(Closed) Am I unreasonable?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

If I were you, I would skip the rehearsal dinner and screw your FMIL.  We did not have a rehearsal dinner because we just had to much to do before the wedding and I did not feel like I was missing out on anything. 

I preferred to have a nice wedding wihere everything went smoothly, than a rehearsal dinner. 

Post # 4
Member
7175 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I’m sorry that FMIL overlooked the importance of attending the tea.

I’m beyond confused about the $10 to each son and the choking incident; obviously there is some tension there and FMIL shouldn’t demand you make anyone do anything.

Create boundaries for yourself and your family (FI, your daughter, etc) – but, it’s no reason (that I can see at this point) for you to excommunicate your FMIL (unless, of course, your FI doesn’t want a relationship with his mother anymore).

You shouldn’t use your FMIL to pay for things, just because you can’t afford it.  If you don’t want a relationship with her, that’s your answer.  It’s a very generous thing to pay for any part of a wedding, IMO.

Post # 5
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@jayskaren:  Then procedes to tell me my daughter owes her sons-MY FI 10 dollars each cause she did not give her 47 yr old son a ride home from the bar after he choked my daughter and dissappeared.

Sorry, but what are you trying to say??

1) From how I am reading it, it means, your daughter owes your FI $10 (or maybe your daughter owes $10 to each of your FI’s brothers??).

2) Your daughter owes this money because she did not give a ride to your 47 yr old FI (or maybe your FI’s 47 yr old brothers??).

3) Your daughter did not drive him/them home because he/they choked your daughter and then he/they dissappeared??

Post # 6
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Wait, what? 

Post # 7
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

Who does she owe the $10 to?  Did your FI choke your daughter?  Color me confused!

Post # 8
Member
7992 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

So confused… who choked whom? Did you call the police? And why does somebody owe someone else money?

To be honest I’m more concerned about the violence here than the dinner…

Post # 9
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Rachel631:  This!

@OP:

Who does you FI want excluded from wedding? your daughter? The way i read that is your FMIL called last minute and said she wouldn’t be attending your function and then proceeded to scold you for your daughter not giving your FI a ride home from the bar, because he choked her, and that for that reason your daughter owes your FI $10….

-If thats what you meant all i can say is WHAT!?!?

Post # 10
Member
1705 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I am so confused!

Post # 11
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I didn’t understand one bit of that…

Post # 12
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I am relieved that I am not the only person confused by this.

Post # 13
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I just hope OP comes back at some point and clarifies for us, I so hope I took that completely wrong.

Post # 14
Member
7794 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think the “-” is a minus sign, i.e OP’s daughter owes each of her FMIL son’s, except for FI, $10. Apparently there was an incident with the daughter and one of the brothers at a bar.

 
I agree that the violence is a more serious issue, and as for this afternoon tea, it sounds like it will be much more pleasant without FMIL there.

And as I always say, let FI deal with his mother. IF he wants her excluded, that’s his call. I also hope FI is not inviting his violent brother.

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