- 4 years ago
- Wedding: July 2014
We are having a small wedding with 40 guests, and literally 20 of those people are family. That leaves me and my fiance with only 20 friends that we can invite. We are already at our limit and wish I could invite more people, but we just don’t have the space at our tiny venue. I am mostly OK with this.
My question is, I have a friend who has been dating a guy for three months. They’ve already broken up and gotten back together once. He sounds like a nice guy (haven’t met him as we live 2000+ miles away) but I don’t want to invite him to the wedding because:
1. We’ve never met, and with such an intimate wedding, I feel weird having someone I don’t know there. It would be different if we had 100 guests, but we are having 40…truly our nearest and dearest friends who we know and love…plus, this guy who we’ve never met and will probably never see again?
2. My friend tends to find a new boyfriend every five to eight months. I feel like this guy probably won’t be around a year from now. (If they were living together or engaged, I’d invite him out of politeness.)
3. There is a good-sized list of friends who we would REALLY like to have come to the wedding if space opens up, and I feel bad saying, “Sorry, Person We Like A Lot, you can’t come” and instead, have this guy there.
Nobody is getting a plus-one, by the way. We know everyone else invited to the wedding. So it would literally be just this guy who we wouldn’t know.
My plan is to send her an invitation (addressed to her, not “and guest”) and if she brings up his invitation, I was going to say something like “With such a small venue, we’ve had to keep the guest list small, so we’ve extended the invitation to you. We would love to have Boris join you if a space opens up, I’ll keep you posted, he’s at the top of the list, etc etc.”
She will DEFINITELY expect him to be invited and I’m dreading the drama that will happen if we don’t invite him. But really, I get a weird gut reaction when I think about looking into the room and seeing the people we love most, plus this stranger who I don’t know at ALL. I hate to be bridezilla but when it comes down to it, I just don’t want to invite him to such a small, intimate moment in our lives.
Am I being reasonable? Unreasonable? Help!