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As hard as this is for me to write, I'm gonna do it!
If there are ANY REAL PLUS size brides on here, I mean size 20+, what did you do when it was time to look for a dress? Bridal salons don't carry very many, if at all. Then there's the selection. Even David's Bridal that has a WOMENs size section (I hate that) doesn't carry that many. Don't I get to TRY on my dream dress?
Are plus size women not supposed to marry and have fairytale weddings?
Just wondering...must I resort to imaging what that dress on the internet will look like on me and then just order it and hope for the best.
Venting and hoping there might be ONE or two others that have suggestions.
Thanks in advance!!
Size 18 here. And yes, most of the dresses in the store are for little brides. My dress is a Mori Lee and has a lace up corset. It's a REAL corset and not one of those decorative corsets that really have a zipper and is only there to look pretty. I tried on the dress and it didn't fit, (a size 10) but gave me the general idea of what it would look like. When I ordered it (get ready for this) I had to order a size 24! Now I've never fit into a 24 in all my life, but the measurements really were sized for my 18. (which I'm trying to lose 10 more lbs and I'll be a 16... I just can't seem to get there!!)
I loathe David's Bridal. (and make no secret of it) Try going to a real Bridal Salon. Someplace that will take YOU into consideration and not try to heard you through like cattle. That's what I did and it was wonderful!
I'm a size 20 here. Surprisingly enough though, my wedding dress is an 18!
I bought a David's Bridal dress. I was very fortunate that my DB had a ton of dresses in their plus size section - I had about 15 dresses to choose from! It was pretty exciting. It must vary store to store? It doesn't help that I live in one of the fattest states in the union.
I'm sorry that I have no real advice, but just know that you're not alone out there! I thought it would be depressing to try on a dress, and I just knew I'd look huge and like a marshmellow, but I didn't (as far as everyone tells me!) Don't give up!
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Au contraire, my dear - I am most definitly a curvy girl. (Around 24 bottoms and 16-18 tops, I'm an extreme pear.) When I started planning my wedding, the idea of shopping for a dress could nearly put me into a meltdown.
I didn't want to be embarrassed at a regular salon so honestly, I skipped most of them except for window shopping. I couldn't bear the thought of being squeezed into a dress that wouldn't zip, or worse, buying something that was held up to me and I had to "imagine." I did the DB thing, and was also very dissapointed with my options. I decided to go the custom dress route. Before you assume it's out of your price range, know that most dressmakers can work within your budget, whatever it is.
I got quotes from a handfull of designers in my area, and they were all super reasonable. I'm working with a fantastic designer here in Seattle (Kiko House of Couture,) and he stuck to my exact budget. His labor was about $600, and the rest was fabric and supplies. Mine is on the expensive side ($1800) but I've seen other dresses he's made for $700-$1000 and they're all gorgeous.
Sigh... I totally understand the frustration... I love weddingbee, and I even applied to join... But... I do sometimes feel like there isn't really plus size respresentation here. I wish there were more of us around (and I definitly wish it had been me writing for all of us, hehe!) ;) I think that plus size brides are often seen as needing their own niche, almost like our dress shopping problem can't be discussed side by side with flower problems or vendor issues, which is too bad. I'd be happy to share any curvy bride resources I have, if you'd like.
I wish you the very best of luck. It might be tough at times, but it'll be worth it. Know that you're not alone and that all of us who have been through it are supporting you. :) You'll be beautiful on your wedding day no matter what.
I weaar an 18, and my dress is a 20.
I tried on things at David's Bridal (though their plus-size selection was SMALL) and then at Bridesmart in Illinois (where I'm from and where the wedding is) and it was much better there.
In the end, I found several dresses I like, and then bought one very similar in style on eBay, and I love it!
Hang in there!! You are not alone! If you can get to a Bridesmart (I think they might be called Alfred Angelo now) I recommend it.
My sister is a size 26 and when she got married a few years ago I went with her to all of her bridal appointments... and MAN was it frustrating. I totally feel your pain.
