people things similar to stud muffin. Some people are just like that. My DH was concerned the first time he saw my male friend kiss me on the lips but when the next time we all went out and he proceeded to kiss every girl friend like that my DH went ok he does it to everyone!

Maybe ask your FI if she is like that with everyone?

Post # 4
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

i wouldnt be happy if another woman was calling my husband stud muffin and other sexy nicknames but i would be more upset with my husband for keeping the texts/communication going because that says hes enjoying the attention

same with him being oline in the middle of the night chatting with other women – its a very fine line he is wallking right now and i think an honest discussion about expectations and boundries is required

questioning his motives for keeping a person in his life who is disrespectful to your relationship doesnt make you a stalking snoopy woman in my book

Post # 5
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think you should go with what ever your gut says. If your feeling strongly that something is wrong then ask, but if it’s something that just “bothers” you then maybe ask that he just limits his contact with her to video games minus the conversation. It may be that she is pursuing him from a distance and he may be feeling flattered at the very least! I also agree 100% with what the pp said.

Post # 6
Member
1408 posts
Bumble bee

I think he is walking on a very fine line…

Post # 7
Member
4110 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

This would bother me too. I guess it depends on the context of his chat session with her, but it doesn’t sound like he’s done anything to make you doubt him. She, however, is being a dumb slut about the whole thing. I would ask him to cease communication with her & be done with it.

Post # 8
Member
3121 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

In the first circumstance, he responded very well to you.  You did something wrong (reading his texts) and he embraced you…what a great guy!  UNFORTUNATELY, in that moment you showed him that it made you uncomfortable and he didn’t respect that.  Midnight chat sessions with another woman are NOT ok with me.

I think you need to have a talk with him.  It’s not dictating who he talks to, it’s being open and honest and expressing your feelings.

Post # 9
Member
9631 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Sunflower–girl:  I agree with this. 

I’d be beyond pissed off because he is investing time in another woman.  He needs to stop.  If you play with fire sooner or later you’re gonna get burned.

And WTF – “You make me happy stud muffin.”   Are you kidding me?  I would want to know what the hell she meant by that – how exactly does he “make her happy?”

You’re a better woman than I am.  From the first text I would have asked him to put a stop to it right then, out of respect for your intimate relationship bond.

In my view, when people are in an exclusive love relationship it is up to each person to PROTECT the bond from inappropriate intrusion from outside people.  Having friends is one thing but it seems your FI and this woman are very close to crossing a line.

And also, the fact that she’s such a different “type” as you describe her, from you, is also concerning.  Is he attracted to her?

Post # 10
Member
4275 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Yeah that is not appropiate and it is very disrespectful on her end. I don’t call my male friends “stud muffin” or anything like that, even when I was single.  I think if something is bothering you, you need to speak up.

Also, how does he know her if you don’t mind me asking…. through the online video game?

Post # 11
Member
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think you have every right to be concerned. No other women should be calling him romantic or sexy names. He also should not be up until 4 am talking to another woman.This has been going on for 6 months.

Of course this is just my opinion, some others may disagree with me but I feel strongly that he has already crossed the line here.

I have many male friends and I never stay up talking to them all night long. That would be disrespectful to my husband and to my friend’s significant others. I would NEVER call them any pet names either.

Post # 12
Member
1089 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

It would bother me! It’s one thing if he was just talking to a girl but the nickname thing would make me very upset. Playing video games is harmless but the chat session at the early hours of the morning? I don’t know, maybe you should address it with him more direct. And like PP’s have said, go with your gut feeling! Good luck!

Post # 13
Member
609 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

“you make me happy stud muffin”? You’re good, I would have kicked his backside from here to Timbuktu

Post # 14
Member
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Not overreacting.  Midnight chat sessions and ego strokes from other women can lead to nowhere good.  I would definitely have a discussion.

He also gave you one of my pet peeve lines – “I’ll stop talking to her IF YOU WANT ME TO.”  I can’t stand that!  It’s like, you know that I’m uncomfortable with this “friendship” that (according to you) you can take or leave – so why are you asking me to police your behavior?  It essentially puts you in the position of having to choose between consenting to behavior that makes you uncomfortable (for good reason!) or feeling like you’re controlling him.  So unfair.

Post # 15
Member
9631 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@sportsgal31:   Great point!  He should never have gone there to start with – he should already know this.  He is engaged.

Post # 16
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@eloping:  I agree with you, it would bother me also x

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