- 5 years ago
I considered going anon for this, but ultimately decided not to.. hope I don’t regret this! :/
I’m fairly young, 24 years old and getting married next year. We have already started hearing the “when are babies coming” comments and teasing, which I don’t mind but it got me thinking..
Does anyone else feel like its a little (or a lot) unfair? As women, there is an (arguable) bias against us in the working world because of maternity leave, and how we are still typically the primary caregivers to children, such as leaving work early to take home a sick child vs the father. But my issue isn’t so much work related, as physical.
During pregnancy, women can’t do or eat/drink many things. Like alcohol, caffiene (excess), raw fish.. the list goes on. That sucks. And you get fat. I know the bump is cute and all, but looking bloated and fat for months after birth is just UNFAIR. The men get a child, but they don’t have to deal with any of that. Swollen ankles, backache, nausea/morning sickness, bladder leaks, everything. And then theres birth, obviously. Thats super painful and then the mother has to recover, breastfeed (which I heard was painful, difficult, and emotionally draining for many), and go back to work if a working mom. I think its so unfair that my body has to go through all that, the morning sickness, the feeling heavy, having permanent ugliness due to stretch marks/sagging/baby fat.. I don’t know. I want kids, but I don’t know if I’m selfless enough to do it without feeling resentful. Both dad and mom get a child, but the mom’s body “pays the price.” The dad gets to just go around prancing and bragging about his baby to be, while the mom is miserable being so large and hormonal!
Also, theres a lot of sucky stuff leading up to birth. If its hard to get preggo, women have to chart, test their ovulation, temp, all that stuff. Men are rarely as involved, especially emotionally. And then doing all the needle-sticking bloodwork, the glucose test, amniotic fluid tests – the men get a free pass! A lot of fathers I know don’t even know half the tests/medical stuff women have to go through during their pregnancy. I already told Fiance whatever I wasn’t allowed to eat, he wasn’t either (sushi, etc) because I’d just be too angry. I know that sounds ridiculous, but its just *not fair* to me. Why am I so immature??
Am I the only one that feels this way? Am I totally crazy 🙁
ETA: Fiance and I have discussed having children, I agreed to have at least one biologically and then depending on how much I hate it, I will either carry another one or we will adopt the second. Its understandably important to Fiance to have a biological child, but I wish I could just adopt 2 and get it over with!