Eventually she found a shop (in Buffalo, NY) that had a great selection of plus size dresses on the rack and she got a beautiful dress and they didn't treat her like crap.
Do you use the Knot message boards? Maybe you should post on your local knot board and ask for recommendations of good bridal salons with plus size dresses in stock.
Or you could always consider finding a seamstress and having a custom dress made. Then it will be exactly what you want and you'll be able to try on the muslim "mock up" before the real dress is made.
You're not around Chicago are you? I ask because there was a great custom design shop here that I went to called Dame Couture and they said they work with a lot of plus size brides because of their frustration with other bridal salons.
If you're not near Chicago... maybe there is a similar place near you.
Good luck!
~ Mrs. Radish
Thanks, ladies!!! I'm out the door for a weekend trip, but can't wait to read all your responses when I return.
Thanks again!!
You might try hopping on manolobig.com. I know they've posted a couple of times about wedding gowns for women who aren't size 4s. You can also email them to ask for specific suggestions...HTH!
Girl you are soooo not alone! I'm an 18.
I seriously cried the first time I went to try on dresses... I fell in love with a dress from priscilla of boston so I wanted to go check it out... I WAS SOOO f-in upset and embarassed first b/c they didn't have a bra that fit me... then they brought shoes that were awful... then I'm standing there in my drawers in a bra that soooo doesn't fit and then they put a size like 8 up against me with my hips and ass on the outside of the silhouette of the dress... talk about embarassing.
I bought a dress from lanebryant.com and it fit true to size...
Then I just said screw it because I wanted something like the priscilla of boston for my wedding but not 4 GRAND! So I am having it made.
I know you said size 24 and up....but I do still understand your frustration! I am a size 14, my dress is a 14 too, but only because it has a corset. And she tightens it to the point of me being unable to breathe just so it looks like I have a waist. But even getting to try on a dress that fit a 14 was impossible. most of the dresses were a size 8-10. and some places really aren't nice about it. Dress shopping was very disconcerting. especially when there were these skinny little girls there who looked fantastic in everything, and they had to clip in the dress to make it fit. SO annoying! Really, I ended up just having to imagine what the too small dress would look like on me. and honestly, when it came in, i didn't love it. but I have since grown to love me in my dress, this is my body, my FI loves me as I am, so whatever. Honestly, I can't imagine having to find something if I was even a little bigger....I just don't get it when the majority of women are a size 10-12 and dresses run 1-2 sizes small, and if little people can fit into the bigger dresses anyway, why the hell they can't provide average size sample dresses to make it work for everyone!
YAY dreambml!!!!! I totally hear ya! Annnd... let add one more layer to this cake. Try being a plus sized OLDER bride. I'm 44. Yes.. do you hear me??? 44. And I've waited my whole life to find the right person and have my dream wedding and here I am. Sorry I am not in my 20's or even early 30's, but I have just as much right as anyone else getting married to participate in Bridal Fairs, shopping, etc. without someone saying "Oh YOU'RE the Bride?!?!" or asking me if I'm the MOB.
Geez! (sorry for my rant.. but you totally made me feel like "I am woman! Hear me roar!)
yeah - i'm a street size 8-10 and i still have a problem fitting into some dresses in the bridal salons. these shops need to get a clue, for realz.
I totally empathize, man. I'm a 12/14, and strapping on these dresses (I mean literally strapping) in a salon was unbearable. I felt like a sausage stuffed in a straw. When I finally bought my dress, they made me get a size 20, and they charged $400 extra for sizes 16 and up. At the time, I felt like a wounded animal, my girly properties man-handled into these dresses. So naturally, I felt like the manufacturer was punishing me for being a 747 instead of a DC-10. Bridal salons need to get with the program and cater to a wider audience (no pun intended).
