Am i wrong or is my mother right? you tell me bee's

posted 3 years ago in Family
  • poll: Am i wrong or is my mother wrong?
    your mother is wrong. : (220 votes)
    96 %
    you are wrong. : (9 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2527 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    @HisNightOwl2014:  i think your mom is in the wrong here. if this is the 10th trip then she’s already had the mother/daughter experience with dress shopping. if you want your MIL there, then invite her and tell your mom to suck it up.

    Post # 4
    Member
    4576 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @calibee79:  +10

    @HisNightOwl2014:  Tell Momzilla to cool it. I think it’s a lovely gesture. I’d simply say “Mom, this is the millionth time doing this and you’ve been there every step of the way. I think it would mean alot to MIL to be there this *once*”

    Post # 5
    Member
    5697 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @HisNightOwl2014:  Your mom is wrong, it’s a “whoever you choose to invite” thing. Especially when she’s gone 9 times. I would have told her she can choose not to come if she wants. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    3570 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Your mother is completely selfish and acting like a brat.  I always thinks it’s nice when a MIL is invited to join in the shopping trips. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Neither of you are wrong! My Mom also would have been upset if my MIL had come dress shopping with us! I also don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting to invite your FMIL.

    But if you prize a good relationship with your Mom, I’d let this one go…

    Post # 8
    Member
    917 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    Your mom needs to chill. It’s your dress and you cant take whomever you damn well please to shop for it. I think it’s wonderful that you want your FMIL there, seeing what some other ladies on the boards are dealing with. Plus, adding another set of eyes is pretty smart.

    My first shopping trip was with my mom and FMIL, second was with mom and dad, third was with one of my bridesmaids, and the final (successful) trip was with just my mother. She never protested adding other folks and was a bit bummed that the bridesmaid couldn’t make that last trip. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    24 posts
    Newbee

    Bottom line – it ain’t your mom’s wedding, it’s not her “experience”, it’s yours. She’s being a brat, but she’s mom, it’s understandable jelousy. 

    I’m betting she feels threatened in some way, doesn’t want to be replaced, wants to be the one to be there when you find “The One”. Let her know that isn’t fair to you, nor is it fair to your future MIL. After all, you’re marrying her son 🙂

    Post # 10
    Member
    1397 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    It is your dress and your wedding, invite who you want to go dress shopping.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2325 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I think you are well within your right to invite who you want. I mean, my first dress trying on I did by myself!

    Post # 12
    Member
    8720 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Wait….whose dress are you shopping for? Yours or your mother’s? I will give my

    answer based off which dress you are looking for.

    Post # 13
    Member
    2555 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Oh here we go. it seems that at some point every mom starts pulling the “but I’m the mother of the bride!” Card. It’s your 10th time going. The magic is gone. This is now in the area of being a chore. Let your MIL come along. If your mother refuses to come- she’s presumably already been there 10 times- just go without her.

    Post # 14
    Member
    7179 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    I don’t think either of you are wrong. 

    You want your MIL to join you – nothing wrong there.

    Your mother wants it to be a special mother/daughter moment – nothing wrong there.

    …but, 10th time shopping and your mom still doesn’t want to budge?!  That seems a little much, IMO.  I’d probably tell my mom it’s important for me to include my MIL and ask if she’d rather have her join the two of you (on the 10th shopping trip) or if she’d rather have you go with FMIL alone for an 11th trip 😉  

     

     

     

     

    Post # 15
    Member
    387 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I think your mother is totally in the wrong here, why shouldn’t your FMIL be included? It would be a great bonding  expierience for all of you.  I hope she changes her mind!

    Post # 16
    Member
    2661 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    err maybe the first time she can have it to herself, but after 10 times? that’s just crazy. And what if you wanted a close girlfriend to come? I bet she’d let you do that.

    She’s viewing FMIL as competition or something. Just let her know that she’s the most important to you, but you’d really like to share this experience with FMIL, esp since she didn’t get to go with her own daughters.

    my SO only has brothers…I definitely plan on inviting his mom to come dress shopping, as she won’t get the experience otherwise! (my mom has three daughters…plenty of us to go around!)

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