Am I the only one who thinks registries are tacky?

posted 3 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
9533 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Demanding gifts is rude.

Making your guests lives easier by suggesting things you would like is not.

If you don’t like registries then don’t have one. No big deal. Just be prepared for a dozen cut glas candy bowls.

 

Post # 4
Member
3199 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@JenGirl:  +1

i’d be so disappointed if i got invited to a wedding and they didn’t have a registry or three! my favorite part of attending a wedding is perusing the couple’s registry and picking out something they would love and i would love to give them to help start their new lives together.

giving cash, to me, is extremely impersonal. i would be so bummed.

Post # 5
Member
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Yea no a registry for me is a way to somewhat garauntee I’m not going to receive 100 of the same item or type of item. For one, everyone but one person would be wasting their money.

Post # 6
Member
1414 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

I wouldn’t call it tacky. I love looking at a couples registry when I go to buy a wedding gift. 

Post # 7
Member
866 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@KC-2722:  I registered because it was expected of us from our guests (family and friends).  I, personally, appreciate it when a couple registers so I don’t have to play any guessing games.  It makes it alot easier on everyone.  I think it has evolved into an acceptable wedding tradition.

If people are offended by my registry, they don’t have to use it.  Furthermore, if they don’t want to bring a gift, that is also fine.  We aren’t getting married to recieve gifts.  We are getting married because we love each other and we are inviting people because they are important to us and we want to share our happiness with them.

Post # 8
Member
4441 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@KC-2722:  You are definitely not the only bride that doesn’t register, there are plenty if you check out other posts.

 

I think of registries as a convenience for guests that want to give a gift, not everyone wants to just give cash, they want to wrap something up beautifully (maybe that’s just me being a dork for wrapping paper!).  And given the amount of weird personalized stuff we got I’m glad we provided a registry for people to follow.

 

Do you also not believe in birthday or Christmas lists?  Knowing what someone wants makes it a lot easier to buy for them!

Post # 9
Member
312 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@KC-2722:  I’m not sure I think they’re tacky, per se — registries that request household items are pretty much standard by now, and tacky implies, to me, bad taste that is unusual — but I do think they’re mildly grabby, in a way that makes me uncomfortable.

I would prefer not to have one, but every.single.person I’ve mentioned this to (many of whom are etiquette mavens) have said it’s a bad idea, because people will want to give gifts, and if I don’t have a registry, I’ll end up having to return a lot of identical or unneeded household items. A couple of them have suggested I specify the whole “gift of your presence” bit, set up a registry and do not advertise it in an way, and let guests who insist on giving a present hunt down the registry by asking my mother or MOH.

This seems like a good compromise to me.

Post # 10
Member
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Dont have one. It seems simple to me.

Registries exist for a reason whether you (or I or anyone else) likes them or not. You can request no gifts if you really want nothing bc, if not, guests will give you something anyway. 

Post # 11
Member
3156 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think it’s tacky to advertise your wedding registry.  Keep in mind that most of your guests won’t find it tacky and that you will probably get gifts that you don’t want and won’t be able to return.  Just a thought.

Post # 12
Member
1179 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think it just makes it easier for guests if they want to buy you a gift.  Although I don’t think you should ask for a gift or expect to receive a gift.

Post # 13
Member
341 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

We registered but for us its tradional to just ask the parents, however i’m seeing the use of registries now common in my extended family. I guess its just bracing technology. I would of never registered if i didnt get ask all the time, do you have one from friends and family. It was easier to say check out this page… The wedding isn’t about gifts but people do want to give you something to show their love.

Post # 14
Member
3156 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@gelaine22:  Good point.

 

All these people who swear “I don’t want gifts!  I don’t expect my guests to get me anything!” should put “Your presence is present enough.” on your invitations.  You know you secretly want gifts!  Wink

Post # 15
Member
2474 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

No, it’s not tacky. People want to give you stuff for your wedding (whether you like it or not). Might as well provide a list of the things you’d prefer than get a bunch of junk. 

Post # 16
Member
6407 posts
Bee Keeper

I kind of find them tacky, “dictating your own gifts” and all, but they’re really common, so I don’t judge too much.

If a couple gets angry because a guest dared to give them something they didn’t list among their wants, I judge that very harshly! But I try not to assume that when I simply see that a couple has a registry.

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