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hi i'm usually a 10-12 in dresses, but when i bought my dress they put me in a 16w. at first i was a little worried when going gown shopping, because of the sizing issue, but they take the largest measurement and go with that. for me it was my bust, 38-40, and i don't have huge boobs, just a large rib cage. i'm sure what ever you find you'll look great in it, as long as you feel like a princess. you'll know when you try it on :)
i went for my first dress shopping experience this past monday.
i picked Davids Bridal bc i was hoping they would have more of a plus size selection.
Abosolutely nothing that i wanted to try on was available in my size. not even close enough for me to squeeze.
i was surrounded by skinny girls, twirling around in their gowns and i was stuck trying on whatever was in my size, which sucked immensely.
it was all i could do not to cry as i stood in my small dressing room cold in a bra that didnt fit waiting for the consultant to find anything in my size to try on.
<span class="postby">GetMarried4Less have you tried Alfred Angelo? I heard they have some nice styles there. Even at a 14, I feel so much bigger that regular girls. I considered AA but ended up getting my dress at DB. Good luck!
Hey there. Try going to Shapely Prose... the ladies there are faboo and may have wonderful suggestions.
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no youre def not the only one...
i ended up ordering an 18 - but i wear a size 14 in jeans and other clothes...
the sample size - yeah that biotch was a size 6... whatevs - i ordered it anyway and it's just as i imagined it would look...
still pretty frustrating tho...
I'm a size 26/28, and with my dress shopping, I went to the fabulous, Alfred Angelo.
I got a dress in a size 26, which is a true lace up corset and it's beautiful. It's strapless and I think it's going to work out just fine.
It is very frustrating to look for things when you're a curvy girl. And I feel you when you think that somehow we're not entitled to enjoy our wedding in the same way as everyone else (that isn't fluffy) does. Not true!
Praise your curves and demand service! David's Bridal doesn't care about you being big, they just want your money. So, they threw in some bigger sizes to "silence" us. I'll pass. They're quality is poor and so is their service.
Don't dispair! Feel free to email me if you need support or suggestions!
Plus size bride here too, size 18! Actually, I'm so nervous about dress shopping that I've been putting it off (luckily I've had a long engagement of 2 years- thought it's 1.5 now) until I lose some weight. However, I will never be a size 6 and able to fit into the sample sizes no matter what. I have heard so many horror stories about plus size dress shopping, and I know I am going to have to call all the salons in my area to find out if they even carry ANY dresses in my size. I figure that my game plan will be to go to David's to see if they have any dresses in my size to figure out what styles I like and then either custom make my dress or order one from a bridal salon. Either way, I definitely understand where you are coming from! Good luck!
Oh and if anyone knows any good bridal salons in the NYC area that actually carry plus size dresses, any advice would be appreciated!
I am a Bee. And I am a plus size. A real plus size. I am a 16...you know...that size that you can never find in stores because they only go up to 14...
I absolutely understand your situation and empathize. My dress was an Alfred Angelo and it laced up the back. The one thing I wish I had taken into consideration was having a sweethart neckline so that my juggs wouldn't look like such a shelf.
Oh, and DB made me cry.
Best of luck!!
Don't be put off--keep trying! I too sent myself into tizzies after first being engaged. The dress shopping was the thing I dreaded the most. I wear a street size 16W, which really means that I need a 20-22 wedding gown. :-(
In addition to David's, Encore Bridal online has some larger sizes, as does preownedweddingdresses.com. I have to tell you, though, that David's Bridal stores vary, so you might find more larger sizes at a different shop. Also, call around to the bridal stores you want to visit and ask whether they have larger size samples to try on and which designers they carry.
Blush, in Gainesville, VA had lots of great things that fit me.
I haven't bought my dress yet but I have found several that I've really loved. I could get myself into a sample size 10 or 12 in most cases and the good salons have lots of assorted "hardware" (binder clips, rubber bands, clamps, etc.) to pull the dress closed so you get an idea of what it will look like in your size. I know that's not the same as slipping a dress on and going out to twirl around in front of everyone, but just think--you'll be able to do that at your first fitting if you really want to.
