(Closed) Am I weird for not wanting a conventional Bridal Shower???

posted 7 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I guess I’m weird, because I didn’t want one at all, and didn’t have one!

Post # 4
4824 posts
Honey bee

I didnt want to either and had a pretty big fight about it with my mom. She said since older people, family and future in laws were coming it would be insulting and rude to not open the presents because people, especially older people, are expecting this. She said if I only wanted my close friends then I could do it. She even went on to say if I wanted to do it that way she wouldnt come because she would be too embarassed by it.

So the deal was No games at all, I never like those and I went through the presents pretty quick. Since you are opening them you can set the pace.

Looking back, I do think my mom was right despite how adament I was at the time. I dont like watching people open presents for hours, but I do like watching them open the present I brought.  

We also made sure to have food and alcohol people could eat and drink during it all.

Post # 5
132 posts
Blushing bee

I hate bridal showers too, but I actually like seeing the bride open presents.  I loathe the games.  I don’t want any at mine. 

Post # 7
297 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Well I guess I’m just a big girl! I love bridal showers! The games, talking about the wedding, the in-laws, eating, drinking, PRESENTS!!! I had 2 bridal showers as a matter of fact. I had one at home with my friends (that wasn’t that great), and one in Cincinnati, Ohio, where all of my aunts/uncles and cousins live. That one was a blast. It was co-ed, no games, drinking (lots of drinking, cause it IS my family lol), 2 cakes, tons of food, PRESENTS, PRESENTS, PRESENTS!!! Also, my cousin’s neighbor (the host of my bridal shower) had a huge party going on that night at his house. He is a wine-maker. Has all of his grapes shipped to him from California on a flat bed truck to his house! Yeah, really! Anyways, we all snuck over there and crashed his party. He had over 500 bottles of wine and had roasted to pigs in his back yard. Needless to say, my 2nd bridal shower was a BLAST! I think I grew a little closer with my family that night. It was great! Oh, and that was the first time the Fiance met all of my extended family, he loved them…and all of the ladies in my family swooned over him! LOL <3

Post # 8
36 posts
  • Wedding: December 2012

I am totally with you on this!! I would much rather have an event like candle making or even just a bbq with some games like bocce ball. Not just have people come to give me presents. 

I went to a shower once and we pretty much showed up and she opened presents and then everyone left…….. not my kind of event. I would feel so guilty? If that is the right word for it. I just wouldn’t feel right about it. 

As for a gift opening after the wedding, there will not be one for us. We will have a brunch and we will take what ever people bring us home. 

I still haven’t had a discussion with my mom about any of this yet…. 

Post # 9
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I completely agree with you!  I wasn’t even going to have a bridal shower, but my Mother-In-Law decided to throw one for me to hit her relatives and friends up for presents!  I didn’t know a single person there except for my Mother-In-Law (all my friends and family live far away and I decided to do just a bachelorette party with them).  To me it felt like a ploy for presents, which it kind of was, and even though it wasn’t my idea it still made me uncomfortable.  I guess maybe it would have been different if I knew these people OR if it had been a couples shower with my husband there because he actually knew all of his parents’ friends that attended.  I really hated being the only person involved in opening presents with everyone staring at me and expecting a reaction.  Ugh.  I’m not pregnant yet, but I’ve already been thinking about a way to do an alternative baby shower, because I really don’t want to go through that again.  

I think the idea of having an activity like candle making instead of the normal cheesy games is a cute idea.  I feel like some guests might be disappointed that they weren’t there while you open presents as that is expected.  Here’s a sneaky idea to avoid that, but I’m not sure it would work- maybe you could arrange the shower at a candle making / pottery painting place or something like that.  Usually those activities take time and you only reserve the room for so long, so you might not even have time to open the presents at that location.  If you have it at someone’s house that wouldn’t work.  OR you could do a couple’s shower, or do a shower where the men do some kind of activity while the women do the games or whatever, and your Fiance could come back and open gifts with you.  Once you are done with the activities, you could say “you’re welcome to stay for the gift opening if you want” or something like that to give them an out to leave if they don’t want to be bored watching you open every gift.  

Post # 11
843 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I hated the idea as well.  My Fiance and I had a joint “shower.”  It was really just a party with all our friends celebrating us and instead of normal shower gifts we had a “stock the bar” theme.  It was great!

Post # 12
679 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I understand not wanting to put guests through hours of opening presents, but that is truly what a shower is for, opening presents.  I would not want to show up to a shower with a gift and then not even get to see the bride open it.  I, personally, enjoy watching people open the gift that I have chosen for them, even if it was off of a registry.  A previous poster’s point about older guests is completely true.  The older, aunts, grandma, friends, etc, will find it rude that you do not at least acknowledge the gift that they gave you.  There are options to this.  Don’t have games.  It’s not necessary.  Most showers I have attended, at most, have had the Gift Bingo game.  If it takes hours to open presents then the bridesmaids are not stepping up.  My best friend’s shower had over 100 guests and we had the gifts opened and packed up within 45 minutes.  You just need to be organized.  One option (not my favorite) is to have a “display” shower.  You request that guests “go Green” and not wrap the presents.  The gifts are then displayed on a table with a card indicating who it is from and you acknowledge each gifts quickly, rather than opening each one.

Post # 13
1697 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@burchca:i personally never care for opening presents in front of others! And i never csre to see what people have received!

Post # 14
7420 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t care for them either. If I get one I’m totally hinting that I’d much rather a spa day. I have no interest in cooing and awwwing over presents or playing silly games. Yuck.

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