Post # 1
I have not really posted a lot on here, but I do go through posts from time to time. I really need to just need to vent.
I won’t go into a whole lot of boring details, unless you want to know more, but here is a little background. I have had a lot of drama with my wedding. A lot of drama with the wedding party but we managed to get over it…for the most part. I had people who were not invited to the wedding tell me that I am rude and a B****. Some of the wedding party were upset they were paired with certain people and after many complaints I changed who they were paired with. One of my mom’s cousins yelled at me on the phone and got upset later in person because I gave plus ones to who her two children who both have boyfriends and girlfriends. Plus her son does not even live with her. She is still upset because her son is bringing his girlfriend. These were just a few of the problems we have had.
Then one of my cousins might not make to the rehearsal because she has a sports match that night and then the next day she and her brother might be late for pre-ceremony pictures. They wanted me to move them but I told them if they could not make it the pictures I understand. After I stood my ground they said they would try to work around it. I have had the hardest time putting the reception tables together and who was sitting with who. I knew my aunt (the mom to my cousins who might be late to pictures) wanted her parents to sit next to her. Originally, I could not make that happen unless I put my aunt and my uncle (my mother’s brother) in the back. Which I knew I could not do because it would have been an insult in my family to put a family member in the back. I let my aunt know and she was upset. She asked to move her parents to her table. I let her know this could not be done. Then she stopped texting me and I got a call from my uncle. He demanded that I put him with his in-laws. I told him I was not sure if I could do that and they only way I could do that was to put him in the back. He said he does not care. If his wife wants to sit next to her parents then that’s what he will have to do. I told him we shall see. He then stared saying I am an out of control bridezilla. I told him that was rude of him to say. He said again that I was out of control and hung up. Well it was not long before my grandfather started telling me that I was stupid and I should put two extra seats where my uncle was sitting. I tried to explain, the reception hall only allows 8 at a table with a few exceptions for 9. He just kept saying don’t be stupid and don’t listen to the reception hall and put 10. I at this point I just about had it and told my mom the next person who complains to me about the wedding they are uninvited to the wedding.
My mom called me later that evening and told me some family members can no longer come to the wedding, so I could switch some seats around and put my uncle with his in-laws. I told my mom, her brother can sit with his in-laws as long as he asks nicely and apologies for how rude he was to me. My mom said she will see but did not think her brother would apologies. I got a phone call from my uncle today. I thought it was to apologies. He asked if I switched him yet. I said I will only if you apologies. He again said I was out of control and something must be wrong with me. I let him know I do not appreciate being talked to like that and if this is how he is going to act then him and his family do not have to attend the wedding. He said I just like to start trouble and hung up on me.
My mom is upset and says I should have been the bigger person and both my uncle and I are so stubborn. That we both always have to be right. We are going to stress my grandma out now who has high blood pressure. I told her I refuse to be talked like that. I am not a child that can be bossed around. I really don’t think I was being an out of control bridezilla but I guess I could be wrong. I am so stressed out. There is a million things we have to get done before the wedding and on top of all this I am being summoned for jury duty.
This topic was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by legobride.
Post # 2
- Wedding: Royal Park Hotel
I think your big mistake is letting people get the idea that they have that much choice in the matter.
I’ll just focus on the uncle – why in the hell is he so obsessed with sitting with the in-laws? Where a bride and groom choose to seat you at a reception THEY are hosting is up to them. You don’t just get to call the bride and demand on-the-spot seating arrangements and call her names if she doesn’t comply ASAP.
Anyone that complains about where they sit (IE, in the back) it’s pretty clear they think the wedding is “all about them.” and their status. So immature. Do your thing. People like that will find any reason to pick a fight with you.
Post # 3
legobride: Holy crap. Your family sounds nuts, agree with PP, it’s not about them. But I understand trying to please everyone. I droze myself INSANE trying to do that, then I cracked and stopped caring.