While I really didn't have a problem with most of the dresses I tried on, I did notice that A LOT of the larger-size samples were pretty dumpy. Big, ornate, ostentatious beading, TONS of fabric, lacy sleeves. Stuff that hasn't been in style in a very long time, and generally not the direction most larger women should be going in (in my humble opinion--the more fabric, the greater the chance of you looking like you're being attacked by a snow monster). That was disappointing. But, if you are willing to use your imagination just a little and step into those smaller samples, you'll probably find something a lot more current. Most designers will go up to a size 24, some even to size 32!
Also, my bridesmaids, who were shopping for their dresses, are bigger girls. They had more trouble than I did. The dresses they were trying on weren't so full in the skirt, so it was harder to get them on.
One warning: there is almost always an upcharge for larger sizes. In a way, I understand it. You need more fabric to construct a larger dress. But at the same time, it's kind of depressing and unfair. So, beware that a dress in your size might cost $200-400 more for higher-end designers, depending on how ornate and detailed the fabric is.
Finally, when all else fails, do not hesitate to ask your consultant if there is anyone who works in the store that can wear a sample size, or if there are other bridesmaids around who might fit into a dress, you could ask them to try the dress on so you can see how it is supposed to fit. I know this sounds kind of humiliating, but you would be surprised at the reaction from the girls we asked to do this (twice on our marathon shopping excursion last weekend)--they were happy to oblige, and I got to see where the curves of the dress were supposed to be, and get a clearer picture of what it would really look like on me. Not the same as slipping it on all the way, but it was a good substitute.
As a side note to EastportBride's post. Alfred Angelo is the only manufacturer that I know of that did away with the "bigger size upcharge" they changed their policy this past year. I have several plus size bridesmaids and that's why I chose Alfred Angelo. Why should we be punished? No one gives a discount to the smaller brides who don't use as much fabric! Why should we pay more? And Alfred Angelo does have beautiful dresses.
I too had problems and even some anxiety about my dress shopping (street size 16). I went to ton of salons looking for the right dress….. David’s Bridal was out, too many bad things I have heard about their services. After “trying on” about 20 dresses, (holding some of them up, I have a very ample bosom, 38H) I could then understand what style looked best on me. I knew I wanted a simple no beads or lace dress and something like straps to keep the dress up. The worst part was the service I got from these salons. I had almost given up when the third place in a row tried to put me in a MOB matronly dress. Just because I’m a little thick around the bones doesn’t mean I want to look like I am wearing a tent.
I walked into the last bridal salon and they carried up to size 24, yeah! The owner was honest from the beginning, about what style and even color would compliment my size and Irish complexion. I ended up just ordering a size 22! Mori Lee dress sight unseen at that salon from a catalogue. Scary, I know…but I followed my gut and everything turned out.
So like others suggested stay away from evil bridal chains, and perhaps have the dress custom made by a designer just for you, and follow your instinct. No matter what, your friends and family, especially your fiancé love the way you look. You will look and be beautiful bride! Good luck!
Mrs. Kiwi had a great post a little while ago:
http://www.weddingbee.com/2008/01/07/my-regret/
Good luck.
i'm not sure why db gets a bad rap. i ended getting my dress at db in orange, ca and they were really helpful. it also could of been because they weren't that busy. anyhow, they had a large selection in plus sizes. again, i guess it just depends where you go. i doubt monique lluhlier would have plus size if you went there, but just try on ALOT of dresses. i went in thinking i want this certain style, and it looked just horrible on me, keep an open mind and you never know, a look you thought you couild never pull off could be the one that looks the best on you!
I didn't realize they measured you at the widest part. I've been putting off dress shopping too. I have to do it within the next month. I'm planning on wearing a Sophie by http://www.rhymecouture.com/. But I promised my FMIL that I would go dress shopping with her. Ugh. I'm a 34 DD but a 14 everywhere else. Do they make Turtleneck Spanx?
