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If you have to ask, then I'd say yes. Personally, I'd want a few years of "real life" out of college first, but everyone is different of course. People change a lot in the 20s. Some couples will make it, some wont... you just wont know until you go for it if thats what you want. I'm in the school of "why rush it"?
@pinkshoes: I agree with the rule: "if you have to ask, then yes."
If you really think you're ready, then own it and don't let other people tell you how mature you are.
If you want to wait a few years, then let it sit and see if you wake up one day and know you're ready.
Yes. But I don't think your too young to have maybe found "the one", but at such a young age I reccomend dating longer, at least two more years :)
I think you are too young only because you are questioning it. I am 22 and have no doubt I'm ready to get married. We waited until we had graduated with our bachelors to get engaged and I am glad we did.
I don't necessarily think you are too young. If YOU feel you are ready, then by all means...
Also, just because you decide to get engaged in the near future it doesn't necessarily follow that you will get married right away. Anyways, these are just my personal opinions and thoughts...you will know what is right for you.
As someone who was also dating her SO for 3 years when we got engaged, and was also at age 20, I would say no (obviously to say yes would make me hypocritical). However I do think there is an interesting point to PP's who said "If you have to ask, yes"
In any event I think it has to do with what you and your SO think, not what other people think.
I think it's about how you feel, I do agree if you are questioning it, then there might be a reason you are thinking that you may be too young.
My now husband and I dated since I was 18 and he 19... and there are alot of changes we both went through growing up into the adults we are now.... I can honestly say that we got engaged at the right time... 5 years later when I was 24 and he was 25....and we were engaged for two more years until I was "done" with graduate school and just got married this October... 7 years later.... I didnt feel any "rush" to get engaged, married, etc... yah it was anoying having people ask why aren't you married yet it's been forever.. blah blah... I say just let it run it's course , you will know when you are "ready". No one can tell you when you are ready.
FI proposed when I was in 4th year and he was in 5th year (because he had done a year internship).. engaged Nov. 2009 and wedding June 2012. We had a long engagement but we needed to finish undergrad and have some future plans before wedding planning. We are both very ready and can't wait :)
If you have to ask, then you already know the answer... that's my rule of thumb, at least.
@starlove: I think youre asking because people are planting the idea in your head that youre young. You seem to be on the right track and getting an education. You dont see yourself marrying until your 23-24 so its not like youre marrying tomorrow. It's alright to have a long engagment. He is just sealing the deal now so you dont get away :)
I am 20, and my fiance is 21. We got engaged pretty early! Trust me, you do not want a long engagement! Enjoy getting to know each other more and spending time together rather than starting to plan the rest of your life already, just enjoy each other!
like the other posts, if you have to ask...then yes.
i was engaged when i was 21 to a really great guy. we were to be married when i was 23. everything was planned, booked, bought, etc. 6 months before the wedding, i broke off the engagement and cancelled the wedding. i realized that there was so much that i wanted to do before getting married. we tried to stay together but he was too hurt. we broke up 8 months later. in hidesight, we should have waited to get engaged. it puts too much pressure on the couple.
what's the rush, you are still very young.
We are pretty young (21 and 23) I am about to graduate from nursing school and he has his associates but another two years left on his bachelors. We talked a lot about waiting until he was done with school but we are ready and have been for a while and we only waited this long to be sure one of us had a career first. I would wait until you are both ready to support eachother as stress free as possible money is one of the biggest challenges that couples face so if you are financially stable and ready to commit to forever go for it, if you have any doubts wait because a few more years will not change anything if you are supposed to be together.
I personally don't understand the point of a long engagement, I feel like you get engaged when you're ready to be married, so if you're planning on getting engaged, but then waiting to get married, en why rush an engagement? I know people have long engagements for one reason or another, but I just dontn understand most of the reasonings. Also, I found that most relationships change when you're no longer in the school environment. I found my now fiance when I was still in med school, we just got engaged now during my first year out, but our relationship now is much different. Not that it's worse, but it's different. There is no longer the pressure of school, or the schedule that being in school brings. I pretty much knew I would have weekends free, be home at a reasonable hour. Now, I am working insane hours, at all different times of day and night, and I get 1 weekend off a month. Im dealing with a high stress environment and a crazy director, it's a test on us for sure.
