- 9 years ago
I know I’m probably just in a bad mood but I’m in the mood to ask some of my bridesmaids to step down and just go without.
I’ve known all along that they didn’t have a ton of funds for a wedding, so I’ve tried to be accomodating. Originally I wanted to get married about 4 hours from home, but due to the travel costs (driving and hotel stay) we decided to stay in town. (Granted, this was for all guests, not just the bridal party). I found a very affordable dress ($110) and when I realized it was on sale for close to $50, bought it for all the girls. I thought I was being nice, but some of them are complaining that they don’t like it, even to the point of suggesting we buy new ones (they waited until after the 120 day return period was up to tell me this). Its a very pretty dress, from a department store, and something that (I know, I know) really could be worn again. And if not, its not like they had to pay for it. They could give it back and I’d wear it!
I’m buying the jewelry to go with the dress, and am planning on getting real gem stones – nothing crazy fancy, but probably $75 dollars or so, for earrings and a necklace. I showed what I was thinking of getting to one BM, and she kept complaining about how she’d never wear it, that I’m showing off that I can afford it, etc. I just want them to look nice! And this is very classic – pear stones, “normal” setting, not anything crazy. I thought the point was to give them something to wear the day of that they also might like, not for me to provide something my BM is going to want to wear every day for the rest of their lives.
The next thing is shoes – I found a pair of shoes that I wanted them all to wear for $35 – I emailed it to a few of the girls – and again, complaints about how they wouldn’t want to wear it again, and that it was too expensive! I thought $35 for silver, strippy strappy low heeled sandals was good! And again, they are fairly “classic” in style, something I swear I’ve seen these girls wear in black a dozen times.
I’m feel really hurt by all the complaints. I thought the point of accepting to be a BM was to be there for your friend, and that with that came the expectation of paying for some things – and they are not going to pay for anything. (I’m going to find another pair of shoes that they’ll hopefully agree on, and this time will just offer to pay for them to get that issue out of the way). They’ve already told me they are not throwing a shower or a bachelorette party, so at this point all that is really left is showing up, and I’m honestly waiting for someone to call and ask me to move the wedding date to accomodate them (ok I know I am being harsh there, but that is how I feel). I even started to bring up the idea of hair and make-up with the girl I am closest too and she interrupted me with “if you are going to require us to do it you better be paying for it”. I was about to say it was optional but could be added into my contract with the hairdresser, but after that outburst I just said fine, and dropped it.
Ok, I really needed to vent. Typing it all out it doesn’t seem that bad, but I feel like I am completely being walked all over. I’m scared these girls are going to have me miserable on my wedding day. I honestly want to ask them all to step down and go without, but I’m sure that would cause even more drama, not to mention I can’t return things, like the dresses.