Post # 1
Soo we’re getting married in October, and the rehearsal/rehearsal dinner is going to be the first time I meet his parents and first time he meets mine! Super nerve wracking… BUT is it wierd? I mean FI works retail so gets almost NO time off and I just got out of the military. I was working at least 6 days a week and had to beg to get holidays off. The furthest he’s traveled while we were dating/engaged is about 5hours. My parents live a 10+hour drive (depending on traffic) away from where we met and are living. His parents live an 18+ hour drive away. His family doesn’t have a ton of money so they can’t just fly down at any moment. My Mom just finished nursing school and Dad’s been doing a lot of traveling due to my Grandmother recently passing away. Anyone else in a similar situation and never met their in-laws?
Post # 3
It sucks, but at least they don’t live 30 min away and you haven’t met them. It’s how life works sometimes, I guess!
Post # 4
@takemyhand: thanks that makes me feel a little better… but a little part of me keeps wondering if I didn’t try hard enough to visit/get my FI to visit the in-laws on each side. But I just have to remind myself that my FI hasn’t even seen his own parents in about 3 years.
Post # 5
I didn’t meet my future mother in law until after FI and I were engaged. He met my parents after about six months of dating, but it took almost two years – and a ring! – before I met his mom.
Post # 6
How long have you been together? I guess it might make sense in an older couple scenario where you have a shorter engagement. We’re in our 30s, together 4 years before the wedding, so yeah, we met everyone in the family, not just the inlaws before marrying.
Downside, you could be getting terrors and not know it. Upside, if you’ve avoided them a while, then you can continue to do so post wedding with luck. 🙂
Post # 7
It depends — how long have you been together? A few months or a few years? If you’ve been a couple for a year or two (or longer), then I’d say it’s extremely unusual not to have met each other’s family by now.
If you’ve only been together a short time, I can see how something like this could have happened.
FWIW DH introduced me to his family after a month or so, but then we all lived in the same town. I introduced him to various members of my family when they came to my city – pretty much all within the first year of meeting each other.
Anyway, getting back to your situation — you gave some very good reasons (jobs, logistics, distances) for why everyone hasn’t met yet. I wouldn’t worry about it. When it finally happens I’m sure it will all work out fine.
Congratulations on your upcoming marriage!
Post # 8
@Woodstock: ahh dont worry too much i havent met my FI father and my FI has not met my father they both live up north ; (
Post # 9
I don’t think it is *that* strange. I did meet my inlaws before we were engaged, but my mother in law I didn’t meet until a few months before we got engaged and only then because she decided on her own to come visit us. If she hadn’t I probably wouldn’t have met her until we traveled to NY for her wedding which was a few mo before ours (and only the 2nd time I’d ever seen her). I think the distance makes it understandable.
Although I have to say… I would probably make an effort to get everyone met before the wedding if it was me. It just seems like it’d be more comfortable at the rehearsal/wedding if you weren’t worrying about first impressions. I’d probably suck it up and either make the drive to both your parents’ places or just pay for a flight.
Post # 10
I don’t think it’s that strange. I’ve never met my FI mother, and I’m better off not ever getting the chance to meet her. I’ve met his dad, but he moved to England two years ago, and only just came back and is watching my FI’s sisters place while she’s in Afghanistan. I’ve never met my FSIL either, and once again, it’s not likely. His family all left the east coast and have no intentions of ever coming back.
My FI met my family the first day we were dating, he ended up staying with me the whole week he was in town for vacation.
Post # 11
I’ve met mine, but haven’t spent a whole lot of time with them. I barely know them.
Post # 12
@Andr0meda: we’ll be dating 2 years when we get married (6-7mo long engagement). we talked for a couple of months before we started dating though. I mean I know a lot about his family since he calls his parents pretty much every day and I’m around to hear the convos and occasionally put my $.02 into their convos.
Honestly I don’t really have the time or money to visit the inlaws before the wedding.. I may be able to squeeze in a flight for a weekend… BUT my FI wouldn’t be able to do it and I’m not sure I want to meet his family in BFE (my family is in BFE as well just a different part of the country BFE) by myself! He just got a new job so he’s lucky to be getting 4 days of work off for the wedding. UNPAID. unless he makes up his hours (he doesnt get vacay benefits until 6 mos after working) Ugh I really wish I could meet them before… its just not that practical. but from what you all are saying it’s not a HUGE MAJOR deal just gets rid of some stress.
Post # 13
I met my in-laws the 3rd weekend my boyfriend and I were dating. Well, to be truthful, I met his Dad & Step-mom first and then I met his Mom, Grandmom, Uncle, Sister & Brother-in-law a few weekends later. I was greeted with hugs and kisses on the cheek by his Dad & Step-Mom which was a nice surprise as I wasn’t expecting that. They are the coolest, most laid back people I’ve ever met. They’re a joy to be around and I love spending time with them. I loved meeting his Grandmom and Uncle, they’re nice people and I enjoy talking with them.
His Mom, Sister & Brother-in-law on the other hand, not so much. They’re very uninviting…wait, I take that back, his Mom & Sister are extreme attention whores. If ANY, and I mean ANY gathering is not about them, they make it about them. It’s not cool. His Mom wants everything her way, and his sister is slowly following suit. I was told by my ‘future’ father-in-law that he wouldn’t be surprised if his Mom tries to take over when we do get engaged/married. I put my foot down last night when this was told to me, because well, I’d rather have MY Mom try to take over than his. My Mom is at least fun…especially when she’s been drinking. LOL.
ETA: It isn’t very odd…sometimes life happens that way. Like my sister, sister-in-law, and I all say “When life hands you lemons, grab the tequilla and salt and have a parrrrttaaayyy!!!”
Post # 14
@boocherry825: I love that phrase! Best one EVER!!!!!
Post # 15
SO met my family after we had been dating for 3 days/the night of our first date and I met his after 10 days. However, we were in high school so it probably isn’t too surprising!
Post # 16
It’s unusual but not unheard of. I’ve met my in-laws but there will still be a somewhat interesting dynamic at our wedding because our families haven’t met at all. I think it’s just part of the reality of joining two families…and hey, nothing brings people together like a party, right?