Am I unreasonable?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
6279 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

tell her calmly, that you would love to attend her wedding but you don’t want to put your life and plans on hold.  mention the timing of things you have coming up and tell her that you would love to attend and hope she can make up her mind soon.

Post # 4
Member
502 posts
Busy bee

Plan your own stuff and do your own stuff. She’s already aware of the situation, so no worries!

Post # 5
Member
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@mnp:  She said it. She doesn’t care! Live your life and make your plans. She’s choosing to switch up the dates knowing that people may not be able to come. 

Post # 6
Member
6887 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!

November 2013 has come and gone. Did you mean 2014? 

I waffled on wedding dates *so* much. Seriously. I changed my mind like once a week. A lot came down to “what can we afford by X date.” Maybe she’s realizing more and more how much a wedding actually costs. Cut her some slack, it’s your sister. If she wants to change the date, whatever. If she’s already sent out the STDs, then yeah, it’s going to be a bit harder for her and people will probably be annoyed, but if she hasn’t sent out the STDs then what does it really matter? 

And although she keeps waffling and you want to make plans, it’s your sister’s wedding. It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity to be by her side. I would hold off booking anything until she really decides, and try not to be annoyed at her. Help her plan instead of complaining.

Post # 7
Member
525 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@mnp:  I would book off what you know you need to now – the last thing you need is to miss out on getting that time off because you’ve been waiting around for her to decide. 

With a sister I would be flat out honest with her about all of this and be very clear that it is a possibility you may not be able to attend because of her indecision. It may prompt her to realize that you are serious and not just being a nagging sister. It sounds like she is doing a typical sister move – pretending that she doesn’t care.

Even just giver her a deadline that you need to know the date by – this could help her set a deadline for herself. You can ask her what exactly is going on and perhaps uncover a hidden reason why she can’t settle on a date – you may end up helping her. It also really isn’t the end of the world if you end up missing this because she waited too late to set the date, you don’t want to put everything else on hold for too long and miss many more things as a result.

Post # 8
Member
525 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@FutureDrAtkins:  I’m assuming she means 2014… so often I’ve been typing out dates in 2014 that relate to my wedding and I always realize I typed in 2013 as I type it so much already!

Post # 9
Member
7216 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@mnp:  +1 to everyone else: book what you need to book and don’t worry about her wedding until she sets a date. Don’t let her plans worry you if she herself doesn’t care if you can’t be there.

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