- 5 years ago
Well, bees, it’s getting to be that time again. DH’s family has started planning their vacation for this coming summer. I posted about this sometime last year, and even included a poll asking how many of you travel with your DH/SO’s families. I talked about the horrible experiences I’d had and how I’d sworn off family travel for eternity. Now, they’re all starting to talk about booking condos and all I want to do is crawl under a rock and hide until September.
DH’s family never traveled together before he met me. I think they took a couple of trips when he was a very small baby/child. Nothing after age five or so. Until, two years ago, I suggested a few of us take a long weekend at the beach together. Turned out to be a bad idea. Last summer (2012), DH and I got married at the beach. MIL and FIL rented a huge beach house and invited some relatives and friends along. DH and I had a honeymoon suite for the weekend of our wedding. After that, it was either go home, or go to stay at the beach house with his family. I wanted to go home. DH pressed me for more time and his parents begged and pleaded for us to stay. They even reserved the master suite in the house for us to stay in! I felt guilty/pressured and I ended up giving in.
That trip turned out to be like the first one, but on steroids. I was absolutely miserable and wanted to come home. I promised myself that I would never put myself in that position again. This year, we don’t have a wedding to pay for. So, I decided (while still on last summer’s trainwreck trip) that we would be reserving our own accomodations for 2013. It’s only fair. We didn’t get a real honeymoon last year and it’ll be our anniversary when we go back.
The problem is, MIL still isn’t taking no for an answer and it is getting ready to become problematic. I informed MIL that DH and I would be getting our own place, a long time ago. To which, she got an attitude but seemed accepting. The subject has risen a few more times, and each time I have to re-iterate that we will not be spending seven days in the same dwelling with the rest of DH’s family (in very much nicer terms). Though, I did tell her that we can all stay in the same vicinity, since we’ll all be down there at the same time and DH and I will come visit them frequently for dinners and hanging out. Yesterday, I happened upon the tail end of a conversation between DH’s cousin and MIL, about accomodations. Cousin had found some cheap condos, and it would be cheaper to rent two of those (the family can’t all fit in one) than to rent a house. MIL was saying that DH, myself, cousin, her DH, SIL and her SO plus everyone’s kids would be in one condo.
Umm, I hardly think so! I could go into my reasons why this set-up is just not ideal for my first anniversary/second chance honeymoon. But, I think the situation explains itself. I didn’t say a word to MIL this time. I just know she’s going to pissed when I make separate reservations for DH and I. What would you guys do? Would you bite the bullet and go with DH’s family? Or, would you stand your ground? How do I (or preferrably DH) need to approach her without ruffling any feathers? We cannot afford to take two week-long vacations and have DH out of work that long. So taking a trip alone and then going on the family trip is out of the question. Ntm, MIL purposefully scheduled their trip for our anniversary week! I can give specifics on my reasons for not wanting to travel with them if anyone is particularly interested in those. This is just already so long…