- 5 years ago
- Wedding: December 1969
I post here often so I felt that I needed to go anonymous. I have been married a little under 3 months, we have lived together for 3 years and have been together a total of 4 yeaers.
It seems like we fight more now that we are married, then when we were just BF and GF. I really thought that being married would bring us closer but it somehow the opposite has happened. He blames me for all our fights and I really dont feel like they are all my fault.
Our fights are about sex, kissing, the words I love You, and desire. Yes, our fights are about things that dont cost him a thing. I want more love, I want more sex, I want more passion, I want to be kissed, I want to be told I love you and that I am beautiful.
Last night we snuck into our bedroom to have sex early in the evening (kids in the house) and then we had some wine and watched some tv. I asked him when we were off to bed if we can have round two and he flipped out. He said that I am not satisfied or why else would I be wanting to have sex again. I tried to explain to him that I am in love with him and that is why I want him all the time. I tried to explain that wanting more sex is a good thing and not a blow to him.
I dont know what to do. Do I stay with a love a man who aside from the lack of passion, sex and TLC, is the best man I have ever known. He works hard, helps me take care of my kids from a previous marraige, respects me and is very generous. Aside from this argument we seem to have over and over again, he is amazing but I have needs that are not being met and I am going crazy.
I have suggested counceling and books but he wont go. I have read books like 5 Languages of love or Passionate Marraige but if I am the only one that wants things to change, they do me no good. He says we have a good life, what more do I want.
I am feeling so alone and not to mention that all my friends dont call me anymore, they are all mostly single or divorced so I dont hear from them much. Sometimes I feel like I will end up having an affair and I dont want to do that.
What do I need to do to make him hear me and I mean really hear me. Our first year of marriage sucks and I am afraid we wont make it. I guess maybe I am just not worth it to him. I dont understand why it is so hard for him to give me the things that I need and are so wonderful like kissing, hugging, sex, and telling the person you claim to love that you love them more often. 🙁