Ultimtately you need to do what’s best for you guys because you’re never going to make everyone happy, someone will ALWAYS complain. My dad told me that when I was going crazy and it really sunk in and hit me like a brick wall, I realized that he was right and no matter what I did people complained, so I just did it the way my FI and I wanted. Eventually it’ll blow over, or they won’t come, which is this case might not be a bad thing.
Your uncle sounds very immature and it’s hard to reason with people like that, you did the right thing standing up for yourself. At this point if they can sit together, put them together, move on. If not, then sit them wherever and ignore them.
Sorry you’re going through this. 🙁 I would have eloped at this point! haha.
Post # 4
I think it’s a total mistake to have people weighing in on the seating chart- I mean… Who the hell calls a bride and requests seats? This is not ticketmaster. It’s a hosted party and if they’re lucky enough to be invited they can sit where you seat them. Are they paying? No? Then they can STFU.
Post # 5
OP, I think you need to do more of the smile and nod “thanks for your input!” And then continue to plan your wedding as you think is best.
Post # 6
- Wedding: March 2015 - On a Cliff Overlooking the Bay, Florida
legobride: I’m sorry you are going through this! This is the main reason i am not assigning seats I don’t want that headache!! Most wedding in my circle only have a few reserved tables for immediate family and the rest of the tables are open seating.
Post # 7
- Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter's Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle
Your aunt got upset because you GAVE plus ones? That has to be the first time that has ever happened, normally people are upset because you DIDN’T give plus ones! I definitely agree with the smile, nod and “thanks for your input” and carry on as you were. You’re not being a bridezilla, they’re being unreasonable.
Post # 8
Sorry, but I don’t understand why you can’t seat your aunt with her own parents? Most adults haven’t been forced into a seating chart arrangement since 8th grade. I can kind of see why they are a little peeved that as grown adults they are not allowed to sit with whom they want. It’s also best that if you don’t want to move them, then stand your ground. But if you can move them don’t make it contingent upon your uncle ‘asking nicely and apologizing’. Just be the bigger person. To be honest, things sound a bit bratty on both ends.
Post # 9
Derp: I just wanted to make everyone happy so that’s why I put up with so much for so long and I did not want to stress my grandmother out even more. My uncle wants his in-laws with him because I guess they are shy and do not feel comfortable sitting with people they have only met with a handful times. Which I do not understand because FI and I have gone to weddings where we did not know anyone besides the bride and groom and there have been two times where I was a bridesmaid and FI had to sit alone. We both survived but my uncle does not care.
Omg this is so me right now. The only bad thing is if my uncle and his family do not come I will get calls/texts asking why my uncle is not there. Yes it is very hard to reason with my uncle. It is always his way or the highway and for once I refuse to be told what to do. I can now at this point sit them together but man it is so hard to let it go because he always gets his way.
MrsBuesleBee: I wanted my aunt to know that way she would not be surprised on the wedding day and my family try to create drama. So much for how that worked out. My best friend almost said the same thing. Even though they are not paying they feel they have the right to do what they want because I am supposed to respect my elders. My mom says that I should smile and nod but they will demand to see a list anyway and will create a stink till they see one or will cause drama on the wedding day.
Thank you. I wish I could do this but people would use up only half the tables and we would have to use twice as many tables and order twice as many centerpieces. It is crazy.
Well she thinks if her kids bring their SO she will have to socialize more with them versus other people, people will assume her kids are engaged and she does not want people to think that, and does not believe a SO should not be invited unless they are married or at the very least engaged.
Well originally I could not because only family can be put in the first few rows. Although my uncle would be ok with being put in the back my aunt and grandpa would have thrown a fit. As I was right. My uncle after he talked to me talked to my mom and told her it was ok to be in the back and when my aunt talked to my mom she said she wanted to be upfront and have her parents with her. At that time my mom said the same thing we shall see. It was only when one of my mom’s cousins called and said they no longer could come that there was room to put my aunts parents with them. Now that I moved them though we are going to have more people complain because they way the seats are arranged now. I can never win. Maybe I am being petty and should be the bigger person but I am so tired of my uncle demanding things be his way and people catering to him.