- 7 years ago
- Wedding: December 2011
I am getting married in December. I was engaged on the 22nd of May which has given us a pretty short engagement compared to some that I have seen on here. I’m not preggo and he doesn’t need a visa, we are just ready to be married. We both knew it was coming, and I had already planned a lot of stuff in my head.
Soon after we were engaged (by soon I mean like a week), I started asking my girls to be my bridesmaids (I had 8 total). I made cute little cards with a sweet poem for each girl and hand delivered it. About two weeks later I made an appointment at David’s Bridal to look at BM dresses. I gave everyone about a week’s notice and told them that I’d be happy to go again if they weren’t able to make it. The first trip I went with my FMIL, FSIL/BM, 1st MOH, and another BM. The second time I took my mom, three sisters/BMs, and another BM. If you’ve done the math in your head that only makes 7 BMs.
-Enter shady BM-
This BM and I (we’ll call her Anna) went to college together and were quite close. We are a lot alike and have always gotten along very well. It was only natural for me to ask her to be in my wedding. She was very excited and immediately said yes and started asking wedding questions. The thing is, she NEVER answered when I would call. I asked her many times when a good day would be for her to go look at dresses and such. Her schedule is much more difficult than mine (she has a four year old and a five month old) and I wanted to help her out as much as I could. She would always say she couldn’t find a sitter or make up some other excuse. I gave up and told her that she could order online too.
Last week I called David’s to see when the dresses needed to be ordered and everything and the lady told me July 31st. I immediately sent out a message on FB and told my girls. Sunday night I sent a reminder. About 30 minutes after I sent the reminder, Anna sent me a text telling me that there was no way that she could get a dress ordered by then. I asked her to call and she said she couldn’t.
Over the course of the next 15 minutes or so, we texted back and forth. I told her that I wish she would have told me sooner because I might have been able to help and that I would be happy to go look with her one day (because she has still YET to go). I reminded her that they have lots of dresses at different price points and they also have a layaway program. (All of my girls are wearing different dresses.)
She starts blaming it on the fact that she has kids and bills and no job. I told her that I understand the situation, but I really just need to know if she’s going to be able to do it or not, because in my opinion the only thing a BM should have to do is buy a dress and show up. Then she blows up and calls me.
For the next five minutes I sit and listen to her yell at me about how I haven’t kept her informed (I’ve probably called her 40 times; 5 phone calls or so have been returned). After she’s finished, I say “Are you going to continue to b*tch me out or are you going to let me talk?” She hangs up.
I assume this means she’s out? I talked to some of my BMs and my FI asking what they thought I should do. All agreed that I should ask someone else. I did so yesterday. I feel like my decision had to be rushed because of the fact that the dress had to be ordered in two weeks. I guess my question is, do you think I’m in the wrong? What should I do now?