Post # 1
#1-FMIL asked what color dress to get. I said either gold or fushia. She said she would probable get gold. A couple weeks ago she told Fiance she was going to get ivory. I told Fiance to tell her not to get ivory because I dont want anyone walking down the aisle in that color except me and the flower girls. Am I wrong for that?
#2-FI was going to show Future Mother-In-Law invite. That was fine with me, I showed my mom also. Then he says he was going to show the ENTIRE family at the fourth of July gathering. I told him no because I didn’t want everyone to see the invite. Am I wrong for that?
#3-FMIL is doing rehearsal dinner. Said she was going get barbeque from a place here in town. Problem:Fiance and I never eat barbeque unless a family member has cooked it. We never eat at barbeque joints. Plus Fiance said he wanted steak. I really dont know why he didn’t say anything. Am I wrong to suggest another restaurant, a seafood one that will be cheaper than the barbeque joint?
I’m tired of everyone going against me. It’s like I’m on my own with decisions and when I make one someone has something to say. I really just want to call it off and elope.
Post # 3
1-2-&3 no you are not wrong it is your wedding. But she’s probably just really excited, cut her some slack and try to nicely let her know what you are wanting. Don’t be afraid to stand up for your wedding, just try to not hurt feelings
Post # 4
#1 and 2, I’d say you’re right. Fiance needs to speak up if he’s the one with the preference re: #3, otherwise, let it go since she’s hosting.
Post # 5
#1 and #2 I think you are right, hold your ground. #3 is iffy… barbeque means different things by region… is there something at the restaurant that you would be okay with eating, even if it isn’t your favorite food? If you absolutely won’t eat anything there, then maybe your Fiance could mention it to his mom… but if it’s more a matter of food preferences, I would say let that one go- she’s paying and I learned with wedding planning that you need to pick your battles.
Post # 6
3. yes If she is hosting the rehearsal dinner (that includes paying for it) she gets to choose the menu. You can suggest all you like but I would find a different way of couching your objections rather than
we never eat at barbeque joints. It could come across as you thinking you are superior in some way. I might say that
I am concerned that barbeque will be a little messy for people who are dressed up for the rehearsal dinner.
Post # 7
#1 Yes, because she can wear what she wants at the end of the day you are the BRIDE and i think no one will get the two of you confused.
#2 No, you are right, why would he want to show something around that isn’t ready to be shown yet?
#3 No, you are right i guess. You can never go wrong with cheaper…at least most of the time.
Post # 8
1 No most definitely not. Why as you what color to wear if she’s going to wear what she wants anyway? It’s like she’s blatantly disregarding wat you told her. I have an express color code and I would be pissed if it wasn’t followed (But forgive me I have major OCD about things like numbers and colours not just for the wedding in life itself)
2. No. I think showing his mom or dad is fine but it’s not show and tell for the family, he shouldn’t spoil the surprise for everyone else.
3. And I will say No for this one because even though she is hosting and paying and as such will have free regin in my opinion who you are and what you like (taste, preferences etc) should be taken into consideration in the planning. However I am inclined to agree with a previous poster you should pick your battles, you don’t want to seem unreasonable or like you’re pissing on the Future In-Laws all the time.
Post # 9
1) She should NOT wear ivory, and your Fiance needs to insist on that.
2) This isn’t a right vs. wrong issue. This is a compromise-with-your-FI issue. In this case, although he COULD show the invitation to everyone at the picnic, he should put your feelings of NOT wanting them to see it ABOVE his feelings of wanting them to see it. Afterall, they eventually will see it, and it’s not wrong for you to want to preserve the specialness of having it be a surprise when it arrives in the mail.
3) She is hosting and paying for the event. Although you and your FI may offer ideas and even indicate a preference, the decision is really up to her.
Post # 10
the dress thing don’t let it get to you… she will be the one people are like wtf about but she will not steal your spotlight. My mother wants to were a dress that matches my bridesmaids… ok whatever. When FMIl asked me I told her anything but a white or cream. On the invite well your fi is excited but perhaps you should explian why you don’t want it shown and that they will see it when it arrives. I ended up showing a lot of my family the invite before it was sent but it is no big deal to me. as for the rehearsal well she is paying for it and hosting so wherever she wants, if you don’t like it pay for it yourself and host where you want to.
Post # 11
I’d let the dress thing go, I’d maybe say hold up on showing the invites, and i’d just have the barbecue if she’s paying :/
Post # 12
1. I don’t want our moms wearing any shade of ivory/white, so I’m with you on that.
2. Why bother showing everyone? They’re going to receive it soon enough anyways. So I’m not sure what the purpose of showing people would be, really.
3. Just eat the food she is offering unless you’re allergic or morally opposed to it.
Post # 13
i have to agree with the dress – some people are like ahh wtf who cares.. for me, you don’t wear white or cream to a wedding period, unless you’re the bride or flower girl. It’s inappropriate and she should know that if she doesn’t already.
I understand not wanting to show off the invites, that’s something you want to keep secret until it’s mailed, Fiance should suck it up and wait for them to get them in the mail like everyone else.
As for the bbq – let’s be honest, the rehearsal dinner isn’t just for you. The wedding is yours, let it be – why can you eat bbq you make and not from a restaurant? She’s paying and she’s hosting and unless you hate it which I don’t think you do because you said you’d eat it if someone you know cooked it, you should just let it go.