MissRojoOso, sophie is beautiful! What is turtleneck spanx, is it spanx for the neck?
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Like enmoore mentioned, I am a plus sized gal: I think it was a 23? I don't even remember, but I do know it was a miserable day.
I also posted this: http://www.weddingbee.com/2007/02/24/heres-the-truth/
From experience I have to tell you to fight how bad you may feel at trying on gowns in sizes too small, find the dress you LOVE!!
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I saw your post and imagine my delight that you are from Silver Spring!
There is a bridal salon in Columbia, MD (called the Columbia Bridal Shop) that has a plus sized section of really nice dresses, ranging from slightly nicer than David's to A LOT nicer than David's. The people there are pretty nice, as long as you have an appointment, and will let you take pictures and stuff.
They don't have an enormous selection (probably like, 20 dresses or so), but the stuff that they had was pretty nice, and they do have the size 10 samples, etc. that you can also try on.
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Ahhhh, the trials and tribulations of being plus-sized seems so magnified when wedding-related, don't they??? I'm an 18/20 and was not looking forward to dress shopping at all. This is my second (and final!) wedding and I remembered how humiliating the process was the first time around. Round one I had gone into every fancy, mid-range and neighborhood bridal salon in the Westchester County and Main Line area - many places were flat out rude in that they didn't deal with "plus-size" brides. I was a size 12/14 at the time.
This time around I didn't want to go the traditional wedding gown route anyway and was thinking about going custom but my mom and bf talked me into a run to DB. We went to the Plymouth Meeting location with very low expectations and I left that night with a very simple, extremely lovely wedding gown.
Finding sexy/pretty wedding night lingerie, "Mrs." panties and the like was also next to impossible in plus-sizes.
I'm a street size 18 and my dress from David's Bridal was a 16.
I had a really good experience at DB though.
This is exactly why I love Wedding Bee! I'm a 24 normally - my dress is a 26. I've said for years that I just need to get back down to my college weight. Puh-lease. I agree with all of the ladies that have already suggested Alfred Angelo and individual bridal stores. I knew I didn't want a huge dress (aka the snow monster - that was a great description) and the store I went to suggested a bridesmaid dress in white. They also suggested adding 6 inches in the length to make a "mock" train from it. These were the best suggestions I've heard - I will be scheduling my first fitting this week!
Good luck and if there are other brides out there that want to trade suggestions - I'd love to!!
Not to completely discount, David's Bridal -- but some shops that they have -- have ZERO respect to plus size brides.
I went to the one in Orange, CA and they were better. But the one in Costa Mesa, CA was HORRID. They wouldn't help me and told me that I couldn't even LOOK at the dresses, because I'd "smudge them up". WHAT!?
I knew I had to go with Alfred Angelo, because they offer all kinds of sales, great service and classy reps. Plus, they had a much larger selection of styles that DB ever had. Why? Because DB LIES. They say they have a size 24/26 for some of their styles but they don't. They don't even MAKE them. They're catalog says they have them, but they didn't even manufacture any. Ridiculous.
However, I see a lot of brides saying that they are a "true" plus size with being a size 14, 16 or 18. Not that I think you're not in the same category, but I think the OP was saying about brides OVER 18 and at least 20+ -- that's where the real challenge kicks in.
I'd vote for trying Alfred Angelo if only because they're one of the only dress lines I've seen that actually has advertisements that feature plus-sized brides. That definitely sends the message that their goal is to make everybody feel gorgeous.
I know that for a lot of brides dress shopping is the most exciting part of the planning process, but not for me. When he asked I was a 20, and I carry all my weight around the middle, so I'm not even cute and curvy. Since then I've dropped to a 16 but still I was sweating bullets when I finally dragged myself to the dress shop. Trying on dresses 10 sizes too small, ordering a dress 2-3 sizes bigger than your normal size, having the whole world see you in your skivvies and spanx - not pleasant if you ask me.
