Post # 1
So my sister and I signed up together at a local gym with the goal of both of us getting in shape for my wedding. However, about 90% of the time we are supposed to go, she bails on me at the last second. Usually this happens after a long day at work (we work at the same company), and I would feel so unmotivated I wouldn’t go either which is my own fault. So in the last two weeks I have been working out with my Fiance before work as I can take him as a guest. It’s been great as he motivates me and will literally flip me out of bed if I refuse to wake up. We get to spend more time together, and I know he is just as determined as me to shape up for our wedding. Seeing our results, my sister now wants to go with us but she expects Fiance and I to pick her up and drop her off. The distance isnt the problem as she only lives two streets away. The probLem is she is never on time, and I feel as if I would have to check in with her every day to see if she feels up for it. I told her she should just meet us at the gym as if I carpooled with her it would limit one of our work outs if the other wants to leave. But she’s now mad at me. I get why she’s upset, but I have a very strict timeline bc I go before work. Am I wrong? Should I just drive her? It’s a bit uncomfortable as we work in the same company. The last time we got into a disagreement she badmouthed about me to my coworkers. =/
Post # 3
You’re not wrong. It’s not your responsibility to drag her to the gym!
If you really feel bad, though, you could offer to drive her on the condition that if she’s not ready when you stop by at xxx time, you’re going on without her. Like, she has to be ready and waiting in the driveway, and if she’s not, tough titty.
Post # 4
@stillme: This is what I would do.
Post # 5
I used to work out with a friend, and she developed a habit of bailing on me too. Eventually I gave up on her and just stuck to my own schedule. Despite lots of promises that all her sudden “other plans” were just a one-time thing, she kept no-showing and I was working out alone for the rest of my time at that gym.
Your sis can’t expect you to do all the legwork here. She needs to find her own motivation and I think you’re right to stick to your guns.
If she lives two streets over, then she can walk to your place if she wants a ride. Give her a deadline, and if she’s not at your place by then, you leave for the gym.
And that’s really unprofessional of her to bring your personal lives into the workplace.
Post # 6
Nope you’re not wrong! It’s not your responsibility to get her to the gym and motivate her, if she wants to join you, then she should have to make the effort to make sure it happens. I like @stillme’s suggestion of the condition though! Goodluck! And by the way, awesome work of you and Fiance making it a couple’s thing and being there to motivate each other!
Post # 7
@stillme: I agree with this.
You’re not in the wrong here.
Post # 9
you’re not wrong at all. I agree with PPs. Call her five minutes beforehand to tell her you’re leaving and then if she’s not ready when you get there, leave. be firm!
Post # 10
I agree with stillme, for sure. Give her a time limit, and if she’s not there, leave her. It’s not your responsibility to motivate her to go to the gym. If she wants to, she’s a grown woman, who knows how to be ready on time.
Post # 11
@stillme: Yup – I agree this is the way to go!
Post # 12
Thanks ladies. I know you’re all right. It’s just hard bc she’s family and I do feel bad for her (not just for this but other things in her life). Fiance doesn’t want me to pick her up at all bc he thinks if she runs late even for a minute, it will cause drama if I leave her as she is a bit highstrung. I’m just going to focus on getting in shape and cut all the negativity out.
Post # 13
I would just tell her that you will call her when you wake up as her wake up call, but that she should meet you at the gym!
I used to have someone that I worked with do this to me…I would be waiting and it would bother me because if I didn’t get there on time all the elliptical’s would be in use and I never had time to spare in the morning before work!
Post # 14
By her logic, you have every right to be mad at her. She bailed on you several times,
Don’t feel bad. it’s harsh, but you aren’t her mother, her alarm clock, or her chauffeur.
Post # 15
I would give her one chance. Tell her you’re picking her up at 6am and she better be ready. Be there at 6am. If she isn’t ready, tell her this is why this won’t work.