(Closed) Will Our Age Difference Tear Us Apart

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2607 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@babypearls:  START introducing the relationship?  I think since you have a child together you’re WAY past the starting point here.  This is their grandchild/cousin/neice/nephew, and his family doesn’t know about you or the child?

Your age differnce is of no concern to me, but your SO had better get his butt in motion and fill his family in on the entire LIFE he has made with you!

Also, I believe Anna’s husband was 90 when they married, that’s a far cry from your SO’s 49 years. If you love eathother, then you have nothing to be ashamed of.  This relationship needs to come out in the open, and you should be proud to have found eachother.

Post # 4
2385 posts
Buzzing bee

There will always be people who don’t approve of your relationship and there will always be things people find to make snide remarks about. Yours happens to be age. If it wasn’t that it wouuld be something else. Do what’s right for you and don’t care what other people think. 

Post # 6
3830 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Do not be ashamed of your relationship and start being proud of it and making a point to attend get togethers as a couple. 

My sister is with a man older than our father. At first i was not a fan of him. I thought they were too different. They had a son and he didnt come around and so i never got to know him and never liked him. Finally he warmed up. They had their second son and he is part of the family now. 

Having him make the effort, and seeing them together as a family unit was the big change for us accepting him in the family. I still think he is a little, quirky, but he is a wonderful father. If he had continued to keep his distance then i dont think we would all get along the way we do now. 

Post # 7
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Have you considered moving to a more liberal state? I grew up in TX, and the Baptists in my neighborhood picketed when they built a Catholic church nearby. It was very tense, and absolutely ridiculous. I think you’d find, in the Bay Area, for example, that there are places where diversity is celebrated instead of beaten down.

Post # 9
506 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

My ant is 15 years older than my uncle, his family doesn’t like it, but they dont care, his family are fine now. My ant doesn’t tell people her real age unless she wants to. Some looks much youger than their real age, and you dont need tell people your real age if you dont want to. 

Post # 10
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

This was an issue to consider before you started a family together. Getting married after you’re so connected now is just a formality. You’ve already made your decision, so be proud of it! You can just be happy with him and let the world see that you’re in love.

Post # 11
1936 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I don’t think age is the real issue here. It’s that you’ve created a life with someone, and both of you have been hidden from your families. I think people will be more hurt by that fact than him being 26 years older than you. I would start easing people into this, because I can guarantee they’ve HEARD about you, might as well get moving on the introductions. Just brace yourself for weird first encounters and perhaps some snide remarks. If you’re happy together, let that show, and people will see it. 

Post # 12
1855 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Your age difference will only be an issue for you as a couple if you make it an issue.  My husband is 21 years older than me, and yes, some of my family has concerns about the difference, but who cares?  They don’t have to live with him, sleep with him, love him… I do, and vice versa.  You have built a life and a family together, and by hiding away from everyone, it shows that you’re not proud of what you’ve created.  You have every right to be proud and to share your relationship with the world, because they only know what you show them.  If you show them fear and insecurity, they will not be supportive.  If you show them confidence in your relationship and in your love, it’s much harder to argue with.  If they still don’t come around, it is only a sign of their narrow-mindedness and not of the value of your relationship.

Post # 13
1427 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t think the age difference is the issue. You already chose to start and create a family and life with your Fiance. 

I think your issues are going to stem from the other threads you started requesting advice from the bees. Based off of what you’ve posted on and what I commented on prior I think you need to worry about those and disregard the age. Age is just a number; how you two deal with your personal problems will ultimately determine how your marriage will turn out.


Post # 16
1832 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Start including both of your extended families into your lives so they can see for themselves how much you both truly love each other. Other than that who cares what they thing. You both want to marry one another, thats all that counts.

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