But, I found a dress I love. Granted I don't yet know what it looks like done up, and I plan on being sucked and tucked with lycra on the big day - but don't forget that he loves you the way you are, that you are gorgeous and wonderful!
We don't buy into the idea that you need to go into an incredible amount of debt to have a beautiful wedding, why buy into the idea that there is only one standard of beauty?
All the best.
Another plus-size girl chiming in here... You're not alone!!
When I read your post, my first thought was, "Geez, my friends are going to read this and think I've moved on to complaining on WeddingBee now..." It sounds exactly like me!
Hang in there... I went to probably 9 bridal shops, cried in some but also had a few exceptional experiences. Call ahead and ask them if they really do have dresses in sizes 20 and up. I've had places come back with a count for me because the second dress shop I went to claimed they did--turns out they had TWO!
Ok, I'm not going to complain. :) Just trying to think about what's helpful. I totally understand about DB and although I went there and they had a good selection, I didn't *love* any of the dresses and the service was bad. I had a posse there helping me so it didn't matter so much that the attendant person wasn't.
I ended up finding a specifically plus size shop that opened January 1st (I think my appointment was for the 3rd!) and that was a great experience, although since they were just starting out, they only had 8 dresses. For anyone in Minnesota, it's Rubenesque Bridal in Savage (very close to Burnsville tho). The owner, Cynthia, is super sweet. I didn't end up getting a dress there though--I just didn't love any of the dresses I tried.
I pretty much knew that I was not going to be able to hold up a dress to my body or have it hanging off of me and order it based on that. I flat out refused to try on dresses that *really* didn't fit. If they were a size off or something more reasonable, OK. But a size 10? Yeah right. I completely understand and agree with your desire to see yourself in the dress--I think it's important!
So, there's hope--I found my dress at a long-established reputable and locally owned bridal shop here in MN. It turns out they have a women's department! I pretty much knew the second I put the dress on that it was the one.
Funny thing is, it's also a Mori Lee (style 2108)--It looks like many other brides on this thread also found that Mori Lee worked for them!
Here is my dress and if you can believe it, I think it looks better on me!!
I really have to stop posting at 4am...I think I talk to much when I'm tired. Sleep avoidance, probably. ;)
Thanks again, ladies for all the support! I love Weddingbee!!
I go in this Saturday for my first bridal gown try-on experience at an "Alfred Angelo STORE." It's two hours away from where I live, but I'm hoping it will be worth the trip. Two of three of my bridal attendants are going with me.
Wish me luck and thanks again for all the great advice!!
I, too, am a plus-sized bride to be! I was on steroids, off and on, for a year and a half and it's been TOUGH to get the weight off! 
I am normally a 22W <---- (there is a difference between 22 and 22W) on the bottom and an 18W on top (I am about as PEAR as they come...LOL).
I went to Harrient Kassman in Washington, DC, to order my dress during an Anne Barge trunk show. I saw the dress in an ad and literally feel in love with it.
I also visited Hannelore's in Alexandria, VA, to look at dresses. Pronovias, Cassablanca, and a few others have dresses in PLUS sizes.
Yes, I am going to spend more than I anticipated for my dress, but I plan on being a bride ONCE in my lifetime and I want no regrets for our day. The majority of our budget is photography and for the reception, but I saved and am paying for my dress out of MY money (alone).
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Since it appears so many of the people who have posted on this thread are from the DC area, I thought I'd put in my two cents on the places where I had success in case you're still looking.
First, although DB has a bad rap (and for some reasons, deservedly so), I had an okay time at the one in Rockville. I tried on lots of dresses that actually fit me and I'll tell you that made the experience a lot better.
Second, Blush Bridal Boutique in Gainesville, VA had lots of dresses too that I could try on--some that were even too big (I wear a 16-18W and really need a 20 or larger)!! Their prices were very affordable too, for some really beautiful gowns.
If anyone else is looking for shopping suggestions in the DC area, let me know, I've hit A LOT of stores over the past few weeks and have good and bad things to report about each of them.
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