Am I totally in the wrong? Truly want advice. (Long.)

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
6073 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@incog-bee-to:  This sounds like a really bad reality TV show.  It can’t do a person good!

 

1.  Are you able to get out of the house or do you have financial committments that you need to fulfill (aka your name is on the lease?)

 

2.  I would move in with my parents IF it were a safe, normal place (aka drama that doesn’t get to the level it does at the communal house).  FI can come visit you there.

Post # 5
Member
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@sienna76:  Just wait til his brother moves out then go live with him.

Post # 6
Member
25 posts
Newbee

You have job now?  How you pay rent?

Post # 7
Member
3693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Are the two of you planning to get married? It sounds like a lot of your problems could be solved if the two of you could be self-sufficient and move in together.

Post # 8
Member
6073 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@incog-bee-to:  To be living in the sticks, not knowing anyone, not being with my FI would probably be the better situation than living in a house with the FBIL and that drama.  But it souds like don’t konw which is worse for you, hence your asking?

Post # 9
Member
1888 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@incog-bee-to:  just wait a few more months. I know it’s hard to be apart, but it has to be equally hard on your fiance to have his brother and his girlfriend be at one another’s throats constantly. In your place, I would save everyone, myself included, the stress and stay where I am. Focus on your job search and start looking in your fiance’s area too so you don’t have to depend on anyone for a place to live ever again.  

Post # 10
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@cmbr:  +1. OP, what does your FI do? Why do you have to be apart for another 6 months and why are two people who are planning to get married looking for jobs in different states? I’m not sure why he’d choose to extend the lease when you two should just get a place on your own. 

None of this makes sense to me. 

Post # 11
Member
17 posts
Newbee

@incog-bee-to:  Your FBIL sounds like a major asshole, but I’m having a hard time understanding why anyone would willingly put themselves in this kind of toxic situation for any period of time…

Post # 12
Member
2355 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@incog-bee-to:  Everyone sounds pretty immature in this situation. If your FBIL is moving out, then I don’t see why you can’t move back in, but I do wonder how you and your FI are supposed to get married without getting the long distance situation figured out.

Post # 14
Member
3119 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

It’s clear  you’re attributing some of the blame to yourself, and it sounds like rightfully so. But good GRIEF where is your FI in all of this? It’s HIS job to stand up for you and make sure you feel comfortable when it comes to his family. He sounds like he is in no way your champion…and quite frankly I’d be worried about thinking about forever with someone who doesn’t stand by my side when push comes to shove. 

Post # 15
Member
25 posts
Newbee

Why he live with 7 people if he make so much money?

Post # 16
Member
4441 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@incog-bee-to:  As I was reading your description of your FBIL I was shaking my head because I know someone JUST LIKE THAT.  Luckily I’ve never had to live with him!  I wouldn’t move back with FI until FBIL is out of the house, but personally I wouldn’t be able to deal with that shit.  

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