Am I the only one?! Secret-ish weddin

posted 3 years ago in Elopement
Post # 2
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

Make sure whatever you do, it’s what you really want. A city hall wedding could be lovely if it’s what makes you happy. Certainly you should not be getting headaches or chest pains thinking about what’s suppsed to be a wonderful day!

Post # 3
Member
4904 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Oh my.  I am so sorry you’re going through this.  I don’t have a similar story, but if your family’s horrid behavior is causing you this much stress, eloping may be your best option.

Post # 4
Member
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Don’t plan your wedding based on what other people want/do. Take time and decide if this is really what you want, or because you’re feeling stressed. If it’s really what you want, hit up city hall, girl! 🙂

Post # 6
Member
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

anon_bee87:  we postponed our wedding five months before the date and cancelled everything we’d booked. now that we are planning a new wedding, a different one, I’ve realised that all those little decor details and things to do with guests, venues etc were all me doing what I wanted but also what I thought everyone else wanted. The guest list went from 25 to 45 because we had to please people, but even at that not everyone who wanted to be invited or thought they should be were. I’ve learned you can’t please everyone. My aunt recently said to me even if we had 500 people there there’d still be someone with their nose out of joint. So family feuds and dramas aside we are now inviting only those WE want, and I am being walked down the aisle by who I want and we’re celebrating it how we want. It’s much simpler and special I think and more about US than the big circus weddings and wedding planning can turn into. So do what you want, it is your wedding. You can’t please everyone. If you want to go to city hall do it, but don’t do it because of the stress from others. Decide what you really want as your wedding and ignore everyone else, you’re the bride it is your special day.

Post # 7
Member
1108 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

We are eloping.  People know that we’re engaged but we have not said one word about when we’re going to City Hall. We don’t want the fanfare and stress that accompanies a wedding. 

Post # 8
Member
4767 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I lost my dad when I was 16, and my mom when I was 12. My boyfriend lost his mom when he was 17. We are eloping so we don’t have to deal with the fact the main people in our life arent there. It sounds like eloping would be the best for you.

Post # 9
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I’m biased here pro-elopement but let’s see…

You know eloping is right for you when in no particular order:

1. The thought of a conventional wedding makes you break out in hives, reach for Xanax or gives you nightmares.

2. You have a social phobia.

3. The thought of entering the church, reception venue or whatever with the spotlight on you causes serious angst.

4. You DONT want family or friends there for whatever reason.

5. You want to make it about you and DH only.

6. …uhhh I ran out of pseudo witty things to say help!

ok back to OP exclusively, only elope if that’s what you and your FI truly want. Sit down with him and ask him if it were only up to him who would he invite? Then do the same thought exercise with yourself. You two could have a very small wedding, an elopement, a City Hall wedding followed by a lunch/early dinner with your nearest and dearest, the options are limitless! Don’t elope because that gets you out of trouble with SOME family members, bc of societal rebelliousness, etc. 

Here’s an article on City Hall weddings that made me rethink getting married IN City Hall although we still eloped:

Damn I can’t find it!

and here’s an article PRO City Hall weddings that captures the beauty of them: 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marta-segal-block/how-i-learned-to-love-cit_b_5076392.html 

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