I would wait and see what happens in the real world, be prepared for a change in your relationship. Also, if one of you is working and the other one staying in school, it can also cause some issue, you'll have money to go out, buy things, and he might still be in the student mentality. I would just wait personally.
I vehemently disagree with the "if you have to ask, you're too young." A lot of people think about engagement and their age. There are also plenty of people who get divorced after they get married in their late 20s and early 30s.
OP, do what YOU want. You need to confident in whatever decision you and your SO choose to make.
@beekiss: Oh I didn't mean that she was definitely too young - I think that if you have to ask 'permission' (or approval?) then you're not ready for anything in life. I don't care if you're dealing with ordering dinner, picking out a shirt, or getting engaged... you have to be mature and confident enough in your own choices and asking if you're "too" anything is kind of a sign that you.... well.... are. You know? Own it! If you want it, do it, and screw everyone else. :)
DH and I got engaged shortly before we both turned 21. Got married just after turning 23. I never felt we were too young - we both got through school, had internships, lived long-distance - all things that prepared us for married life. You have to be confident in your own choice and know that you feel ready to be with him.
Don't worry about being engaged for a long time - we were engaged for 27 months - we were planning a June wedding while at school several hours away. So for us it was nice to be able to take it slow and get stuff done over break but not get too stressed out with wedding planning, tests, studying, internships, all that fun stuff!
@beekiss: No worries, sister! I just wanted to clear up my POV, s'all. :)
If you have questions then wait. Its an obvious feeling when you get it with "Yes, I want to marry this man!" and nothing else in the world will matter. It's not about the age because I knew I wanted to marry DH when I was 19 and now i'm 26 and I still feel the same.
You just know, no questions asked. So the age doesn't matter. If you have questions then wait and see how you feel a year from now.
Minus the master's degree part, I could have written this same post!! I have been with my SO for 2 years now, and I really would love to be engaged within the year. We are both still in our early 20's (21 and 23), but we are positive that we are right for each other and we can't wait to make it official. Sometimes I feel like I'm too young to be worrying about getting engaged, but I am just SO ready and it is really frustrating. Unfortunately, right now we do not have jobs yet, so we are waiting until it is more feasible financially to become engaged. I think that as long as you are in love and are prepared for the challenges that lie ahead, you are ready!! It just stinks that money is such a huge factor. :(
My FI and I are the same age as you guys :P We got engaged in Dec 2011, I was 20 and he was 21. I am at university and I graduate in 2013, like you! My FI is a qualified boiler maker and he works full time. We have been dating for over 4 years now... since we were 16! I guess when he proposed it just felt right. I didn't at all hesitate and it just felt right. We are both living at home because we can't afford a house of our own yet. Although we plan to buy an investment property this year so we can make some money on it to buy our dream home. We are planning to get married late 2014 which is nearly a 3 year engagement. I will be 23 and FI will be 24. He will hopefully be earning top dollar by then I would have been graduated for a year and working full time. We have planned it so that once we are married we will have a beautiful new home to move in to.
ANYWAY.... back to you lol. If you truly love each other and have no doubts just do it! However, like PP have said.. if you have to ask and are quizzing yourself to see if you are ready.. maybe you aren't. If you are both ready it should feel like the natural thing to do. Even if you don't get engaged and just continue dating until you both graduate and see where your lives lead you.
Good luck xx
yes..partly because you're asking..and i also think early 20s should be about enjoying time setting up your life and having fun with friends and in relationships of course. there's no rush to get married.
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I am 20 and he is 21; we have been dating for 3 years this coming May. We have been talking a lot about our future lately, and we know we want to get married. Is it too young/early to get engaged sometime at the end of this year? We will both be seniors in our undergraduate studies and I will have a job when I graduate in 2013. He is going to school for 2 more years to get his masters. We probably wouldn't be getting married for 2-3 years after we get engaged, though, because it would be nice for him to finish school first. What do you think? We have also been going through a book that has 101 questions you should ask/discuss with one another before you get engaged. We are on about 35 and it is going well.