Am I wrong for thinking this is rude of her?

posted 3 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 2
Member
598 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015 - Dreams Las Mareas - Costa Rica

oh wow! that is rude and crazy!!! I’m glad you didnt respond 🙂

Post # 3
Member
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Don’t feed the gimme pigs. How rude of her!

Post # 4
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Honestly, I don’t blame her for asking. There’s no unawkward way to ask that question and she probably wants to make sure she thanks everyone. I’m sorry but it was really uncool of you to go to the wedding, enjoy the food and everything else and then not even get them a card. Did your fiance get them something at least? I get that she might not be the nicest person to you but you have to put your personal feelings aside if you’re going to go to the wedding. If you really felt strongly about her I just think you shouldnt have gone rather than go and not get a gift.

Post # 5
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Yes, it’s wrong to not get them any sort of gift, but you do get some leeway to send it after the wedding–I think traditional etiquette says a whole year! 

The story about gifts getting stolen may or may not be true. You can’t tell from a text message, and I’m inclined to give her the benefit of the doubt. She’s probably just worried about her thank you notes–if you got her something and then it got stolen off the table, she won’t know to send you a thank you note for it! Just say “No, we didn’t bring it to the wedding, but it’s on the way.” And then, y’know, send them a gift. Doesn’t have to be extravagant or expensive, but give them something

Post # 6
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

The way she worded the text WAS rude, yes. I do agree on that

Post # 7
Member
42460 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If she really thinks that some of her gifts might have been stolen, she needs to learn to write more graciously.

I would follow up be sending her a card.

Post # 8
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

…oh wait. This is trolling, isn’t it? Totally got me. 😉

Post # 9
Member
3693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

She’s rude for asking, but I’d never go to a wedding empty-handed.

Post # 10
Member
4215 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

It’s possible they actually do think someone stole from them. If this person already rubs you the wrong way, you’re more likely to be bothered by her. IMO it’s rude to not bring a gift to a wedding. That being said, just tell them you got them a crystal vase or something and see how she responds. If someone is stealing stuff, there will have been more than 1 gift stolen, and if she’s just being rude, I doubt she’ll have the sack to call you on it. If she does, she’s being rude for asking and nuts to her. 

Post # 11
Member
1049 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

That’s really rude of her, she should have just left it and taken the higher road.

That said, I know gifts aren’t compulsery, but I would never go to a wedding empty handed.  If you didn’t like the bride and your guy isn’t that close then why didn’t you just decline? To not gift something, even something small as a token, particularly when your husband is in the bridal party IMO is horribly rude, even if it’s not according to “etiquette”.  

Post # 12
Member
6504 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

She could have worded it better but if stuff really was stolen I feel like there isn’t really an easy way to ask people if they brought something. Sounds like you already don’t like her so you just read it in the worst possible way. Honestly, you were both rude… I’m someone who believes that a gift isn’t necessary but you could at least have brought a card.

Post # 14
Member
5192 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

MissSweetiepie:  Hmmm…it’s certainly not smooth of her.  If she really thinks that things got stolen then I guess it’s not the worst?  But really, I could NEVER bring myself to send a text like this, even if I had known for a fact that things were stolen.

But if you are right and she’s just fishing to confirm that you didn’t get her anything, then yes, it’s totally rude.

 

Post # 15
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

MissSweetiepie:  Did your husband get them anything? It shouldn’t matter how close you are with the couple, I really don’t think. You made the choice to go to a wedding as a married couple. Not all his friends or friends’ wives are going to be your close friends.

 

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by  Songstress_7.
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