Post # 1
Hey ladies, I have a question and I just want to know if this is normal or am I just not ready to have kids.
My Husband and I are TTC, and although I look forward to being a mom, I cant stop Obsessing over the Labor/Child birth part at the end.
I scare myself straight thinking about it. Ive heard countless horror stories about Natural child birth, and Ive also heard how c-section by no means is the “easy” way out.
I guess my question is, since Im obsessing about pain and delivery instead of thinking and hoping for a healthy baby, Am I ready to even have children? or is this a common thought process all women go through?
I am completely horrified of the pain I will go through and it scares me.
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2011 - Clark Gardens
I think its totally normal. It is scary!! Just try to remember that labor/delivery is only a day or two. The real challenge (I think) is everything that comes after! Recovery, of course, and then raising a child for the next couple of decades.
Post # 4
@Ugoob: In my experience, it’s totally normal. Pain is scary! It doesn’t mean you’re not ready to have a baby. Everyone I know who has kids (including me) was apprehensive about giving birth and the pain involved.
If the fear is so great that it’s making you rethink your decision to have a child, maybe you could talk to a counselor about it. Fear should never control your decisions or stop you from doing something you really want to do. A counselor can help you overcome fear and learn techniques to handle it effectively.
Post # 5
@Ugoob: I think that thought process is extremely common when thinking about all of the responsibility that comes with raising a child. I think when you hold that child in your arms, you’ll forget all the doubts you had once before. I have fears of labor and delivery, but the end result, I’m sure, will make it that much worth it!
Post # 6
I’m 33 weeks pregnant and still totally terrified about the labor and delivery part, if I’m going to be totally honest. I keep thinking how is something that big getting out of there!
I think the healthy baby part, for most woman, comes as soon as you get pregnant. It’s insanely weird how much you can care for something you’ve never met. Up until that point, I think it’s normal to worry about all of the other stuff first.
I didn’t really feel attached until I felt the baby moving. It’s something I can’t explain to anyone. It’s an instant love.
Post # 7
I’m 28 weeks, 4 days right now. This was unplanned but I’ve had around 24 weeks to get used to the idea so far. However, I am still TERRIFIED of childbirth. I’m scared of everything that can go wrong and all the pain that will happen. I think part of what has helped me so far though is realizing she needs to come out somehow. Also, when she kicks I think about getting to hold her and remember labor and childbirth have to happen to get to that point. It’s not much but it helps a little.
I don’t think being afraid of the labor and childbirth part makes you any less ready to be a mother though. I agree that everything that comes after has more to do with that.
Post # 8
Thanks ladies! I think youre right, I feel so dettached. Hopefully my fear goes way once I feel it inside me, and naturally my mom instincts kick in and Ill do anything and everything to get that baby out.
I just dont get how women always want to share their “war” stories. Im completely traumatized! hearing about it when I talk to my family.
Post # 9
@Ugoob: I think war stories are crap. If it was so terrible for them, then they wouldn’t do it again.
Post # 10
aww dont be scared or nervous trust me its not as bad as other moms say! i heard alot of stories while i was pregnant but i ignored them theres IS pain but not unbearable!
Post # 11
You should be fine. Never listen to anyone’s war stories as some people do tend to over-exaggerate. Some people can handle pain more than others. I am not a mom yet nor ttc, but i’m sure it’s not as bad as some people may make it seem. I believe the hard part comes after giving birth, raising that child and making sure he/she is healthy.
Post # 12
You need to read http://www.amazon.com/Ina-Mays-Guide-Childbirth-Gaskin/dp/0553381156/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1336089305&sr=8-1
Sounds like you need encouragement, support, words of wisdom. Going into labor scared is normal, but obsessing over it can be unhealthy. It can cause more labor pain & even worse cause you not to progress during labor. This is coming from someone who is pregnant with her second. I can relate to the feeling, but the more knowledgeable you are about what’s to come & the more support you have, maybe it be through friends/family & sucess stories, the better you’ll feel. You need to feel empowered knowing that your about to accomplish the hardest thing in your life, and have the most rewarding outcome. The moment you hold your baby in your arms for the first time, any pain that you endured will melt away & become completely worth it. 🙂
Post # 13
@mwitter80: I think moms share their war stories because it is a traumatising experience and they still can’t believe they went through that! They have other children because, no matter how difficult giving birth was, you know it is only one day and it’s nothing compared to seeing your child grow up for the rest of his life.
Having been through it, I can say that I am still obsessed with the same worries as the OP for my next one – kinda even more so in fact. My first one was difficult and ended up with a c-section and I’m so scared to have a similar experience next time that I’ll probably opt for another c-section from the get go to make it a little bit easier on all of us.
Post # 14
I have never been preganant or given birth and we are not TTC, but I think it is totally normal to be scared of the pain that comes at the end of pregnancy.
However, whenever I watch baby shows on TV and the like I always think about what my Mom always said.
She says that while labor is very painful, falling in love with your baby helps you forget about it. If there wasn’t such a reward after the struggle, women would never have more than one child.
My mom has 4 children.
Don’t doubt that you can be a mommy! You will do great!