(Closed) Am I stupid?

posted 5 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
1576 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I am having my biggest wedding yet (although still small compared to those shown on WB) and I am getting married for the THIRD time.

Post # 4
Member
7656 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

No there isn’t anything wrong with it, and you’re not stupid. If you feel good about it then why not have a celebration? People don’t have to attend if they don’t want to. Besides, you guys are paying for it yourself. It isn’t like you are asking for a handout.

I see no problem. Enjoy and congrats!

Post # 5
Member
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Well, given that you’ve said your family only wanted you to have the first wedding for appearances, I’m not horribly surprised by their reaction. That being said, I absolutely do not agree with them at all. You’ve found the strength to get out of a marriage that was entered into for all the wrong reasons, even though you have a child with that man, and you’ve gone on to find legitimate love. To me, that absoutely is a cause for whever type of celebration floats your boat. Good luck!

Post # 6
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2012

This is my 2nd FI 3rd, I wanted a wedding to involve our children.  Of course, the wedding has grown beyond what I wanted but I am dealing with that.  We included on our invitations “please let your smile be your gift” because we didn’t want our families to feel like they needed to give us gifts this time around. 

I like you am getting everything I want with this wedding.  I am doing most of it on my own and am LOVING and enjoying it this time.  I SAY CELEBRATE YOUR LOVE and forget about everyone else.  It is just about the two of you!!

 

Post # 7
Member
4466 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

My mom had a modest yet beautiful wedding when she got remarried in 2004. She had a stunning flower arrangement on her card table, beyond anything I even had at my wedding (times were different then though, just pointing out that she didn’t scrimp because it was a 2nd wedding). That wedding did end in divorce because the man turned out to be an abusive con man. But, she is now dating the most wonderful man and I know they are hoping to get married sometime in the future. She has said that for this marriage she is doing nothing except signing a marriage license with the appropriate people and perhaps having a nice meal at a restaurant. Even then, of course she still wants to celebrate with the family and very close friends that love her. I don’t think it’s silly to do anything that you want for your own wedding.

My father in law is getting remarried in September and I know he is having a modest event at a restaurant. My grandmother got remarried for the third time to a man she has known since high school (she was in her 60s when they got married, really unbelievable) and she had it an event hall, it was still very small, but she wore a beautiful dress and had centerpieces and dance music. (Btw, my dad’s mom, not my mom’s mom. Both three times married but not related by blood. My mom’s parents were married for 40 something years). I also know that when my grandmother married her 2nd husband (the man I had grown up calling grandpa) she had a lavish affair and my father and his siblings were a part of the wedding. 

Post # 8
Member
745 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

No, and no. You should have the wedding and marriage that you want. And just because it’s a second one doesn’t make it any less special. It’s the only time you’ll be marrying HIM, so the previous one shouldn’t matter as far as comparisons go.

Post # 10
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

No you shouldn’t feel stupid for wanting to get remarried or for wanting a wedding. Our wedding will be my 1st and FI’s 2nd and he was absolutely committed to the idea of having a wedding (I drug my feet for a bit and finally got on board). I think it’s natural to want to celebrate.

Post # 11
Member
11760 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

No you aren’t stupid and there is nothing wrong with it!  If you’ve found the one you truly love then who cares what anyone else says. You’re young and should do what will make you happy!  Plus, even though it’s your second wedding, it’s still your FI’s first! You guys should make it special for both of you. Good luck and happy planning!

Post # 12
Member
1072 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Have the wedding you want! 

Post # 13
Member
2616 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@mvest:  i did it. my first marriage was like u said- to not bring parents shame– pregnant at 18.)  since ur fiance is having his first marriage. he should get the big wedding experience too

 

🙂 happy wedding planning . dont like peoples views opnions bring you down. all that matters is ur fiance and u

Post # 14
Member
9559 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

No and no. I would guess that your family’s concern stems, in large part, from you moving so quickly from one relationship to another. But in the end you and your fiance are the ones that know whether or not you moved so fast, and everyone else should respect that. So have the wedding you want. I would forgo the bridal showers, but other than that – do what you want! Celebrate finding the right guy and those that truly support you will be happy for you!

Post # 16
Member
7908 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

No, not at all. I’m really upset for you that your family isn’t being more supportive. My first marriage was a disaster, and when DH and I decided to get married, we wanted something small and intimate, and my mom and friends were like, hell no, you are having an even bigger and better wedding, because this time it’s right. I want that for you too!

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