Post # 1
Bees, I feel stuck.
My best friend is a hairstylist. She has been doing my hair since she started her schooling for it a few years ago. While I feel she does a good job it’s never what I ask for and I always leave unhappy. She always does what she wants with my hair and never what I want. And the real kicker is that I get charged a lot for it because the salon she works for is expensive and it’s not want I asked for so it feels like a complete waste of money. I only go there to support her and shes charging me to give her free reign of my hair.
On a side note, she’s said some pretty rude things about my hair (not to me but to people that have told me) and that hurts me.
Am I stuck? Has anyone else been in a similar situation? What can I do? Do I just need to grow some balls and leave? If I go to someone else every time she sees it after she’ll point out bad thing the other stylist did because she always compares her “awesome talent” to other people’s.
I’m just lost. Help!
Post # 2
I guess what I don’t understand is why you continue to get your hair cut/done by someone who doesn’t give you the style you want and leaves you feeling miserable. The definition of a best friend is someone who loves and accept you unconditionally and supports you and wants the best for you always. Have you expressed to your friend how you feel and what it is that you want?
The fact that your BF has been talking badly about you behind your back means she is not a true friend to you. If she cannot respect your freedom to choose to go wherever the heck you want to get your hair done, means that she does not truly love you as a best friend should — if anything that is very selfish and judgmental behavior.
It sounds like deep down inside, you know what you need to do. I don’t know the exact dynamics of your friendship but if a heartfelt conversation doesn’t work with her than YES — you definitely need to grow a pair and learn to stand-up for yourself and have some stronger boundaries around how you let people treat you.
Post # 3
I can’t believe you’ve let your friend do you hair as long as you have, to be quite honest. Her behavior and customer service sound horrible.
You’re not stuck at all. I think you should talk to her about it, and do what you need to do to for yourself. You deserve better treatment than this. Her reaction may not be good, and you may even lose her as a friend for a while or altogether, but that’s ok, even if it hurts.
Not everyone deserves support, by the way, especially when they act like that. You may be her friend, but that doesn’t mean you have to, or should, ignore her actions.
Post # 4
Oy vey… Please excuse the errors. I’m still not used to the changes to the editing function.
Post # 5
So she doesn’t give you what you want, charges you for it, and says nasty things about you/your hair behind your back?
Why do you care if leaving her salon hurts her feelings? She’s mean and not a good stylist. A good stylist would make sure you were happy, and a good friend wouldn’t talk crap about you. She’s making a fool out of you and charging you for it.
Find a new stylist, and don’t even bother explaining why.
Post # 6
Thanks for all the responses and help bees.
I’ve decided to look elsewhere and just need the courage to stand up about it now.
My friend has always been like that and treats everyone in her life that way and everyone knows it. Her DH probably gets it the worst if I’m honest but he’s also a lot like her. Everything is always about them and they always play the victim. It’s sad really but I feel she’s a narcissist and nothing will ever change. She can always do things better than everyone else. She’s smaller than me, she can do hair better than me, they know everything from how to properly roof a house to work on a car. It’s ridiculous because I know thats not the case but they act like they’ve seen everything there is to see and done everything there is to do.
Is it bad that sometimes I rub in certain things just to get back at her?
Ops, didn’t mean to turn this into a bash on my friend. Sorry! Maybe we all know someone like that. I could go on but I’ll stop.