Am I right to be offended?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2687 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID

@Macsgirl14:  I don’t know… I won’t really be offended by it. I’ve texted an ex in front of my boyfriend before. It’s not like we carry on 4 hour conversations, but if I see or think or hear something that reminds me of one of them, I’ll text them. For instance, the other day I thought I saw my ex’s dad, and I was like “…is your dad in Orlando?” and we had a short little conversation about that. I don’t think it’s a big deal. 

Post # 4
Member
4215 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Apparently there was enough chemistry before, otherwise why would he be sleeping with her?

Seriously, fuck that. If there was no relationship and it was only sex, why the hell are they still talking? I don’t buy it. Frankly I wouldn’t be with a guy who’s ok with having sex with someone they apparently don’t have an emotional connection with, nor would I be with someone who thinks it’s okay to ignore me to text someone else while we’re out. 

Does he pull out the whole “you should trust me” argument a lot? My experience with guys like that is that they find a way to convince you that you’re crazy for not trusting them, when in reality they are not worth trusting in the least.

 

Post # 5
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@Macsgirl14:  how did he react when you told him you were annoyed?

Post # 6
Member
2189 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

I wouldn’t be cool with that, neither would FI if it were reversed.
How would your guy feel if you were texting a dude you used to boink, and then wanted to set up a playdate with the kids to get together so that dude could be around even more?
Setting up the playdate just sounds like an excuse to have her around to me.

Seems weird and awkward to me.

 

Post # 9
Member
2783 posts
Sugar bee

@Macsgirl14:  I don’t know that is be “offended” but I wouldn’t like it. I personally make it a habit not to be friends with/involve our lives with anyone that either of us have previously slept with.

Post # 10
Member
6644 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think you are over reacting.  It was just two friends bsing, it’s not like he was hiding who he was talking to.  I would drop it, he apologized that’s all that matters

Post # 11
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@Macsgirl14:  If he had half a brain he would know that it’s not just your “insecurities” and he’s trying to make you feel guilty about it.  Kind of a red flag.

Of course he’s going to paint you as the insecure one when he was texting the woman he used to sleep with.  Eh – there’s a lot of grey area here so I can’t say for sure but if you think something is up…it might be for good reason.

Post # 14
Member
5966 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

@Macsgirl14: I think the fact that he was doing it in front of you says that he doesn’t have much to hide. So that’s good. I text a few of my ex’s or past flings still occasionally and DH knows and sometime she doesn’t. You either trust him or you don’t and it sounds like you do. so while I totally understand that you were upset he did it while you guys were spending time together, in general I don’t think you should worry at this point. Put the emphasis on the fact that during your time together he shouldn’t be carrying on text conversations with anyone. He should be enjoying quality time with you.

Post # 15
Member
626 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Sorry hun, but that’s not respectful at all. I’d never put up with that. Don’t think you should either.

Post # 16
Member
1343 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Maybe I’m just overprotective/overbearing/ or just plan crazy… 

But I would NOT be okay with him talking to a girl he used to have relations with…I don’t like to even think about him with someone else let alone talking to her and trying to have her become my friend? oh hell no. 

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