(Closed) Am I wrong to be a bit peeved?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@ladyartichoke:  I totally understand the “our” place vs “his” place. Fiance moved into our apt a month and a half before I did because I was out of state doing an internship. He already owned most of what we needed to furnish it because he had lived in apartments before while I lived in dorms. That said, I would give him the go ahead to purchase a bed, since they’re all pretty similar anyways and you don’t have to sleep on it. Could you two shop online for the bedding so you both know you like it? That way you don’t come home to furniture you’ll have to live with for a long time that you had no input on.

Post # 5
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

i’m sorry you’re going through this. its so hard merging identities when you first move in with someone. this visit does seem a bit badly timed to be honest. i think shopping together online could be a good solution. maybe create like an amazon wishlist so he can see the kind of things you like and then you’re still choosing with him!

Post # 7
6207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

Why is this friend coming to stay with you? It’s great that you’re letting him, but just to share my experience with you:

My Fiance and I just moved in together the last week of March, and that same week, Fiance invited his college roommate to move in with us temporarily to find a job in our area. It is the worst decision I have made in a while to allow it to happen, because I barely feel like we get any alone time together unless we are in bed. We want to eat dinner? Friend is there. Fiance comes home from work, and I have to compete for his time. Whenever we watch TV, his friend appears and asks us questions the whole episode (oh, are you watching on netflix? what are you watching? I haven’t watched in a long time, are they still together? blah blah blah blah BLAH). We get no alone time because all space is common space. He is there all the time, even when Fiance is at work, and I feel like I’m babysitting or trying to accommodate him all the time.

If you actually are okay with him staying with you, then good luck! But make sure you are sure because a few weeks is a LOOONNGGG time. 

(BTW I also think that the internet furnishing is a good idea =))

Post # 9
6207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

@ladyartichoke:  It might sound a little harsh, (obvi i’m not bitter at all haha) but there’s a reason people “couch surf”- anything other than that is called overstaying your welcome. I get wanting to help out your friend, but at least the way I feel is that this is a special time for a couple, and having your friend stay with you makes it feel more like a hostel or dorm than your first home together. Does he have any other friends in the area who can also host him? 

By The Way FI’s friend has been with us for about 7 weeks now. Make sure the guy has a round trip ticket haha. And since he is staying with you guys for an extended amount of time, make sure you lay out your expectations beforehand as to making sure he knows if he’s responsible for contributing to food/groceries, his transportation, dishes, etc. YOU are doing HIM a favor.

But let’s hope it will all work out and you don’t have to be bitter like me =)

Post # 12
2321 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

If this friend is a nice, helpful, respectful person, let him in for a cpl weeks. But let Fiance know that he cannot make a habit of having ppl over like this going into the future.

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