Am I totally rude if I don't invite a friend's boyfriend?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Would you invite this guy?
    Yes : (70 votes)
    30 %
    No : (166 votes)
    70 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1737 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2014 - 13th ~ TN

    @tinypaws:  No, you definitely do not have to feel obligated to invite him. If your friend questions it tell her it is because you are only wanting close friends and family. Which he is not.

    Post # 5
    Member
    8720 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    You don’t HAVE to invite him. Is she traveling for your wedding? I can’t imagine traveling 2,000+ miles to go to a wedding ALONE. I would be prepared for her to possibly decline. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    442 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    You need to invite him, if she considers him her boyfriend. SYou don’t need to know every single person at your wedding, you won’t even notice he’s there. If you are inviting your friend to celebrate your relationship you need to acknowledge hers.

    Post # 7
    Member
    6032 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    If you’re expecting her to travel 2000 miles to your wedding, it’s pretty cold to exclude the boyfriend.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1981 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    @tinypaws:  You never have to invite a guy who is just a boyfriend and not living together-period.

    Post # 9
    Member
    6507 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    You don’t have to invite him and should not feel obligated to do so, however, I’m not sure that I would want to travel 2000+ miles by myself.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1570 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    She may decide not to come.  Accept it graciously if she does.  There is no requirement to invite the BF.  Does she have other friends who will be coming that she can sit with.  Women join the armed forces, go to Iraq.  Others go on business trips.  Its up to her.

    Post # 11
    Member
    88 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I would be so upset if my friend wanted me to travel across the country to trend her wedding, but I couldn’t even bring my boyfriend. It’s your perogitive if you don’t want to invite him, but I wouldn’t be attending, sorry. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    442 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    Yeah, it’s pretty cold. What if she marries this guy? 

    Post # 13
    Member
    1103 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    I’d be fine going 2000 miles alone, but then again I also moved 3000 miles away from my friends and family last year and I am feeling pretty invincible at this point. 

    No, I would not invite him.  It;s too small of a wedding, and you don’t know him.

    Post # 14
    Member
    3433 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

    @tinypaws:  I definitely wouldn’t invite him, and you’ve got the right idea, but I’ve edited what I think you should say: 

     

    “With such a small venue, we’ve had to keep the guest list small, so we’ve extended the invitation to you. We would love to have Boris join you BUT, we’ve already had to pass over so many of our close friends there just isn’t enough space.

    As for this part: 

    if a space opens up, I’ll keep you posted, he’s at the top of the list, etc etc.

    Don’t bother lieing to her, tell her the truth, if she’s upset that’s on her.  You don’t have to apologize or justify any of the choices you’re maknig for YOUR wedding. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    2111 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    I would invite him simply because she would be travelling so far for the wedding. I wouldn’t go by myself that distance. Would you rather have them both there or have her decline?

    Post # 16
    Member
    3433 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

    P.S. I’d just also like to add that I was invited to a wedding last year and my HUSBAND wasn’t invited for a very similar reason.  It’s a friend who I’ve known almost my whole life, but she lives on the other side of the country now and has never met my husband.  She (alone) was invited to our wedding, even though I’m pretty sure she was dating someone at the time, she ended up not being able to come due to finances, which I completely understood.  And when I got the invite to her wedding I didn’t find it strange at all that it was to only me, she’s never met DH and was also having a very small wedding and her reasons were the same as yours, why would she give a seat to someone she’s never met and has no relationship with and take it away from another friend.  I travel alone all the time, and have no issue with it weather it’s for business or pleasure.  Truth be told, I thought she would invite DH, but I wasn’t upset when it turned out she didn’t. 

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