Am I The Only One Who Isn't Providing Childcare?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1466 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@Equine_Breeder:  I think it’s a nice thing to do if you want but you don’t have to! I definitely won’t have a kids table because the kids will mostly be ages 1-6 and most of them are too young to sit away from their parents. And I don’t want to have to worry about the liability of a babysitter for the kids. I think they’ll have a great time! I have rarely been to a wedding where there was a babysitter. Parents might appreciate it but I would honestly be nervous leaving my kids with a babysitter I’d never met before even if the bride made sure they were good and everything. 

So long story short… no worries! I think it’s totally acceptable to do what you’re doing! And also very classy to include the kids 🙂

Post # 4
3249 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Equine_Breeder:  If they want their children babysat so they can enjoy the party, they should hire a babysitter and come alone.  Kids are invited to our wedding, but I will NOT be offering PB&J on the menu we are diligently customsing with the chef.

Post # 6
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@Equine_Breeder:  I feel like if a parent brings their children to a wedding they should have the responsibility to make sure they’re fed and entertained.

My feelings exactly.  However, there are lots of parents out there who ignore or refuse to supervise their children in public.  I think the brides providing childcare would like to either have a childfree wedding but can’t due to various reasons or they want to provide the childcare so their guests can enjoy the evening without having to cater to their kids all night.

Most of the weddings I have attending in the last 10 years have not been very kid-friendly.  I also don’t understand why some parents can’t enjoy an evening out drinking and dancing without their kids there.  Honestly, I plan for my guests to be ridiculously drunk and probably behaving very inappropriately so I hope none of my guests bring kids because the parents will probably leave early or have their kids be exposed to some adult language and situations they have to explain later.

Post # 7
1372 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

We invited AND encouraged our friends and family to bring their children to our DW. We felt our wedding was a family event and that it should be inclusive of well–our entire family. Others (usually people who weren’t invited) felt it was necessary to add their $.02 and encourage us to provide childcare for the reception, so the parents could have a “good time”. Um…no.

Post # 8
7025 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Equine_Breeder:  I’m a parent and I wouldn’t expect childcare it wasn’t mentioned. Whether it’s at the park, the mall, church, or a wedding, I expect to supervise my kids unless I am told childcare is provided. Whether all parents think like this, I cannot say.

I would however expect it to be mildly kid friendly. e.g. If kids are invited, I would expect there to be a place I could take them if they get noisy during the ceremony, or you to not care if they make a noise.

BTW someone asked about a kids’ table a few weeks ago, and most people (including me) said it’s better to sit kids with their parents.

Post # 9
1715 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I’m inviting kids even though I don’t want to for money reasons because there are a lot of little ones on our list but I love like half of them and if you invite some you have to invite all.  I already am hurting financially because of all of them and the idea of adding the cost of someone to watch them just makes me sick.  Ugh I can’t afford that!  If parents don’t want to watch their kids they can leave them at home, it’s not my job to make sure their kids are watched over.

Post # 11
1040 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

We’re inviting kids, but not having childcare. I think it’s the parents responsibility to look after their kids, and if they want an evening off then it’s their responsibility to hire a baby sitter. It’s a nice gesture to provide childcare but it’s by no means mandatory. 

Post # 12
1560 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Equine_Breeder:  We are having about 15-20 kids aged 2 months-11 years old. I am not going out of my way to tend to their every whim.  They will sit at the adult tables and their parents will care for them. I remember going to weddings as a kid and there was no baby-sitter, no special meals, nada. Our entertainment was dancing! All of these kids are family members, and I know they will not be underfoot or causing problems.

Post # 13
10748 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

Nope, that’s all on their parents. Take care of your kid or if you don’t want to, don’t bring them! 

Post # 14
2315 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I am having children at my wedding and the only “child-only”  items are the goody bags for the children! I am having child-friendly activities like outdoor games and a bouncy castle, but adults can enjoy those too!

I sent out a letter to the parents in the invites explaining that there would be child-friendly activities and that they will be responsible for their children at all times! I don’t mind having children at my wedding but I haven’t gone too expensive with providing for them. 

Post # 15
3217 posts
Sugar bee

@alyssaC:  There is no etiquette expert who endorses the you invite one, you invite all. Inviting by level of closeness is perfectly polite versus a blanket rule. 

Post # 16
1527 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I am having kids sit with their parents, and being very careful who else sits at that table (I dont want to force kids on people who are not kid-friendly). 

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