(Closed) Am i overreacting? Upset with the in-laws…Please provide advice!

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

I think these are pretty small issus. They were there, they didn’t cause a big scene or dress up in  costumes. As far as the kids clothes go, who knows what happens that day, it taes about 3 seconds before my kids have a nice outfit dirty-usually on days when you don’t have time to change.

If their clothing was the worst part about your day, I would consider it a huge success.

Post # 4
Member
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think you’re overreacting quite a bit. While a white suit on a guy or a goth look on a girl might not be your tastes, there’s nothing at all inappropriate about them. And no one cares what shoes a 4-year-old wears, or if a toddler is in a T-shirt.

I’ve heard of women freaking out over another woman wearing white, but never ever heard it being taboo for a man. There is no way that a man in a white suit detracted one iota from the bride. I think your co-workers are pulling your leg.

Post # 7
Member
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Then you need to address their overall behavior and not nit-pick these tiny fashion details. You want them to respect you more, but by whining about a toddler in a t-shirt it makes you sound petty and actually works against you getting them to respect you.

Post # 8
Member
2702 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think you are way overreacting.  It really doesn’t matter what people wore to your wedding – what matters is that they were there.  Not dressing to your standards shouldn’t taint your wedding.

And honestly, none of these seem like a big deal.  Lots of people wear black to weddings so I don’t see why it’s a problem if your SIL did.  As far as her make-up, is her normal style Goth?  Maybe she just likes that style.  I also didn’t realize white suits were also off limits… As far as the children’s attire goes, it sounds like it was a fluke.  Maybe the mom had them dressed all nice but the kids got dirty just moments before the wedding and there was no time to change or she didn’t bring extra clothes.  Or maybe the older one was throwing a fit about fancy shoes and instead of risking a temper tantrum and possibly him refusing to walk down the aisle she gave in and let him wear his blue sandals.  Who knows. 

You really need to let this go though.  Just remember that the important part was that they came.  And I’m sure, in the future, you’ll look back and chuckle at little Jimmy’s cute blue sandals

Post # 9
Member
2622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@fishbone:  This. 

None of these are serious offenses or any offense if you ask me. Lots of people wear black to weddings. Your SIL may not wear makeup normally, but the makeup you wore may be her way of dressing up.

A kid is a kid. They may not have wanted (which I get) to spend money on nice shoes or maybe he insisted on those shoes and shirt. So be it.

Post # 10
Member
999 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

It’s just one of those things that we have no control of….I too just received my photos and many had one of my guests two daughters in the background…arrghh. Wish photographer noticed that, wish my guests watched her kids. Also we had one of our guests wear a white blazer, my husband didnt’ wear white, almost looked like he was the groom instead of guest. Oh well, we can’t control everything, I wouldn’t worry about it. It happens to all of us.

Post # 11
Member
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

 @moonprincesscl: “I think everything added up for me.. I just think in general their behavior is really rude.” AGREED!

@moonprincesscl: I myself like everything to match and look nice. So in that aspect, I understand completely.

Post # 12
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I agree you are overreacting a bit it’s not worth bad feelings with your inlaws

Post # 13
Member
787 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I think your fine, i dont think your over reactin, i would be pretty pissed if the ring berror was wearing flip flops she could have put him in black sneakers if he had a thing whit wearing shoes ( i worked at a daycare and one child hated shoes ) Im rite there with you why cant anyone where nice things to a wedding! why the hell did he where white!?, cant say much for the goth chick from reading that im not sure if thats maybe her normal style if it is you cant get mad at that – its who she is but if not…then yeah they both wore something odd to your wedding. – im on the fence with mine my future MIL wants to wear a mini dress shes in her late 50’s and im trying to take her dress shopping so she desent pick out something she should wear to a night club – i dont want her to look old and frumpy just dont look like a slut at our wedding! i know exactly where your coming from

Post # 14
Member
11753 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think you’re being ridiculous about 1 and 2.  I can see the frustration about 3 and 4 intially – as in the day of your wedding.  However, it’s been months, you’re way overreacting to be upset about it this far after the fact.  What’s teh point? It’s over and done with, nothing you can do now.  Time to move on hunny.

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