Post # 1
So today the venues residents are holding a tea for me and I told fmil about it and called today to remind her. She informed me that she invited her sister over for dinner at 4 our event is at 330-Then procedes to tell me my daughter owes her sons-MY FI 10 dollars each cause she did not give her 47 yr old son a ride home from the bar after he choked my daughter and dissappeared. I am hurt and FI wants her excluded-problem being she is paying for rehersal dinner we are broke since we paid for the wedding.
Post # 3
If I were you, I would skip the rehearsal dinner and screw your FMIL. We did not have a rehearsal dinner because we just had to much to do before the wedding and I did not feel like I was missing out on anything.
I preferred to have a nice wedding wihere everything went smoothly, than a rehearsal dinner.
Post # 4
I’m sorry that FMIL overlooked the importance of attending the tea.
I’m beyond confused about the $10 to each son and the choking incident; obviously there is some tension there and FMIL shouldn’t demand you make anyone do anything.
Create boundaries for yourself and your family (FI, your daughter, etc) – but, it’s no reason (that I can see at this point) for you to excommunicate your FMIL (unless, of course, your FI doesn’t want a relationship with his mother anymore).
You shouldn’t use your FMIL to pay for things, just because you can’t afford it. If you don’t want a relationship with her, that’s your answer. It’s a very generous thing to pay for any part of a wedding, IMO.
Post # 5
@jayskaren: Then procedes to tell me my daughter owes her sons-MY FI 10 dollars each cause she did not give her 47 yr old son a ride home from the bar after he choked my daughter and dissappeared.
Sorry, but what are you trying to say??
1) From how I am reading it, it means, your daughter owes your FI $10 (or maybe your daughter owes $10 to each of your FI’s brothers??).
2) Your daughter owes this money because she did not give a ride to your 47 yr old FI (or maybe your FI’s 47 yr old brothers??).
3) Your daughter did not drive him/them home because he/they choked your daughter and then he/they dissappeared??
Post # 7
Who does she owe the $10 to? Did your FI choke your daughter? Color me confused!
Post # 8
So confused… who choked whom? Did you call the police? And why does somebody owe someone else money?
To be honest I’m more concerned about the violence here than the dinner…
Post # 9
Who does you FI want excluded from wedding? your daughter? The way i read that is your FMIL called last minute and said she wouldn’t be attending your function and then proceeded to scold you for your daughter not giving your FI a ride home from the bar, because he choked her, and that for that reason your daughter owes your FI $10….
-If thats what you meant all i can say is WHAT!?!?
Post # 11
I didn’t understand one bit of that…
Post # 12
I am relieved that I am not the only person confused by this.
Post # 13
I just hope OP comes back at some point and clarifies for us, I so hope I took that completely wrong.
Post # 14
I think the “-” is a minus sign, i.e OP’s daughter owes each of her FMIL son’s, except for FI, $10. Apparently there was an incident with the daughter and one of the brothers at a bar.
I agree that the violence is a more serious issue, and as for this afternoon tea, it sounds like it will be much more pleasant without FMIL there.
And as I always say, let FI deal with his mother. IF he wants her excluded, that’s his call. I also hope FI is not inviting his violent brother.
Post # 15
Sorry-A WEEK AGOmy daughter went out with My FI brother he is 47 my daughter is 22. My fi’s brother gave my daughter 10 dollars for a ride home as he has a dui and a breathalizer in his car. Well she called me at 1 am to say he choked her in a drunken state and took of. My FI also gave her 10 dollars. So his mother was mad at my daughter for not giving her younger son a ride home and somehow thinks that my daughter owes both her sons the 10 dollars. And that she made other plans for today for my tea. No problem it was wonderful and MY fi asked if she was coming to the wedding. I dont care about anything but marring my soon to be hubby. I was just real hurt that she couldnt call her sister and reschedule-I called her at 9 this morning.I told my FI I could care less.
The rehersal dinner was FMIL’s Idea-she asked what tradition does his Family need to do. FI;s first marriage
Post # 16
@drummerbride: FI wants to exclude Mother-He feels she is being resentful