- 9 years ago
- Wedding: July 2009
My story is sort of a long and involved one but i will try and trim it down.
My FI and i met in high school and have been dating for 3 yrs, engaged for 2. He proposed in October 2007 but we are just getting married this year because my parents FLIPPED out. My mother especially. Apparently our family does the whole "guy-asks-the-father thing" which i wasnt aware of and quite frankly didnt see the point. (still dont BTW) Anywho long story short my FI didnt ask my dad before he proposed and that caused whole bunch of issues with my mother. And my mother made my life a living hell ( i still live with my parents)she wouldnt let me tell anyone, couldnt wear my ring in her presence,ect. So after about a year of this nonsense and waiting for my mother to snap out of it, we decided to set the date for the 15th of October 2009; come hell fire or high water, whether my mother liked it or not. So i let my mother know that i really want her help with this, i want her as much a part of my wedding as she wishes and she told me in no un-certain terms that she would NOT help me in any way and continues to badger and belittle my wedding,my FI and my impending marraige. Meanwhile my father has resigned to the fact of his only daughter getting married and is trying to convince my mother to at least give her opinions on color swatches and things. But despite my fathers best efforts and my walking on egg shells my mother continues to be very hurtful and belittiling. (EX: She once told me that yes she would help with the wedding if i REALLY wanted her too, and like a fool i got really excited and started like gushing and then she was like "oh well if i did help itwould only be because dad wanted me too; my heart wouldnt be in it) As well as consantly attacking my FI and saying very, very mean things about him. And so i have been planning my entire wedding by myself, my friends live far away and only one of them can make it to the wedding and even she isnt concrete and i actually had one of my friends she could not be my MOH because my mother didnt agree. So I have been relying on my FI (who has been the most AMAZING fiance EVER) to help me with all the girly plans. Thankfully i have made some new friends, one who is now my MOH and the other who is one of my BM’s and they have been super supportive and helpful.
ANYWAY(so much for making it short,huh?) my point is, even though i have an amazing FI and two wonderful friends backing me up, it still really stings when i go to fittings and tastings and things and i see mothers with their daughters, happily and willingly helping out of love, not obligation. It feels like i am the only bride in the worls whose mother will not help with her wedding, Am I the only one or are there others out there like me?