am I the asshole? a little bit of a rant.

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4893 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@partyplanner83:  I’m with you on this. You’re not his keeper. He’s an adult and can get himself up. You kindly did as he requested – it’s not your responsibility to stand there and force him up out of bed.

 

Post # 4
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

that is super annoying of him!

Post # 5
Member
499 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@partyplanner83:  Just tell him you won’t bother with waking him up anymore. It’s not your responsibility.

But I hate waking up too, regardless of how much sleep I get, I will wake up cranky and mad at the world! haha So I get where he’s coming from too, but he shouldn’t get mad at YOU for not waking him up…

Post # 6
Member
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

That would piss me off so much.

It’s not your job to decide whether he’s lying to you so that he can stay in bed – the deal was to wake him up at X time. He said you didn’t need to.

I’d tear the covers off him next time. 🙁

 

Post # 7
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I would be incredibly annoyed if after a late night shift I also had to babysit someone into waking up. I think your annoyance is granted- and I would’ve been very snarky if my fiance said something like that to me.

Post # 8
Member
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@partyplanner83:  I can’t say that I have this issue, BUT, I think it’s ridiculous that he expects you to continually try to wake him. Yes, requesting that you wake him when you get in is fine–I’d do it for Mr. H if he asked, no biggie. But even if he knew I was going to wake him up, I’d bet money on it that he’d still set an alarm for himself.

I would tell your FI something along the lines of, “I’m sorry this morning didn’t go as you planned; I took you at your word that you could sleep in a little later. I don’t mind waking you up when I get in from work, but please do not make mean comments to me for not doing everything short of dragging you out of bed. That’s hurtful, and not necessary. I bought you a backup alarm so this doesn’t happen again.” Then give him a lovely gift: the biggest, loudest, and possibly ugliest alarm clock you can find 🙂

Post # 9
Member
13003 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Wow, no, he was being an ass.  If you tried again and he said everything was fine, then everything should be fine!  Does he expect you go keep going in to beg him to wake up.  It’s lose lose.  Based on this, next time if you did keep trying, he could yell at you for waking him up when he said he didn’t need to. 

Tell him to get himself an alarm clock and be resonsible for getting his own ass up when he needs to if he’s going to be like that.

Post # 10
Member
1470 posts
Bumble bee

This is what I call a “what the fuck fight.” Where you’re left standing there like…what the fuck did I do? I pay these fights no mind. He’s mad at himself and took it out on you. When you see him again and things have calmed down, he’ll probably (hopefully) be contrite but just let him know he can’t take his frustrations out on you. Suggest that he set the alarm on his phone because the set up of you waking him up isn’t working for you if something like this morning’s fight could happen out of doing him a favor. 

Post # 11
Member
744 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

No he’s the asshole lol. 

Post # 12
Member
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@partyplanner83:  Are you kidding me? 

He is not a child. If he tells you he doesn’t need to get up, it is not your job or responsibility to assume he’s lying like some five year old.

If I were you, I would tell him I would make two attempts to wake him in the mornings.  If that’s not sufficient or he feels justified in being cranky with you, then he can buy a damn alarm clock. 

He’s being ridiculous. 

Post # 13
Member
655 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m with you. He can set his own alarm and be an adult and get himself up. You tried, so don’t feel bad. He needs to learn to rely on himself to get up for work. I have said “I’m not your mother” to my husband when he needed reminding and we don’t have issues like this anymore. 

Treat him like an adult. He can take responsibility for shit like this. 

Post # 14
Member
2913 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

This would really grind my gears. 

Post # 15
Member
4639 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Clearly misdirected anger. He’s mad at himself and unfortunately you’re right there so he can make himself feel better by directing it towards you.

As @QuirkySocialite:  said.. its a “what the fuck” fight. They happen.

When he calms down, tell him you don’t mind waking him up, but he should probably set a secondary alarm if he falls back to sleep.

Post # 16
Member
2869 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

He is 1000% in the wrong. You aren’t his alarm clock or his mama. 

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