Am I too young to ask her to marry me??

posted 2 months ago in Engagement
Post # 31
Member
1275 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

I would wait. I got with my FI when I was just barely 18. Here we are 4 years later and it feels just as amazing as it did when we first got together. We are also planning for a long engagement. I can’t even describe how much the two of us has changed in the past four years. We aren’t even the same people that we used to be but we still compliment one another. If she’s the real deal, she will be there years from now when you are both physically and mentally mature enough to sustain a marriage. 

Post # 32
Member
557 posts
Busy bee

 Finish college first. You are too young in my opinion.

Post # 33
Member
4888 posts
Honey bee

I’d say you’re on the younger side but I got married at 22 so I don’t think that you’re that young. But I’d at least wait until you’re through college 

Post # 34
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I got engaged the day I turned 20, he was 19. People gave us (still give us) so much crap. Granted, everyone that knows who tells us our minds are about 10 years older than our bodies… It is not ALWAYS about your age, sometimes yes. I found it so insulting when people bluntly asked us if I was pregnant and that was why. But, I truly believe when you know, you know. In 6 months of dating, are you really sure you know this person though? At the time of us getting engaged we had been together for two years, living together for one. We also got engaged with the knowledge of us not INSTANTLY getting married. I’m not telling you to wait because of your age, I’m saying I think you should wait because of the combination of the short amount of time that you have been dating and your age. Date a little longer, go on some trips, move in together (if religious purposes are good with that), learn every part of your girlfriends soul and heart, talk about all your future goals, how do you want to raise any possible kids?, manage money?, grow together a little bit and in the meantime it’s fun to gush and talk about marriage. 😊

Post # 35
Member
484 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - Cottage

Dilyn : NOOOOO DONT DO IIIIIT

Post # 36
Member
2118 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Sounds like a terrible idea 

Post # 37
Member
1525 posts
Bumble bee

Dilyn :  Personally I would say wait. Not only are you young but you guys haven’t been together very long. At this point in the relationship you are in the honeymoon phase when everything is being seen through rose tinted glasses. 

Post # 38
Member
735 posts
Busy bee

Wait. Right now, you have a strong emotional bond. You need to see how that rides out the challenges of life, like bills, beliefs, and how you each see your lives unfolding. It is very common at your age to be caught up in the emotion – you’ve never felt these things before! You’ve never had a bond like this before! But what you have are emotions and potential. You need experience. You need to see what happens when you disagree. What happens when you disappoint each other? What happens when you have a big decision to make, and you disagree?

If you do end up together forever, I don’t think you will regret waiting until you have real life experience under your belt before getting married.

Post # 39
Member
329 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Live together for a while first, you learn a lot about a person by doing so and in that time you’ll get to deal with some of life’s challenges like losing loved ones and changing careers and the like.

I met Fi when I was 18 and he 22 and I was confident he was the one then. We’re now getting married at 22 and 26, I m glad we waited till now, our relationship is very strong having both dropped out of university, changed careers, moved twice and having lived together for over three years know how to work well as a team. 

 

Post # 40
Member
535 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I got married young, at 22, but I’d been with my now husband for over 5 years by then. 6 months at age 18/19 is too soon and too young in my opinion. Give it time, you can be just as happy in a couple of years time when you know yourselves better and the relationship is older. 

Post # 41
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee

Personally, I’d say wait. I didn’t want to be engaged or married at 18 even though my boyfriend at the time and I had established that we’d eventually want to be.

Have you spoken to your girlfriend? It’s good to have vague plans about marriage and children early on in your relationship to plan for the future, but through these conversations, have you two established a desired timeline? I know that when I had a relationship at 18, we talked about wanting to be married and having children. I just didn’t want it at that point yet, but I knew I would.

Post # 42
Member
2871 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

 I’m not going to say you can’t get married young or engaged. I was in fast engaged at 23 and married at 24.

However, you both have quite a bit of time to just take things slow, get adjusted to where you want to go or be at, grow together, and enjoy that time. You both are practically fresh out of high school. I wouldn’t rush it if I were you. It’s not bad to talk about it or dream about it together but still just take the time to individally and jointly develop yourselves. Marriages are hard and a big commitment. This isn’t to doubt you or her but just simply put..it would be wise to nuture yourselves before taking that leap. A lot of situations arise that really define you both (and in some cases can change you both), I suggest you take the next couple of years to really experience those things before making a legally binding commitment.

Focus on your life goals right now together (school, career aspirations) and, if you both are really looking for a bigger step in the relationship, move in together. Living together will give you a lot of chances to hone how you both will work together.

Post # 43
Member
3189 posts
Sugar bee

Age aside, you should work through your life goals, learn about living independently as a responsible adult and spend two or three years getting to know someone before you propose. There is nothing to be gained by rushing through all the fun things in life, and much to lose. 

Post # 44
Member
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

wait. It’s differently if you were both older… 30-40’s and dating for 6 months. Both of yall are too young at the moment and have no rush at all. Getting married is more than just love. It takes preparation and being able to support each other mentally, physically, and financially. Plus you may still be in the honeymoon stage at 6 months. Please wait.

Post # 45
Member
32 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2019

I too say wait not because of your ages, but because of the length of time you’ve been together. 6 months is a short time. I think you need 2 years minimum to really get to know someone better. You don’t always see everything in that short of a time and people can change so much. I was with my then boyfriend for a year before he became a different person at that age. (He was struggling to choose between being who he was: a poet writer musician artist soul, and who his mother wanted him to be: pretentious, moneyed, and a lawyer. Unfortunately, he chose to be who his mother wanted him to be AND he chose a different more suitable girl). 

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